I am pleased to announce that I’ve decided to go net-zero on swear words and bad language. In the event that I should say something inappropriate I pledge to compensate that by saying something nice. #COP26

I’m waiting until the pumpkin spice Ivermectin is available.

Wtf. Of course we don’t want clean energy. That would silly. Clean air? Cheaper power? That sounds dumb.

My stepfather Rudy Giuliani had his law license suspended today because AMERICA HATES THE TRUTH

For thousands of years, these forests have housed species, stabilized our climate, and been the traditional First Nation lands. Today, less than 3% BC’s large-tree old growth forests remain. It’s time to defend these giants. #BCgov #BCpoli #protectthesacred @jjhorgan @bcndp

BREAKING: I am calling on Warren Buffet to sell his $2.5b investment in Chevron to protest the company's decimation of Indigenous groups in Ecuador. Call Buffet and urge a sale of Chevron: 402-346-1400

In Maine, we have no voter ID laws, we have same day registration, we have no-excuse absentee voting, we have mail-in voting, we have early voting, we have 24/7 drop boxes. And we have virtually no fraud. Expanding ballot access doesn't encourage fraud; it encourages VOTING.

Oops you caught us, yes, this was us activists all along haha the coal & climate policies of @StanChart are all a big joke so the #CleanUpStandardChartered campaign decided to pull a bigger joke on them. But really, all we did was tell the truth & what actually needs to be done.

My god—over 25,000 drums of@toxic waste found dumped on the ocean floor off coast of California. The number of drums laced with the pesticide DDT far exceeded expectations. “It was hard to wrap my head around the density”. And they are likely leaking. 🧵 https://t.co/LgBBuF094o

Thank you @iSmashFizzle this took me a few tries to get through. Beauty and pain. Somehow they share. Losing and gaining both enlighten. Joy and sorrow. Deep, true, open. Thank you.

Can't even load basic websites today. @coxcomm says "We do not currently have an estimated time of resolution. Our Field Engineers will continue to work diligently in order to find a solution to this issue." We're ready for @googlefiber

Just a reminder that, before today, only one Senator had ever voted to convict a President from his own party (Romney, 374 days ago).

We stand with science – and so should the government. https://t.co/Nv0l2Mh2xI

Salla, the self-proclaimed coldest town in Finnish Lapland, wants to draw attention to climate change by announcing that it will bid to host 2032 Summer Olympics https://t.co/YemMWU8oEc

We have no time to waste when it comes to tackling the threat of climate change. That’s why today, I’ll be taking action to address the climate crisis with the urgency science demands.

My favorite part of today’s ceremony, besides of course the whole transition of power part.

Ahhh. Something calming.

My message to my fellow Americans and friends around the world following this week's attack on the Capitol.

Imagine what he would be tweeting right now