🦝 uooɔɔɐᴚ ˙∀
@_eat_pray_lift_
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Butterface | Bacon | Barbells | Coffee | Raccoons
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Pinned Tweet
Hear me out: An OnlyFans, but I berate you until you go to the gym.
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Well I managed to make it through another year without dying. This is 47. 😁💅🎂
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So I’m taking my daughter to her first concert tonight, and I’m trying to decide what to wear. I need to strike a delicate balance between “cool mom” and “try-hard old lady.” I think this works. 🤔
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Alright, this is the closest I can get to thirst trap. Am I doing it right?
Thirst traps are pornographic in their very nature.
Why are you posting it?
Who are you posting it for?
What do you expect from posting it?
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Y’all, I have a job interview tomorrow. It’s just a cashier position, to bring in some $ until I get a personal trainer gig at a gym. I’ve not interviewed for anything in 18 years. But I’m gonna hold my head up high and go sit amongst the teenagers vying for the same position. 😂
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How many serial killers do you suppose are active users on Twitter? 🤔
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@LegendaryEnergy
I still don't get why he's at the forefront of the vaccine discussion. Whether he's funding it or not, it's weird.
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Flex Friday on a Saturday. Because I can do that.
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Don’t be jealous of my exciting Friday night plans. 💅
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I’m 47 (48 on 5/3)
Divorced.
Blessed.
CONSERVATIVE.
Mother of 2 amazing kids.
I hate trends.
Success in progress.
Do you find this attractive?
I’m 41 (42 on 4/23).
Single.
Fulfilled.
BOLD LIB.
Child-free.
Trendsetter.
Wildly successful.
Do you find this attractive?
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Reclaiming my good mood. Not entertaining any more bullshit today. Let’s have fun. Happy hump day. 🍑
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Nearly 1k likes on my topless pic and I didn't even show boobs. 🤔
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Heading out for my belated bday dinner with my two favorite people. About to eat all the steak and be comfy doing it. We fancy.
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@ElijahSchaffer
Dude making sure his plate is clean before another dude serves him with his bare hands.
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Men’s guide to getting along with women on the internet
1. Tell her to smile
2. DM her
3. Continue to DM her even though she’s never answered your previous DM’s
4. Call her names like Sweetheart or Sexy even though you have no rapport
5. Assume she needs your words of wisdom
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Y’all. I’m gonna be out of the house today and away from Twitter most of the time, so I’m gonna need you to behave yourselves. ❤️
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Good morning to everyone who wanted to see my front.
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You must establish dominance on your first day in a different state.
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Cut is nearly complete. Now I just need a tan. And no, no feet pics for you heathens. 😁
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Good morning. Getting on the road for home in a couple hours. ☀️🚗🧳
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Idk what almost 48 is supposed to look like… but I’m it.
Idk what 57 is supposed to look like… but I’m it.
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Let’s see y’all at 19
Best I can do is 17, senior year.
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Who wants bacon? It’s not my best work but it’ll do. 🥓😍
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Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried doing leg day on a 100+ degree day in an un-air conditioned garage? (Btw, the forward lean is for maximum glute recruitment, for those who can’t help themselves.)
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A post-workout Friday flex. Please excuse the rough appearance as lots of hard work was put in this week. 💪
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Training from yesterday. Nothing to write home about, but I got some work done.
Box squats
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Closing Friday out with one final flex. I hope y’all have a fantastic weekend! 🌙🛏️🦝
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Flex Friday brought to you by an insane leg day pump.
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At this point I feel like we all collectively hallucinated this woman.
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A Happy 4th Flex. Headed out for food, fun, and fireworks. Y’all have a great night! 🇺🇸❤️
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No bikini pics today. Y’all hit me up on National Ripped Jeans Day. I got that one covered.
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Good morning. Do you know where a dumb girl can go to get some advice around here?
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I’m training chest and triceps today but the biceps are trying to steal the show. They’re just popping today. 💪
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Happy Flex Friday. Capped off the week with an upper body workout today. My week off did a lot of good. I came back rested, stronger, and ready to GROW.
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Getting on the road to Florida. Please pray for the other drivers. Pray they get the fuck out of my way.
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Showing these weights no mercy today. Have you been to the gym yet?
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How tall are you in real life?
I’m 6’4” on the internet and 5’8” irl.
How tall are you in real life?
I'm 5'4" but thought I was 5'3" for a long time.. I have long legs for a short so I seem taller I guess.
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A Friday Flex after my final workout before an 8-day vacay/deload. Just because I’ll be out of the gym doesn’t mean I won’t be checking up on you guys. 👀
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Thank you for all the well wishes! To answer the most-asked question (I can't respond to everyone though I try), it's a position at a grocery store where I used to work shopping curbside orders. It pays more than when I left there and it's an independent position. Works for me!
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When a picture of my foot gets more likes than a picture of my ass. Twitter, you are a bunch of fucking freaks, I swear.
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I’m out in the world on this fine Saturday. Please clap.
Hope you guys are enjoying your day!
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Showing the triceps some love this flex Friday after all the hard work they put in this week. TGIF 💪
(I don’t know how to do the proper pose 😁)
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It was a push-up palooza in the gym today.
Decline push-ups
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Good morning! It’s a day off from lifting so of course I’m reviewing lifting videos. I remember when I couldn’t even do one of these. I eat, sleep, and breathe this life, and it rewards me in many ways. Hope y’all have a fantastic Saturday! 😘
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Sup, y’all. Interview was kinda meh. Was a group interview and just couldn’t read the managers very well. Will have to wait and see if I get a one-on-one. I’m glad I did it though! Thank you for all the support, you have no idea how much it means! ❤️
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Is this true? 🤔
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It was a good day in the gym. Upper body is pumped and toasty. 💪
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Lift heavy things ✅
Eat protein ✅
Soak up sun ✅
= Profit 🤑
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I made the mistake of liking one tweet. It’s like we’re engaged now.
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Good morning. I’m declaring this The Year of the Calves. I’m commanding these bitches to grow, and I’ll be assaulting them every which way possible.
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I think my wiener schnitzel just moved.
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Wrapping up this Friday with a flex. 💪
Good night, y’all! 🌙🛏️🦝
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Every day I gravitate closer to the idea of never dating again. And I am more than ok with that. There’s something peaceful about it.
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