✨gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss✨
@_Onezwa
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🌱🏳️🌈 Food & Lifestyle content creator || YouTuber || Founder and Owner of @eMandulo_ || Queries: onezwambola @gmail .com || IG: @onezwambola
Willowvale, South Africa
Joined October 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I did actually write a book 🫣🥹
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This is the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever come across. How do you not clean a fridge for over 25 years
One of the advantages of the lockdown is that the mother is finally getting to the bottom of her giant chest freezer.
Behold: 25 year old puff pastry.
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My niece can open my phone with her face, these are our faces 😂😭
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Told this man I wasn’t interested in dating and he didn’t beg me or try to change my mind, he simply left me alone. He’ll interact with my posts every now and then, nothing weird, a “congratulations” or “I’m so proud of you” and he’s become my favorite person cause the bar is low
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Deleting a whole app to avoid one person. Girl math
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Memory unlocked; friend bought a house and she suggested we go celebrate.
Her friends joined us and they talked about the 20k jump in their salaries due to a weak rand.
The bill arrived and I paid my share, she said she thought I was treating her to celebrate. I was unemployed
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There’s a clip after the interview where the interviewer confronts her and says “I’m more mature than you” and Tumelo responds “you have to be, you’re old”. When I tell you I wept
This ‘Malachi from South London’ girl off Tiktok might have one of the best interviews of this decade 😂😂😂
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Toddlers are just a special kind. He fell asleep with his ears closed because i was apparently making noise by telling him it’s nap time
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As a broke person you learn to decline invites quickly because you will FEEL your broke. From your inability to afford an appropriate outfit to having nothing to contribute to the conversation, nerve mind the bill.
Then gradually you stop getting invited to things.
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The biggest twist?! My best friend had given me the money to pay for my share because she didn’t want me to not go in case I’m perceived as being jealous 😭😭😭😭😭 yho bathong
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My child is always asking me to put him on tv so now I’ve created a private YouTube channel where I stream his videos on tv, lemme tell you, I might be his favorite person for the first time ever and it’s niiiiiice 🥺
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A wonderful woman saw my post about being tired before the restock and offered me an all expenses paid trip anywhere to help me unwind 🥺🥺🥺
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Location tells me fresh is code for light & bright
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Shekinah’s landlord was throwing out her stuff out in black bags and she barricaded herself in the studio to record Suited so she could pay rent. And that rent was paidtttttt
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The views from my grandmother’s house are absolutely spectacular
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Guys! I still don’t want this man, I’m saying he’s my favorite because the bar for men is so low that not harassing a woman who rejects you can actually earn you points
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Phods saw a birthday cake on tv this morning and said he wanted one so I baked him a mini cake, unfortunately we didn’t have candles 😅
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🧑🏾🍳 Phods baked and I… well I just stood around with nothing to do 🥹
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I dream of opening an NPO that focuses on secretly beating up deadbeats without the primary parent’s knowledge so they’re not implicated
This guy told my child he’d be taking her out today (the day and time were chosen by him). She got ready and she’s been sitting on the couch.
Did he come? 🙃
I loathe this guy man. He could have just left her alone??
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You come at me, I come for your whole family… and I’m only getting started 🫡🫶🏾
I forgot to cover the seedlings yesterday and the chickens ate all of them, they were literally ready for transplanting. I have no choice but to slaughter all the chickens 🥹
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Your mom’s side of the family is exactly like your dad’s side, they just take longer to show it
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Remember, nobody whose just lost a parent wants to hear that it’s “god’s plan”. Please don’t say that
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I baked myself a rich, decadent chocolate and coffee cake 🥳🎈
I turn 26 today, I don’t have much to celebrate this year but I’m thankful for my baby, his health and mine ❤️
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“We are the ones who dare” - lactose intolerant people having dairy
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My child doesn’t know if he’s a girl or boy because I’ve made it clear I don’t want anyone to tell him what he can or can’t do because of the gender he was assigned. He has a few dresses because “zintle mama” and we do makeup together. The kids are more than alright and so are we
My son has been asking for a dress. I finally decided to just get him dresses despite being afraid he’d get teased by other kids. Today, the boy next door asked why he was wearing a dress, I said “he wanted one” and he said “okay” then they continued to play. The kids are alright
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Covid is hard, you have to order Ocean Basket for the whole house instead of going out to eat and come home to watch them eat cabbage because “awuna appetite” 😭😭😭
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So after you’ve cancelled streaming services, Wi-Fi, stopped eating out, downgraded your car, swapped your 3 bed rental for a bachelor with your 2 kids, stopped buying butter and olive oil, what else do need to give up to be able to afford groceries? Because not eating is next
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Sometimes I just watch him sleep because I can’t believe that I created this perfect face. My heart is so full of gratitude for this happy, healthy Baba
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....if you’re making potato salad, instead of boiling your potatoes, cut them up, season with salt, pepper, garlic and oil. Roast until crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle. Also season your mayo with paprika, cayenne and chopped gherkins
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Did I tell you guys I got a remote work opportunity that lets me dictate my hours? Konke kuhamba kahle 🥺🥺🕯🕯💚💚
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Orange beetroot from my garden to brighten up the TL
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Ackermans should be jailed for making this grooms’ outfits for toddlers
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Every time my two year old sees me in the kitchen, he comes wobbling in with his stool and sets it by the counter to climb on while asking “sipheka ntoni mama? Sipheka icontent?” 😭😭😭😭😭
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People actually saying “ITs a cHesT FReeZer!” Yeah, and????? You nasty as fuck if you don’t clean out anything that keeps food for a quarter of a century and then proceed to eat said food
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Guys please don’t watch that show. Let the 8% do it, don’t tweet the name or hashtag. Please.
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Because of all your donations and retweets, she and 29 other kids will be able to attend school. Pls don’t say “it’s not much” when you send your donations, it’s much, it’s ver much.
On Monday 30 children will be at school because of you all. I’m so immensely grateful 🙏🏾💚
Today I witnessed a child breakdown because she was refused entry into the school. Her mother passed away and her father does not see any value in sending her and her sibling to school. The neighbours put together what they had for school uniform, all she didn’t have was a
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Nothing lubricates the heart like money.... as soon as the bank notification hits, you feel the gears moving smoothly towards love 🥺
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The views from my grandmothers house are priceless
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Why is everyone so rich, kanti nina nisebenza kuphi????
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My favorite girl in the world
turns 4, here’s pictures of her cuddling my preggie belly and stealing my whole face from Phods 🥰💜
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I hate doing aaaaany kind of work. Hate it. I’m a woman of relaxation. My dream is to do nothing.
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Really praying for his recovery so he can serve that full sentence🕯🙏🏾
President Zuma is in hospital. Arresting an 80 year old man with comorbidities was always going to result to this. 💔
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Can you imagine what will happen when she sets firm boundaries; asking to not be filmed or to be left alone?
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Hi I’m Onezwa and I make meals using items that I’ve grown, raised or foraged for 😊
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My cousin drank energy drink ye TWIZZA and she hasn’t sat down in 10 hours, I don’t know how many load of laundry she’s done 😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
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I successfully grew my very first food garden you guys, look at my first harvest 🥺🥺🥺🥺
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I only drink red bull because I like the taste because the energy thing is just a marketing gimmick on their part
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This time last year I was praying nervously for my period, my period is now sleeping on my chest because that's the only place he'll nap during the day
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“eMandulo” - life as it used to be
A line of products that are handmade from natural ingredients that I personally grew in my garden or harvested from my surroundings. Please say hello to my baby 🥺
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Apparently I can’t see him if his eyes are closed
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My boyfriend’s family still periodically check up on me and they sent the baby warm clothes. It makes me so emotional that they recognize my grief and pain even though they didn’t know me all that well 😢💚
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Grief hits you at the weirdest times, I made a really amazing meal yesterday and after it was done, I was so heartbroken that I’d never get to make it for my boyfriend. Like, all I wanted was for him to taste it 💔
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June: 🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯💸🕯💵🕯💰🕯💷🕯💶🕯💴🕯💲🕯🪙🕯🤑🕯💸🕯💵🕯💰🕯💷🕯💶🕯💴🕯💲🕯🪙🕯🤑🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯
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I’m so tired of these women knowingly sleeping with morally bankrupt men and loving the spoils from it then wanting to take some moral high ground after the break up, you’re complicit my darling
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I’m a very easygoing person, just do what you said you would do. That includes the little things, if you promise to call at 6, call at 6
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My child every single morning begging to use MYYYYY toothbrush because he likes the sound 😵💫
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This is genuinely how our conversations go 😂😂
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My child asking me where I know him from.......? City Hospital where I picked you out of a lineup????
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Yesterday I drove a Polo and I’m here to say the “Polo driver” mentality is actually an energy inside the car, you become reckless the minute you step in 😭✋🏾
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The stats of women who’ve never experienced vaginal orgasms through penetration is enough proof that men shouldn’t even be worrying about erectile dysfunction. Limp dick or not, you’re still a disappointment, go vaccinate
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The woman kneeling in front of him is a preventative measure, if you know how then I’m sorry 💚
Zola Ntshangase, the husband of The Mommy Club star, Nozipho Ntshangase is trending following a shocking video of him having a heated argument with his wife in front of the children.
In the video, an irate Zola is seen demanding car keys from Nozipho, who was adamant about the…
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This album has shown me that I didn’t evolve or grow with Beyoncé, I’m still stuck in the past and that’s okay, she’s made enough work to cover me till I catch up
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Picked beetroot from my garden to make naturally dyed dumpling roses 🌹💐
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I didn’t really believe that mother’s had a 6th sense till last night. My baby slept in main house, it’s not too far from me, I can hear them if they’re really loud. I suddenly woke at 1am and knew something was off, I walked to the house to find him screaming his head off
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Here’s my two year old baking a chocolate cake, it’s a recipe he’s developed over 5 years, he set up a tripod to take these pictures. I’m so amazed 🤭
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Happy 6th birthday to my little bestie.
Feels like only yesterday when she was throwing baby bottles at my newborn’s face to get him off my chest because that was her spot 💀💀
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Poor, unemployed people must protest while you drive by in your car to your corporate job where you’ll toss out their CVs for not being just right then go back to your middle class home where your only stress is that the Wi-Fi doesn’t work when there no power to order food online
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If I’m going to have pizza then I have to raise my own cows so I can get milk to make fresh cheese 🥺
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I spent my day foraging for mussels to create a starter for my family 🌊
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I went on a picnic and all I did was laugh 🥰
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I’m begging you to pls apply yourselves. Pls, for my sake! Yerr
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We raised a combined total of R20670.00
R9000 went to the 30 calculators and packets of printing paper.
The remaining R11670 went to uniform, toiletries, groceries, rent and basic appliances for 6 kids.
For this month, they can focus on school without worrying about food 🙏🏾💚
I know it’s January and we’re all struggling but I need your help. The high school is very far from my village is quite far and G12 learners have to rent closer. A lot of them are impoverished and need basics like groceries, mattresses, shirts, irons, kettles etc. I’ve pledge R4k
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My child’s gonna be 18 with 18 years experience 😂🧑🏾🍳
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Beyoncé’s XO will never fail to make me smile. It touches my sweet spot 🥰
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These are the things I think of every single time I leave the house
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Making butter cake French toast with Phods 🥰
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Ubufebe aside, amadoda akwaZulu ayazi ukuthi umuntu wesifazane uphathwa kanjani and all 7 of you will get the same treatment 🥺
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I just want to own a small cafe with 5 tables that opens 4 days of the week, without a set menu, I just cook with whatever is in season from my farm. The only way I’ll enjoy selling food is if I have freedom to be creative
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Toddlers will never ever let you do anything alone. Skincare routine? I have to let him squeeze the lotion out for me. Sweeping? I have to let him hold the dustpan and communicate when and how he can help. It takes a lot of patience because it would be quicker to do it yourself
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