black pepper cracker
@__angoose
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certified fat fuck & world’s sturdiest man (he/him)
London, England
Joined March 2019
It must be so funny enjoying a Michelin star meal and watching a giant man come in and start dapping up everyone in sight.
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What the customers at work see when I come back after a week off.
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The entire plot of Shogun surmised in one tweet.
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4 packs of Greek baccy in my bag. 400 international cigs pending. Trip to Poland in a week. I know an oncologist hates to see me coming.
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Uber driver is absolutely gunning it tonight. He’s ripped two 59p energy drinks inside 10 minutes. Beast mode. Shaved 3 minutes off my eta already.
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Just discovered the first hole in this generation of boxer shorts. Cruel fate why must you inflict this financial burden on me now, in my time of greatest expenditure?.
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I post tweets I won’t remember for mutuals I’ll never forget.
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In a truly vindicating moment for me personally I’ve been immortalised on Google street view having a cig outside work. It’s all been leading up to this. Recognised as the professional ciggy enjoyer I am.
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The reality of being good at cooking is just knowing how long it actually takes to cook onions.
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Breaking new ground in the field of dudes rock as the guy at the off license has just called me “mr stone cold”.
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There’s an inherent and undeniable chicness to the district line.
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RT @AdolphusSpriggs: Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I asked them “Do you speak-a-my language?”….
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On a vibe many of you couldn’t bring yourselves to replicate
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