jalapeno kettle chips i love u

the feminine urge to say “ouch” when i bump into things that doesn’t even hurt

do you mind if i wear my black t shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment

Before you beef with me know i am deeply malicious to my core once upset

https://t.co/aB75NBiNY6

I got banned from the dog park because my dog wouldn’t stop absorbing the life essence from the other dogs and leaving their emptied husks lying around

https://t.co/CIZPtZa4A1

forced to go to work when i just wanna be a fucking vampire

“listen to your body” body wants a cheeseburger and some hand stuff

a cherry icee could fix me

https://t.co/J9u4gjyjZ7

https://t.co/L4vg7Evx3z

the wonder pets

how it feels wishing death upon others

fuck you

It’s been 7 years and I still don’t understand why it did that. 😭