Schadenfreudelish
@aggierican
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Gobbledegook is doubleplus ungood. Stoichiometric. Unique taco. Undiluted joy. Chanclish expert. The capybara of hostesses. ░C░H░A░N░C░L░A░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Joined August 2014
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Pinned Tweet
The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”
She replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”
That was when I realized I had left my phone on Airplane mode.
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@Schneider_CM
I'm old enough to remember when archaeology was the study of ancient cultures, not the study of how to impose our beliefs on their remains.
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He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.
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In honor of
#Deadspin
's final throes, I present to you the OG, Senator Ted Cruz, in a story in four parts.
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@redsteeze
Media: We are much tougher on Biden than we were on Trump!!
Also Media: We need to help Biden rebrand these crises, stat!!
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So, I did a thing. 🎃👻💀🦇
Before and after of a dollhouse found at Goodwill.
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@townhallcom
First, how dare she assume the crash dummies' gender??
Second, and more importantly, will these dummies be in the driver's seat?
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@JRubinBlogger
Can you imagine a writer acting like a 12 year old, and writing like a five year old?
Thanks to you, I don't have to imagine.
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I don't always paint a solid furniture piece. This Lane Brutalist series endtable was covered in latex paint. I stripped it, down to using toothpicks in the corners to remove the paint and old varnish, then conditioned, stained, and sealed it.
The things we do for love. 😉
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@washingtonpost
I didn't think your sewage trappings could go any lower, but here we are.
You'll try to backtrack this, but you will fail. No one will forget.
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@jmartNYT
So either the White House has absolutely no control over the FBI, or they are lying.
I'm leaning towards the latter.
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Someone needs to invent a smoke alarm that shuts off when you yell, "I'M COOKING!!!"
There's a market for this.
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@CasuallyGreg
Because it has been the norm for hundreds of thousands of years, it must now be destroyed so as to make *those who can't lactate* feel good.
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@kportermagee
Makes one wonder what the district and the teachers are afraid of revealing, doesn't it?
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Not sure which is worse: the attack on your enterprise, or that you think your progressive status would shield you.
I’m devastated. We are a progressive newspaper. Last night I was inside when the first brick was thrown
#Raleigh
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EVERYONE MUST HAVE A VACCINE ID!!!
VOTER ID IS RAYCISS!!!
Same people.
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At the risk of getting yelled at for painting an antique, the first pic does little to capture the extent of the damage. The second pic is the blending of three colors. Paint and gild were necessary to bring out detailing.
And this piece is all mine 😉
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I think Harvard has a twenty year window of regret.
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If you're going to fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark.
And brother, it's starting to rain.
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Truly perplexing how people are allowed to protest Independence Day, but not allowed to celebrate it.
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@JodieHMoss
@RBReich
@GoyaFoods
A bit of googling can show you just how much Goya Foods helps communities not just here in the US, but also in other parts of the world, including my home of Puerto Rico.
If you cared about the employees, you would have done your homework before trying to cancel their CEO.
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"If they (Twitter) continue along this path, it's going to be nothing but two feminists screaming at each other because one of them suddenly found a boyfriend."
---Jesse Kelly
#FreeJesseKelly
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@seventeen
If you needed this today, you need to reevaluate your life. And possibly your place of employment. Glitter is hell on skin and paying bills with singles gets cumbersome.
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