doctor worm
@awaitingtrial
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so the train wasn’t actually coming toward us it was just a series of pictures played in rapid succession to produce the illusi
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I never thought I’d see the day, but they’ve done it. They’ve banned chillin
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CTE is a liberal myth designed to prevent boys from having fun
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If I were a medieval lord I would keep this man as my jester but in mere weeks he would become my most trusted advisor
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Big Trouble In Little China is exactly what Trump would call the Vietnam War
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My friend spotted one of the greatest minds of our generation at Starbucks
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Mein Fuhrer…a Hellcat steering wheel on her snap story
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The safety video you have to watch before playing laser tag:
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Y’all not smoking loud it’s All Quiet on the western blunt
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I wouldn’t tell anybody i won the lottery but there will be hints
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i don’t care if you fought in Vietnam, this seat is for my backpack
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Drinking in the EXACT bar that I was forcibly removed from the previous night
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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
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*pointing at child with the facial structure of a stingray* That’s my daughter Sangria
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when your homie relapses and now you’re the 2nd best rapper in the halfway house >>>>
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Day 14 in the cave, I’m beginning to feel more animal than man. Still haven’t found who asked
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When you’re going sin for sin with a real coveter and they bring out their neighbors wife:
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{Devious Eunuch Chat}
GeldedSenator97: Hatching a fresh plot against my constituents
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SnipAdvisor: just heard the King has fallen gravely ill 🤭 Seems like natural causes
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LanceArmstrong: left
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Holy shit the Andrew Callaghan accusations are actually really bad
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*First date voice* my cousin has a key that works on every gas station bathroom. He showed me
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