The more illiterate the plug the better the product.

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RT @hourly_shitpost:

It should be legal to hit and kill cyclists on windy back roads.

RT @lachancenaomi27:

Gender is not a drug what would I even be looking for.

Doctor got mad earlier because I told him I can't tell if a urine sample came from a man or a woman. What exactly they think we do here I have no idea, took everything in me to not say "you wanna know that bad, just watch them pee?".

Ashes to ashes dust to dust I say as I scatter Tylenol 3s in the mallinckrodt parking lot.

Steady getting bigger

Little Mexican kid keeps coming messing with my fire, mom speaks no English but keeps giving me beers so we're good

I have my hammock tied around my waist like a diaper but my choices are crazy lady wearing a hammock or crazy lady with her whole ass out.

I'm at the lake and just ripped the whole back length of my shorts right up the crack.

"I can't I got my kid" real men serve with a baby on their hip.

Just got off a call with a very difficult doctor about a sample, she wanted to know all kinds of in depth questions, shit way above my pay grade and at one point I just guessing. Looked it up after and I was right about it all

First bowfin it's been a good few days

Sometimes I go too many years back in my Spotify likes and cry til I throw up.

Economy so bad the 27 club became the 22 club.

RT @user0000O0: what substance do i have to abuse to survive another month.

I'm going to be on my fourth day in a row with getting less than 4 hours a sleep a night man wtfff.

RT @conzmoleman:

RT @DeanoGorton: 😂😂😂😂😂The Hat 😂😂😂😂