“Sweetie, we don't joke around like that in this house. There are cannibals starving in Africa.”

“Trust me, this is the safest place to be this time of the year. We'll be fine as long as he doesn't catch us mating.”

Hustler magazine cartoons in the 80s and 90s had insane evil energy

Synchronized Sawing 🤣

“That, kids, is the reason why the first English settlers didn't eat a beaver for Thanksgiving. Secure your borders.”

The Turkey Thing That Should Not Be

It might be just for a minute, but you'll forget whatever aches and pains you wake up with each morning when you see what Jorma Tommila's character goes through a second time in Sisu: Road to Revenge. One of the best and bloodiest movies of the year with non-stop action, thrills

“Do you have anything left over that will make him go away?” The Bride of Frankenstein felt like a turkey at a Thanksgiving Day dinner when the Monster approached her with a I WANT A PIECE OF THAT look in his eyes. 👀🦃

ZOMBIE TURKEY/MAD TURKEY DISEASE What's the difference? I don't know. Ask someone who has tasted both.

A hamster who's about to get the thrill of a lifetime with a ride in a vacuum tube on Bring Your Pet to Work Day.

“I wish you'd stop saying that,” growled this zombie. “Finding the juiciest brains isn't a gift. People aren't handing them to me.”

Be that one person in your family that everybody talks about for all the right reasons.

I wonder what the ASPCA would have to say about someone choking a Wolf Man for looking at them the wrong way.

Your dog's shit shouldn't be telling you anything. 😅

“I can't wait to show that to my friends back home. Would you mind helping me load it into my saucer?” A master Egyptian craftsman was the first person to move a limestone block for an extraterrestrial.

“It’s time to decide, Stacy. Who’s getting the banana?”

Slither 2006 🪱🛁

I have a rule that has served me well over the years when it comes to which movies I’ll pay to see in a theater, if the trailer doesn’t show much, I probably won’t like it much and sure enough, Keeper was one I wish I had skipped. Nothing interesting happens for over an hour and

TALENTS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR FAVORITE VILLAINS HAD There isn't a drink that Charles Lee Ray, aka Chucky, doesn't know how to mix. He'd still be tending bar today if he could see over a counter.