Me: Hey, I wanna get better at running Shin: No you don't Me: Wait, what? Why? Shin: *Splints* Knee: *Pains* Me: I hate you both

Went to watch the winter olympics, only to find that @nbc felt that SIX HOURS of super bowl pregame were necessary -- so there's no olympic coverage this afternoon

This is what happens when you oversaturate the market with your music after alienating your fans by locking yourself down to a single streaming platform @garthbrooks

Who... Was this remix designed for? Usually I can find something I like better about a remix even if I don't prefer it over the original -- but this is a digi-nightmare to me #LoveMeAgain @JohnNewmanMusic

Products such as (like I bought today) parmesan chips or ridiculous amounts of dairy. This time I'm also going to try and stay away from processed meats like pepperoni or lunch meats.

But as soon as I decide to buy something and bring it into my house, it's gone. Since on Keto I have *no* room for those kinds of carbs, I can easily keep myself from buying those high-carb items. My main struggle while doing keto is avoiding the urge to lean on replacement...

I'm going back to keto. I've tried to just do a carb & calorie conscious kind of deal, but it always ends up with me making exceptions for chips or chocolate and just demolishing the entire package. I've always been someone who can refuse to buy something tasty at the store,...

This cartoon I made offers a rough outline of my recent political "journey" that I've been on while standing completely still.

Well, I tried to use @MyFitnessPal 's "Scan your meal" option on a slow network connection and ended up hitting the submit button a few times since there was no indication that my click was received. I have now apparently consumed 10k calories in one sitting.

When I was in Minneapolis, I heard a number of crazy stories. But near the top of the list: A couple of off duty ICE and CBP officers were going to dinner in Minneapolis. They were doxed and their location revealed, and the restaurant was then mobbed. The officers were locked in

Darry the 2004 Dakota, now featuring a touch screen radio and a backup camera Also was listening to @MikhailaFuller 's JRE while I was recording this. I had heard her story from her dad's podcasts, but finally got around to listening to it myself.

Just noticed today that I recognized the voice of the mayor in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs as the one and only @GroovyBruce ! I couldn't tell it was him until he was coming up with a devious food plan and it brought me back to mojitos on Burn Notice

The reason this is becoming rare as a point of life advice is that the online world is selecting against good life advice that looks 'lame'. And a lot of having a good life makes for 'lame' posts. Let's be honest about that. 'Dope' makes better 'content'. Visiting your aunt in

A couple of weekends ago, I made some of the best round steak that I've ever had, but I did it by combining several new tenderization tactics so I don't know which one(s) had the most effect. Tenderizing hammer + searing in oil resulted in a 5/10 tenderness. Next, Ill add milk.

When will I learn to avoid disturbing the dark arts of 55 year old plumbing? A simple task of replacing my tub drain with a nice touch-toe one turned into $120 in Lowes parts over 5 runs, a semi-leaky tub drain, and needing to replace a laundry room valve that decided to leak

White Monster really is the pinnacle of sugar-free energy drinks

my guy sold his kids for a lunch 😭

🚨 HOLY CRAP. JD VANCE IS LIVID! "Everybody repeating the lie this is some innocent woman out for a drive in MN - YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU." "What that headline leaves out is the fact that that very ICE officer nearly had his life ENDED,

One thing that I missed in Divergent when I was reading it for the first time is that the factions were formed because they *blamed their complement* for causing society to crumble. That made me wonder: "What would I say is the #1 attribute that tears apart society?"

Powerful words