Hit-a-Lick-Larry
@__HeardEmSay
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You've tried everything but do not give up What you won't do, Do for Love ♥️
Joined September 2019
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Y'all who have good mothers aki be thankful. Mine is a devil. I love her but she will never meet my wife or kids. Definition of a satan. I wish she never gave birth to me. And I mean it
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Ukienda home straight saa hii I swear kesho utakuwa na extra 3-5k. Chorea chuom yeyote.
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I will forever listen to R Kelly. Whatever he did is between him and the Good Lord
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My mother hates me and wishes bad things for me. I understand but we survive. Hope the kid gets good friends but most importantly brothers that love him. My brothers help me so much. This is real. Some women dont deserve to be mothers.
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I was circumcised 12th dec 1995. If my dick older than you, Aki never troll me.
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That buttock scratching tweet was your downfall. Siwezi karibia penye uko.
Sasa nikama watu wa ground wamekataa kukula smokies na Mayai .
Ndugu zangu wa X this time I need most tafadhali mrudi .
We aren't making sales .😭
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My neighbor huko nax, wife with a few tenants in his plot walimshika n stabbed him mara ka thate. Then wakaosha blood na mop n never even ran. She told the police ni wezi yet it was her with two other tenants. She was having an affair with one.
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Since sponsors wamenyamaza, Aye
@osumo_brad
you will receive funds from myself to serve me one LARGE fish tomorrow. Contact me when I arrive
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@stephtaji
@NdindiK95
I was a lethal striker(soccer). Played for Nakuru junior teams (under 12,14,16). My dream was to play for harambe stars. I also rep nax n rift valley in the national essay contests. I love poetry. M dad slapped me & told me to focus on education. Now an accountant. I'm always sad
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I lost my brother yesterday and I can't think straight 😭
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@Osama_otero
@osoroKE
Kuna mwingine ka huyu niliingia DM a month ago. Later kupitia tweets zake nacheki march last year alikuwa anazusha vile game ya Strasbourg haijaingiia GG. Nilichoka aje 😂
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Ukipata mtoi si wako usishow wife, ingia sabina joy ushout unadai malaya ako na mtoto. Mlipe ya one month. Then mnaenda wote kwako. Introduce her as the second wife. Huyo wife atajitoa in a week na her last words 'you stupid man, sijui niliona nini kwako, hata huyu mtoto si wako'
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Mimi bibi akitaka kuniua aniue but I live by Bones (Best Friends of Detroit) quote "I know you'll come for me but make sure your first punch, first shot, first blow, counts coz if it doesn't, no devil u know, no demon you posses will stop me from snatching your fuckin throat out"
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Kama hujawahi unknowingly have lunch with the guy banging your girl then you don't know the meaning of betrayal. Later ukijua unajiuliza why she did upu dirty n u feel inadequate. You wonder if he really richer than you or got a big dick. The 2 things that make men insecure
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@_crazynairobian
@Osama_otero
LinkedIn. They post a job vacancy, you apply, they call, apparently they need to hire the same day coz a very critical employee resigned. They need your docs esp good conduct. They offer to process for you. You send them 3k. I was depressed n unemployed for long. I fell for this
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@RabbitTheKing
Me na boy wangu Hillary tulipitia huko imenti way back in 2011 ukatupea tales of kaka sungura for free 💪💪💪💪💪
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In your 20s ukipata pesa invest. Pension schemes, money market, sacco or atleast shika hata 1/8th mahali or acre ocha. Or nangoja zile pesa hukam ukiomoka at 31? Usikuwe mtu wa hand to mouth if you have the ability to save. I'm talking to men.
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@droid254
@Osama_otero
Deal was worth $1.5m but nugu zikadecide later on to agree a Kes 100m with Britam. Kenya huwa comedy
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@Kasungwa_
@Iqra_Lissa
That man is intelligent. He understands women should decide on such matters coz its their bodies. But honestly such statements come from guys that are against abortion. Most women get this wrong
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@donfettz
@_misplacedhuman
if i date you, no matter how busy my day was, i'm certain i'm gon get atleast 60 seconds from my tight schedule to call or text that one lady i love. let's stop this sounding woke shit on net
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@OsamaOtero
First love left me but I begged her to atleast let me see her new man. Was wondering why am I bn left. Tukafika galitos, I saw the guy, collapsed. My UON roommates came for me. They left me wit 2k upkeep money. Tukaingia tanager n drank the 2k while screaming bitches ain't shit
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Ni mimi pekee niko na stress? Like I'm genuinely not happy and moods ziko so low. And I don't know why. Like nimechoka na life but I ain't suicidal. Nothing excites me anymore
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@Okwonfree
I know another dj alifanyiwa vivi hivi. Akaambiwa aache kunywa maziwa ya mtoto. Strong tea ndio zake
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Me kitu hii ilinifunza ni hata ukuwe the best hubby, gaidi ni gaidi. Ukiimarry bibi mkorofi esp these housewives utalia. My father hupenda kunisho "housewives ni watu wabaya sana, usijaribu kuoa mtu lazy mwenye hapendi kujitafutia"
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Nimegonga glass ya maji ikamwagikia laptop. Sasa laptop imezima. Solution wadau?
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Yaani mzae alikuja Jana Nairobi akalala kwa siz akarudi bila kuniona. Sawa tu 😭
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My woman is my image. She has all my passwords mpaka za atm. That's why i know i am a certified Man coz i am not scared of shit. Plus it's not only trust but i know she wont do something stupid.
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usiwahi bonga shit about hustle ya msee yeyote publicly. with all the job cuts na economy vile inalemea biz, if u not helping just stfu
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Ushawahi tuma pesa ya abortion coz u too young to have kids at 22 kumbe she organizing graduation bash ya her male bestie pale taidys. Watu wa nakuru mnajua hio joint 😭😭😭😭
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@B3laze
Gituamba huko nakuru .... mathe wako 45-55. Hadi wanakupa discount. 'Nyinyi vijana wa siku hizi mnajua kujichunga na kondomu. Wazee hawapendi mraba' btw weka trousers vizuri ndio ukienda kazi wafikirie umetoka nyumbani '
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Kama ibada tusiwahi sahau kuna mama alizaa akasomesha then when her kids were just becoming Men those E minus mices played God
#JusticeForKianjokomaBrothers
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@wachira_eddie
@Osama_otero
Buru hakuna mahali maboyz huenda. When parents retire and relocate huko ocha, the boys move to the SQ and rent the main house
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Leo nimekuwa kilimani. Site nacheki vile my brothers wanachapa works. Kufika lunch tukaingia base flani. All my bros told me davy just watch. A brand new merc ikiingia apartment flani. Davy kuja friday utacheki same car ikitoka but it will have different colour n number plate
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#MarriageandDivorce
Let me educate y'all
1. I never had a married man tell me to get married
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@_misplacedhuman
Mimi I did that with my old account but quick thinking helped me. I quickly dmd the one I liked the most nikamsho 'rem the hair products you wanted, that chic sells them 😂😂😂 then I left
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kama saa hii hutumii drugs hii kenya yetu then you are one very responsible person
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Watu wa eastlands wanajua Latitude vile ilikuwa inashika Thursdays. Back in 2012 my pal chipod 2 chics then akajiona mswati. We begged him ka thru pass but madem wakadai 3some na yeye. Si tukasonga. Next day hakutokea works. Tulimpata mtindwa kwa reli 6pm na boxer ameKO ka fucken
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Shopping kidogo 6k imeenda tu hivyo. The state we are in. I remember this costing 2k. Sasa nyinyi wenye mko na watoto mnasurvive aje?
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Tangu nisare kuingia dms hata pesa ya pombe na nguo imeongezeka 😂😂😂 Siku hizi ni nyama 2 meals na kusindikisha na vodka. Fuck a goodheart and all that comes with it, generous people die poor
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Kudate dame hajui communication heri hata ukacheze na mtoto wa nursery. Mtu mzima hajui kuongea na watu unafaa umuache na shida zake
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@Kamtu_Ka_Chai
@Osama_otero
It's more of a curse btw. Unless she's super bright or mko hizo department za sales, front office and marketing. But if you really good area za IT, Accounting, Finance, Engineering, then hakuna kitu hapa. Kwanza na hii urembo madam HR atamchuja first. You know women na wivu.
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Nikiwa UON I was dating this chic wa egerton main campus. So I used to see her campus break. She had a male bestie. Akilewa the guy used to take her kwa crib yake n change her clothes anamvalisha boxer yake ndio incase akitapika asichafue nguo. I liked that guy 😭😭😭😭
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If my pal sells KC at 1000 itabidi nimsho hio ni nonsense. Nini mbaya na nyinyi. U think nitanunua KC thao coz u my friend? Maybe day one
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The kids 😭 Esp the two boys (twins). Tumelelewa nao. One visits his mother the other husema mathe hata akiachiliwa in let's say 20yrs atapita na kichwa yake. He loved his dad. Every time I drink with him yeye husema 'gava should release the devil nimpeleke kwa dad".. his own mum
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We will never be the same. Maybe kuna mabeshte tumeonana mara ya mwisho. Also, I'm certain things will be different. Our actions, biz, interactions etc. etc. I I survive this, I'm enjoying life. Its great to plan fo the future but not at the expense of celebrating life.
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He is the one incharge of his dad's apartments. Anakata maji mbaya huko mtaa 😂😂 I think ka wewe ni wa nax hapo St Mary's (opp naka) umeskia hii story. The mom used the mattress kupangusa damu. Yaani tenant anakudinya n convinces you to kill ya hubby 🤦🤦
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Huyo dem anajikatakata kama thara ni red flag tupu. Imagine akukate uso 😂😂😂 dem akisho such signs rudisha kwao. Dont even demand the bride price. Just be grateful u alive
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If your girl is a tweep and she ain't an influencer, the only engagements she should have is with her fellow skirtmates or when she saying thank you after posting a photo. Dem yako akianza engage wanaume huku unampatia ultimatum.
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@MigunaMiguna
Just apply for a new passport coz they definitely not surrendering the old one. Don't abuse me miguna. Just apply then we can finally know who really doesn't want you here. Viva general. We are waiting for you
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