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@abolishcxps

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8,203
Following
193
Media
1,564
Statuses
14,367

the bill simmons of austin tx

Joined March 2012
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@abolishcxps
11 months
i’m more oppressed as a red sox fan than i am as a woman of color
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@abolishcxps
25 days
the hottest thing a man can do is have a constant stream of random information and facts to share with you on any incidental subject
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@abolishcxps
2 years
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@abolishcxps
3 months
Dune 2? yeah i’m Dune 2 beers
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@abolishcxps
8 days
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@abolishcxps
1 year
oh noooo this guy isn’t attracted to me 💔💔💔
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@dennismc17
szeretem a szalonnát
1 year
@abolishcxps Lol, clearly you haven't seen my face posted on my profile, nor my shirtless pic. But please continue.
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@abolishcxps
5 months
i’ve left recent movies like barbie, saltburn, glass onion, menu, don’t look up etc thinking ‘wow do these directors think we’re idiots??’ and then i see the general public’s discourse around it and i’m like, oh maybe i’m underestimating how stupid people are
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@abolishcxps
7 years
Yeah rt if you’re from Texas and you still wanna see better gun laws
@TomiLahren
Tomi Lahren
7 years
If you think it’s wise to lecture Texans on gun laws, I’m guessing you haven’t spent much time in Texas.
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@abolishcxps
7 months
just convinced my dive bar to get nba league pass for me
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@abolishcxps
2 months
not over curb ending tonight,,, my entire family still says ‘thank you larry’ in this exact tone to each other all the time
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@abolishcxps
4 months
not watching a single white woman’s instagram story for the next 24 hours i need peace
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@abolishcxps
3 months
?
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@abolishcxps
9 days
the wfm home friend that’s already rewatched dune part two by 10 am on a tuesday morning
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@abolishcxps
2 months
@MattGaetzPress
Matt Gaetz Press Release (kidding)
2 months
Elon Musk should buy an MLB team just so he can sign Trevor Bauer and annoy all of Reddit
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@abolishcxps
3 months
democrats in office when they see any protesters
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@abolishcxps
2 years
something funny happened while i was off of twitter
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@abolishcxps
5 years
hot girl summer
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@abolishcxps
5 months
Derrick White implies the existence of Derrick Black and Derrick Chinese
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@abolishcxps
2 months
if your tv looks like this you’re gay
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@abolishcxps
2 months
talk ur shit stephen a smith
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@abolishcxps
2 months
@ShamsCharania
Shams Charania
2 months
Milwaukee Bucks star Giannis Antetokounmpo (hamstring) is out tonight vs. Boston Celtics, sources tell @TheAthletic @Stadium .
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@abolishcxps
2 months
Booktwt girlies I need your help !!! What’s the uh ✨spice✨level of this book?? And is it enemies to lovers or slow burn friendship?? 🥰
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@abolishcxps
1 year
@dennismc17 oh noooo a guy with an nft profile pic isn’t attracted to me 💔💔💔
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@abolishcxps
3 months
jayson tatum’s financial literacy program really works,, i just saved $276
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@abolishcxps
3 months
this video really gets funnier every day
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@abolishcxps
1 month
my friend went to school with Ant and said he was always walking around campus with his arms around two different girls at all times
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@abolishcxps
3 months
?
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@abolishcxps
6 months
finding my husband in the live comments on Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon
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@abolishcxps
1 year
‘the adam friedland show is racist’ uhm okay then explain this
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@abolishcxps
11 days
naz reid game
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@abolishcxps
3 months
fanatics
@socialiststeve6
Steven Cotterill
3 months
What's the largest terrorist organization in the world?
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@abolishcxps
2 months
nothing is more irish than an indian girl who hates the british
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@abolishcxps
5 months
bill simmons on an instagram story just called blueberry bagels a ‘top 28 food items’
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@abolishcxps
2 years
at this rate this lineup is gonna drop in a few days too
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@abolishcxps
1 year
post break up glow up is so real… i have been hit on a confounding amount of times in the past two weeks
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@abolishcxps
3 months
Salma Hayek is adorable, and tbh it’s really awesome to have an A list celebrity who does share your body type she is also my style icon 🫶🏼
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@abolishcxps
1 year
@chormp_ sounds normal and healthy
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@abolishcxps
24 days
snail mail and phoebe bridgers should’ve made diss tracks while they were beefing and out being fake bi or whatever
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@abolishcxps
1 year
@N7_Phillips trying so hard to keep it together
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@abolishcxps
2 years
@dklmarxist the most bleak place on the internet is the fb group ‘wives of gamers support group’ it’s women complaining about their husbands who don’t have jobs, don’t help around the house, and don’t have sex with them,,, they just game all day lol. i’m obsessed with it
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@abolishcxps
2 years
@dklmarxist this is just a few 😭
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@abolishcxps
4 months
wearing the silliest fit at the game tonight btw
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@abolishcxps
1 month
come and take it
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@abolishcxps
5 months
no one at this bar knows timberwolves brazil just replied to me
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@abolishcxps
26 days
drake stronger than me, i would’ve killed myself by now
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@abolishcxps
11 months
lebron james was supposed to be on that submarine but he got off at the last second bc had a feeling something would go wrong
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@abolishcxps
6 months
hamas has tunnels under yankee stadium @JoeBiden
@PodOnLansdowne
Pod On Lansdowne
6 months
We're putting together a team
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@abolishcxps
5 months
‘heat culture’ is grooming
@2Cool2Blog
2Cool2Blog
5 months
Erik Spoelstra’s ex wife responds to someone saying she fumbled the bag after erik signed a historic contract 2 months after their divorce was announced
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@abolishcxps
1 month
the zone of interest (2023)
@RyanChandlerTV
Ryan Chandler
1 month
Chaos in the background, and then there’s this guy sunbathing with a book
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@abolishcxps
3 months
when i got biryani,, who is felv+,, i was told he wouldn’t live past 1.5 years old. today he turns FOUR 🫶 truly believe he is so loved by everyone who knows him that he’s going to live forever
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@abolishcxps
8 days
“that’s a saturday” idgaf i’m an adult with a full time job it’s just a dumb post
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@abolishcxps
1 year
is it an unethical power imbalance to date a reply guy
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@abolishcxps
3 years
@thirstbicth Today is the only day you can retweet this
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@abolishcxps
3 months
need sxsw to end. was chatting to a homeless guy i recognized/ asking him if he wanted any food and some random guy came up to us and asked me if i was okay and if he was bothering me,,, if you’re afraid of being in a city,, leave !!!!
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@abolishcxps
5 months
@euronatiii now where did i say that
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@abolishcxps
4 months
he’s still got it
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@abolishcxps
2 months
a year ago today i was at dinner with my ex bf bc he didn’t want to watch the WBC anywhere. and we ate in silence while i watched on my phone and then broke up a week later
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@veeutiful__
pao
2 months
I cringe every time a man tell me he’s not into sports
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@abolishcxps
2 months
ryen russillo is out there somewhere watching clippers jazz instead of iowa uconn rn lmfao
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@abolishcxps
24 days
pls i was drunk and h*rny last night stop dming me facts
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@abolishcxps
29 days
they literally can’t,,, bc every university in Gaza has been destroyed.
@laurenboebert
Lauren Boebert
29 days
I get a strange inkling that all these Columbia and UCLA students running around yelling “Free Palestine” would not be jumping at the opportunity to do a semester abroad in Gaza.
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@abolishcxps
14 days
You’re a beautiful girl with a kind heart and you have a bright future ahead of you. You don’t need to listen to Red Scare.
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@abolishcxps
4 years
@ZaraRahim some of y’all first thoughts went straight to performative rituals and idpol and ignored the evil she’s wrecked on working class black ppl and i’m not gonna forget
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@abolishcxps
2 months
can’t believe this is the first year a woman has been talented at sports
@choc
choc
2 months
Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese are perfect examples that when the talent is good enough, men are absolutely willing to support women’s sports.
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@abolishcxps
4 months
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@fiImgal
bethany
4 months
god bless the people who make extremely niche letterboxd lists idk what i’d do without you
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@abolishcxps
24 days
dudes just a shitty bootlicking take generator
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@JonesOnTheNBA
Nate Jones
24 days
A tiny region so far away from here causing unrest with our young adults is wild
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@abolishcxps
5 months
guy at this bar telling me he just quit his tech job to move to austin bc he thinks he can make a movie in the next year
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@abolishcxps
2 months
there will never be another girl like me (dark hair, bangs, nose ring, top artist every year is angel olsen)
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@abolishcxps
5 months
buzzer beater
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@taynextdoor
tay.
6 months
it's the last month of the year, quote with your favorite pictures of yourself this year.
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@abolishcxps
6 months
True Detective Season 1 is so good i wish Louisiana was real
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@abolishcxps
3 months
that one girl who doesn’t play around about her mountain brews or camp dinner
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@abolishcxps
7 years
South Padre vs. Houston Rodeo vs. Trump's inauguration
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@abolishcxps
10 months
i once told a guy i was indian and his response was ‘oh i love IPAs’
@Tripolar_B
Never break kayfabe
10 months
You ever had a racist experience but it was funny tho
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@abolishcxps
5 months
now that it’s been 24 hrs: we are so cooked as a generation if every call for higher standards or some sort of effort is met with ‘let people enjoy things’ lol
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@abolishcxps
1 year
Succession is fascist, Barry is fascist neo-feudal dreck, Last fm chart obsession is fascist, Sports are fascist, Podcasts are generally fascist, Stand up is fascist, OF is fascist. ‘Stanning’ under a power imbalance is inherently fascistic. Sorry to spoil your 'fun'.
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@abolishcxps
7 months
hamas just asked me to run their barstool affiliate podcast
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@abolishcxps
1 month
Hardest working. Best conditioned. Most professional. Unselfish. Toughest. Meanest. Nastiest bachelorette party.
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@abolishcxps
3 months
i love asking guys i’m on a date with questions like they’re stephen a smith,,, ‘what’re your starting 5 vegetables’ ‘which boston movie are you building a team around’
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@abolishcxps
8 days
@nthoknee sorry i don’t have the calendar memorized nerd
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@abolishcxps
2 years
@deliclit turn it into an nft
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@abolishcxps
18 days
you’re being blown out by 30 by the pacers
@JakeBrownRadio
Jake Brown
22 days
“WE WANT BOSTON!” chants outside MSG 👀 Knicks are 2 wins from the Celtics.
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@abolishcxps
2 years
my only political stance is that no drink at a bar should ever cost more than whatever that city’s minimum wage is
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@abolishcxps
10 months
we need a slur for white nba fans
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@abolishcxps
3 years
@demi_burnett should’ve gotten a pr person to tell you not to wear this jacket.
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@abolishcxps
4 years
@chuuzus stream fine line by harry styles
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@abolishcxps
3 months
@Viggie_Smalls93 so you hate indian women ?
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@abolishcxps
3 months
this makes me cry… there is so much horror and evil in the world. but there is also so much love and solidarity and revolutionary optimism
@lanananas_
Lana 🍉
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He donated $17 and is re entering with 50k from community love and support
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@abolishcxps
11 months
got suspended for a week for threatening to kill myswlf on brad stevens lawn… but it’s fine bc i was on vacation anyway <3
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@abolishcxps
1 year
@AdamFriedland when two queens get together to maximize their joint slay
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@abolishcxps
9 days
if any other country had a ‘Tony Brothers’ we’d call them fascist
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@abolishcxps
1 month
@b00ch thanks for sharing
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@abolishcxps
2 years
to all the people who want me to dm him for the bit…. no❤️
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@abolishcxps
5 months
@Lidre_21 i love them :) which is why i think we deserve better
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@abolishcxps
2 months
we need gulags for people like this
@JudeFlingo
Jude Flingerman (Profound Autist)
2 months
I should probably go to bed.
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@abolishcxps
1 year
@powerfulfather treating his most recent tweet where he’s asking if he should ‘post cock’ as a violent threat
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@abolishcxps
3 months
(bene gesserit voice)
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@abolishcxps
2 months
i was born in the wrong generation. i would’ve made a beautiful blockbuster employee that everyone asks for cool recs
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@abolishcxps
1 year
me and my friends would’ve attacked the ‘women posting L’s guy’ with hammers i can tell you that much
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@abolishcxps
1 month
this is why i can never get on a dating app. what am i going to say? …. i go crazy bill simmons and cumtown ??
@TW1NKD3STR0YER
jean genet besserit
2 months
i WILL get a boyfriend before april ends
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@abolishcxps
13 days
yorgos lanthimos is quickly usurping giannis antetokounmpo and stavros halkias as america’s favorite Greek Guy
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@abolishcxps
5 months
omg acting like i’m some kind of high brow snob/ ‘filmcel’ is crazy
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