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@ange1mtz
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turned that shit off once u left
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til their stomachs cave in like a caprisun
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buying gym clothes doesn’t motivate me to workout anymore someone come break my heart
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oomf said “I feel like u look tall but ur short” what if I was suicidal
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ik my manager is gonna be mad af when he wakes up to my letter of resignation
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this mf at gym asked me to spot his 225lb bench when i’ve seen him hit 315lb??? like if u wanna kiss just say that
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my manager said I have really nice legs and defined quads, might have to slut myself out for an asst. manager position
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pushing a costco cart full of alcohol and the bitches w formula giving me a look
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my gym crush needs to stop asking me how many sets I have left and ask for my my number
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thought someone from the gym left their number on my windshield… turns out someone hit my car 😭
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walked out the sauna and why are my underwear lowkey see through 🧍♀️
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yall plzzz sub to oomfs OF him and his cats on the verge of being homeless
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I was going to choke this foo with my tongue for tipping me $100 on a $35 bill
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caught my gym crush working out w/ someone else, is this what getting cheated on feels like
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I find it mad disrespectful when exams aren’t based off of lecture notes
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this mf at the gym is watching me hip thrust like do you wanna hop on or …
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the cashier really scanned the bottle of Nair and asked me if I was shopping for my girlfriend
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y’all need to start eating at home these drive thru lines are getting long
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not this group of high schoolers hyping me up and asking if they can join my chest workout
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went to HomeDepot and changed a lightbulb so if you see me wearing Carhartt you know why
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you wear shorts on an overcast day and all of a sudden you’re a whore 🧍♀️
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busted a whole ass mission from monterey to fresno to pick up my new car
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my dad finally saw my supra and why did he say it was too much car for me 😭
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accidentally hit my dog while jumping rope… i deserve the death penalty
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my 2yr old niece told me she loves me and licked me on the cheek... a reminder to keep using contraceptives
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me having all 4…
If you’re a man and you:
have a Costco membership? Slut. Have a cat? Slut. Owns a plant? Slut. Has multiple candles? Slut.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
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how are you going to ask if the food on our cinco de mayo menu is authentic… you literally came to a victorian style restaurant in Pacific Grove
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professors have you waiting for your final grades like they’re STD results
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now why did i think it was a good idea to schedule an interview in OC and SD on the same day
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oomf saying im not the type he’d marry but the type he’d cheat on his husband with 😭
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and these are the ppl i call sisters?
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my table asked for an extra glass and pulled out a buzzball… it’s 8 in the morning
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so you’re telling me if i dance with a colorful wig on i’ll be TikTok famous
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after listening to charli xcx’s boiler room set i think it might be a brat summer after all
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