el jefè
@_ayyjefferson
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i tweet therefore I am. Arsenal, finance & philosophy in that order 🤞🏾Love & Luxury
Joined April 2014
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Somebody get her some Capri-sun on the rocks. She’s been through it
this picture of this little girl before and after school has me howling 😭
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When she trynna be all cute after annoying me
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That egg looking like it’s about to be sacrificed
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Not an ounce of vegetables in your diet but it’s 5G that’s worrying you? It is well
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They said nah check again lmao these lot are relentless
Is Coronavirus being accurately measured in Africa?😂😂😂
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Wait, I thought it was immigrants taking advantage of the NHS? lmao
'Before I knew it, I had an appointment to see a surgeon within four weeks'.
Carla Bellucci says she faked depression to get a £7,000 nose job on the NHS
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If you haven’t got your ticket to Ghana for December. I’ll be leaving in 3 days. Bring a packed lunch
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Every year they look more off beat
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Girls are too lazy man. How you gonna climb up two flights of stairs and be huffing and puffing like you just ran a marathon? Lmao you big bad wolf.
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Lmao I’ve never seen such an aggressive way of holding a glass
So today I learnt how to hold them cups that look like this
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“Do you think my dad would choose you over my mum? Looooooooool well EVIDENTLY !
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Imagine your babe hiding your identity like you’re on bbc panorama
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It’s definitely GCSE season for that kid
A driver who was caught jumping a set of red traffic lights in
#Ewell
, almost hitting a 14 year old pedestrian, has been sentenced.
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If the snake had tempted Eve with this rice we’d all still be in the Garden of Eden
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Looking like them Evian baby adverts
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📍Women
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📍Detailed healthy |
Explanation on |
What’s wrong |
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📍”it’s fine.”
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You people with ear pods if two people come and grab them off your ears and ran in opposite directions, who are you chasing to get it back??
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I was minding my business and this is what my girl sent me. 😤
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Ive never seen such violent looking fried rice
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This is what they trynna tell us Cleopatra looked like
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Try the walk from London Victoria train station to the coach station. Shit is longer than the River Nile
The walk from the Victoria line to the Piccadilly line at Green park is the longest.
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He a better man than me I’d start howling and barking
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You lot were excited for captain marvel but forget that God is the captain of all things Marvellous
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This British weather will accelerate the winter bae project by 75% expect an unsteady decline of “men are trash” tweets with a chance of “I want cuddles” showered across the TL. Back to you in the studio...
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Lockdown bout to bring a whole new meaning to the talking stage. You’ll talk till thy kingdom comes
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📍Women
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📍”I just think it’s funny how”
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How many cocktails are you lot drinking?? By my 3rd glass I’m smiling like an idiot and just start laughing
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First of all, no one drinks from a mug with their eyes open
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Fam I start doing the uzi shoulder dance when I’m about to ft her.😭
I’m defo a bad bitch
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Me:
Ticket inspector:
Me:
Ticket inspector: This is a child ticket.
Me:
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The day Chris Brown grabs hold of the shaku shaku you’re all finished, the sauce he’ll drop into it only I’ll be able to comprehend.
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Since I got my MacBook I don’t remember when I turned it off. Straight close the lid and go
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A girls walk actually adds to her sex appeal but some of you walk like butchers with a skeng. No elegance.
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Come and see what the confusion is doing to someone’s English
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People working in the city wear expensive suites and still take the train some of them even ride scooters, so this is definitely nothing.
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Will I survive uni? Will it kill me before my time ? Wil my enemies rest? Maybe I’ll survive. Maybe it’s maybellline.
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Black boys
📍
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📍cheating. |
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📍Faithfulness
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You can never do nice spontaneous shit for stubborn girls. How can I tell this girl to get ready and she’s asking why? WHY?! If I just-
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If you ask me this on a date I will leave you with the bill and the calamari in my mouth
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“You got the right bitch to put you in the wrong motherfucking place” lmao how poetic
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For as long as I’ve lived nothing prepared me for whatever tf this was
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“My uncle had a vision” is what I’m telling anyone who invites me somewhere I don’t wanna be
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Holding him like a thief in Lagos market, goodness me
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“Ok Auntie, I’ll tell her you said hello”
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In this uk you’ll be hearing schlurp schlurp in the corner during the movie
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When she licking my balls then goes closer to my booty crack
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You ever been so angry you start doing domestic chores because it’s so therapeutic? I find myself folding clothes and washing dishes 😭
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So summer is coming to an end and no one has had a bbq? And you wonder why people are catching feelings, there’s nothing else to do 😭
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This is how you’ll end up in an Azerbaijan prison
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Bro this is reminding me when I went to a Lion Kings audition as a dancer. They are so cut throat. How can they be sending people home during the stretching ??? I made it to round 2 and they taped me on the shoulder and said thank you so much. I almost cried
all this for CH auditions? Imagine what they say to people in theatre production auditions 😩?
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Trying to challenge the traditional outdated views of an African parent is an extremely extreme sport.
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When I deep how much I like this girl I just want to die. What an opp
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When she realises she wrong but doesn’t wanna admit it
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How can shoes look like a double decker bus?
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Lmao that’s how you’ll both fall in love
When you think you’re taking her fi ediaat but she’s also taking you fi ediaat.
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Aunties in church when the pastor says “the Holy Spirit will move you”
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Some of you are Winter wonderland veterans. Different year different babes. When will you heal?
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I’m only here to remind you that you’re not going Winter wonderland.
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If you see me in this, pls just mind your business
Nike have reportedly received over three million orders for the new Nigeria jerseys
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Lool I used to think they were mad but it’s only in London where missing a train and waiting for 2mins will mean you’ll be late by ten mins... so me too I even bolt to the train
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When you just chilling in the womb and see one penis coming through
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