One of the funniest things in the world is when a new hire doesn’t come back from break

no president next term, america need to b single for a while to focus on herself

Hey girls....be honest..... Do you ever compliment random girls just to make their day?

i don't even try to be nonchalant, i genuinely do not care about a lot of things.

scientists are calling me “the one person that is allowed to put q-tips into their ear canal” say things like “she’s just so careful” and “i don’t know how she does it”

i was definitely born in the right generation, i love telling men to shut the fuck up.

One of the funniest things in the world is when a new hire doesn’t come back from break

If i texted last then,i'm not texting again

prison bully sucker punches then get knocked out infront of the whole jail💀☠️😭

I like my weed how I like my peace consistent and not mixed with nonsense.

People are talking about this like it's a matter of keeping yourself entertained lmao you will be seeing the hatman by day 8

the masculine urge to solve a murder case in a town like this

If your company issues this laptop you don't have to worry about layoffs

If you don't actively shape the life you desire each day, you'll eventually wake up to find that years have slipped by unnoticed.

when i'm trying to sleep but then i remember and remember and remember and remember

lmao my 7 year old daughter was playing make believe on her toy phone and she said "ma'am. my check was supposed to be in my account yesterday. am trying to be patient but I'm about to get ignant. 😭😭😭😭😭

it be stupid bitches influencing stupid bitches to be stupid bitches

Before I ask you to be my girl, Call your best friend and make her guess who u with rn

"You love being treated like a lil babyy huh?" ME:

wtf are u doing naruto 😭

bitches be 22 with 4 kids talking bout "i'm single" bitch u with the gang & the mob, what is u thinking