Leggy Mountbatten 🦒
@Zardoz67
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"It was very funny. If it didn't get many likes, remember: algorithms are weird. You are funny. The End." (5 stars, Jude Rogers, The Guardian)
England
Joined February 2009
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So James Dellingpole’s son secretly filmed Starmer and passed it to Lawrence Fox who tried to make it a thing but couldn’t because it paled into insignificance versus what Johnson was up to.
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We are now at the stage where the client journalists/commentators are genuinely arguing that if Starmer is found to have not broken the law then he has questions to answer. Unlike Johnson who has broken the law demonstrably and repeatedly
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And now Starmer has said he’ll resign if fined we are told that he’s pressuring the investigation. This country is broken, it’s government, it’s press, it’s moral compass. We are fucked.
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At the same time 100s of photos were taken at Johnson’s parties by an official photographer that we pay for but we’re not allowed to see those
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The Daily Mail / Sun then spend days pressuring the Durham police to investigate in a way that they didn’t when Cummings drove to Barbara Castle to test his eyesight
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This coverage happened at the same time as the Conservatives lost almost 500 seats locally - a result that was stated to be catastrophic by the Daily Mail before the local elections
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Private Eye smashing it out of the park. Boy that’s gotta smart
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Is it “The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies” by Van Klomp?
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Latest allotment harvest. Might send it to Prince William
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Saw this photo and thought we need Muppet Succession. Piggy is Shiv obvs. Kermit is Kendal, Beaker is Greg, Brian Cox remains the one human member of the cast as Logan, Fozzie is Connor, Dr Bunsen Honeydew is Tom
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Gregg Wallace is so stupid he probably doesn't understand why taking his PA to a Harvester is funny
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@mrjamesob
Lots of us predicted this. Nearly everyone I know - all locals - applied for tickets. Not one successful. Ingram front and centre and given first response. A local Twitter hero
@ShitChester
struggled to find a single follower successful in the ‘lottery’ of ticket allocation.
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Fair play to Andrew Neil, he is 100% right here. Hancock literally rewriting history
Isn’t this a remarkable — some might say brazen — re-writing of what actually happened? The first “protective ring” was “advice” in February which said (twice) care homes had nothing to worry about. Then old folks were decanted from hospitals to homes without testing ...
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@bbcnickrobinson
@back_the_BBC
Nick. Genuine question. If this is the case why is demonstrable lying by politicians not called out; why is demonstrable cronyism (at best) and corruption (at worst) not called out; why are politicians not held to account for things they have said in the past?
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Chris Rea needs to start driving home for Christmas while he still can
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@DPJHodges
Except you weren't. People used Shipman, West and Huntley to mock your assertion that Hancock 'did more to protect people from the impact of Covid than any of the celebrities sitting round that jungle campfire'.
A. He bloody should have he was the health sec.
B. He failed
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The bees. The bees. Word has got out that pubs are open
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Reader. The ‘EU red tape’ was drafted, ratified and legislated for by us when we were in the EU. It applies to all those with third-country status. That sovereignty, which we never lost, is not going to save us in January. The Express is blaming the EU for us leaving the EU
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@JoseDenning
@Rachamuffin
People died Josephine. Brexit poses a big threat to UK pharma research & manufacturing, driving up manufacturing costs and deterring investment. AstraZeneca, UKs 2nd biggest drug maker has frozen all manufacturing investments and halted investments in its Macclesfield site 2017
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I love the fact that all Doctor Who fans want is a Paul McGann 8th Doctor series. Give him a first series you shits
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@NadineDorries
So you didn't get 'all the big calls right' then on COVID. Pandemic preparation under YOUR government was 'found wanting and inadequate'. You can't have it both ways. It will be a great day for the arts when you lose your job
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@MWGoneFishing
Hoorah. This and Detectorists should be required watching for anyone who doubts there is good in the world
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I am pretty sure that Eddie Mair leaving the BBC is a bit like the ravens leaving the tower of London
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Schroedinger's Megan Markle. The ability to whip Dan Wootton into a toxic frenzy by both attending and not attending the coronation
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@watsoncomedian
Stevie Wonder. The chasm between 'Superstition' and 'I Just Called To Say I Love You' is unbridgeable
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Lots of Tory MPs seem keen to tell us that Priti Patel is a lovely person and that unintentional bullying isn’t bullying this morning. Almost as if they have been told that they have to. Which, I suppose is a form of bullying
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I am no longer a member of the band Spandau Ballet and will not be performing with them in the future
#itsashitbusiness
@LeagueOfGentlem
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Chester Zoo a charity & does not make the government any money, therefore fuck it? Yet more incompetence from this absolute shitshow. Packed beaches, yeah sure; 3-hour queue for McDonalds, yep; IKEA carpark fun, knock yourself out. Socially distanced, controlled entry, nope.
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@DailyMailUK
Erm... they announced this 'plot' publicly over a year ago. Maybe they need to get better at plotting
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#PredictMaysSpeech
Brexit is Boris is Brexit is Boris is Brexit is Boris is Brexit is Boris is Brexit is Boris is Brexit is Boris is Brexit
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Stormzy is every Daily Mail reader’s waking nightmare and it’s marvellous. Modern Britain writ large.
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The police have the power to break up groups now? If they don’t call it Operation Yoko then what’s the bloody point
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Nice to see one of the all time best Chester jokes reinstated
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So its
#nationaldogphotographyday
. Here is my study titled 'the unbearable lightness of being a border terrier'
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The Lighthouse. Blimey. How have DaFoe and Pattinson not hoovered up all the awards? And how did the sound design not get BAFTA nominated? Dark, surreal, visceral. Reminded me of Eraserhead. Like The Witch will disappoint anyone expecting a horror film
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Hey Siri, show me the definition of gaslighting…
That top right corner betrays the lie
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@Tim_R_Dawson
Erm who is selling weapons to the Saudis? Weapons that are used on innocent civilians in Yemen. Clue: it's not Corbyn or McDonnell
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@JeremyVineOn5
Neither. It's third country status. Which is what Brexiteers wanted. And have got. You cannot leave a club and remain a member. It's not petty or payback its applying the same rules to us as they do to other non-EU members. Jeez it's not hard
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@Anna_Mazz
Your friend tells the truth. I’m a child of the 70s / 80s. Our dentist never gave anaesthetic for fillings. I thought this was normal until I went to dentist as an adult
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@HunterHunts1996
@Paul_Cornell
Google is your friend. Maybe Google Paul Cornell and then delete your account 😁
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@I_amMukhtar
The desperation of printing off a picture of the front of Harry's book (which is a hardback) and crudely sticking onto the front of some old paperbacks is even stupider than pretending that they have bought copies to burn
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That well known bastion of hysteria and left-wing bias The Financial Times reporting that we have the highest death rate in the world as
@MattHancock
laughs himself silly
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Tom Hughes aka Prince Albert is playing guitar in the pub in Chester
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We were gifted this book by my wife’s dad before he died. Written in 1901 it’s a pictorial guide to Japan at the start of the 20th century. The illustrations are amazing and evocative. There are 100 in total so I’m going to post them over the next 100 days
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Brexit nut jobs seem a bit jittery that Boris Johnson has had an attack of reality. It’s as if the man who had two articles prepared for the result of the referendum cannot be trusted
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@JackieClune
@fliceverett
Have you tried looking in Salford? Different city but literally 5 minutes walk between them. My son is at Salford Uni and has found finding accommodation reasonably easy
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@derekjames150
Because the north swallowed the Brexit cool aid and is not yet willing to let go. I think the south now has plenty of real-world experience of exactly how shit it is
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@kruger4devizes
@RicHolden
@PaulBrandITV
Lies? Boris Johnson. Would never happen*
*Editors note: It did happen. Time and time and time again. In fact he was sacked for lying. More than once
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Sheila a comedy character yet that 1 scene showed 20 years of hurt & got to her heart without saying anything but everything
#detectorists
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@darrenhayman
@DrownedinSound
I doubt he has. He probably still thinks Brexit is a great idea and it’s all the EU’s fault. He’s like my dad. It’s all about the war
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@DPJHodges
@icket_cr
@StephenJOwen159
Genuinely, when was it ‘exposed as a lie’. He went on telly and said it. Sat on a sofa opposite Scofe. It was filmed and broadcast. People saw it. You can still watch him saying it on the internet
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Finished! Highly recommended. Not sure how
@petepaphides
gained so much insight about my childhood 😉 Everything resonates. Hiding in pop music, trying to find out who you are, fitting in, not fitting in, the cruelty of children who are equally at sea. Long live the power of pop
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.
@Ticketmaster
should never be allowed to sell tickets again. ALL tickets for
#LeagueofGentlemen
sold out as site goes live but you can buy multiples from their tout site. Fucking disgraceful
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If you are not watching Post Office Investigator Stephen Bradshaw at the
#postofficeenquiry
then you should. A pawn, not important in the larger picture, but slowly being picked apart and revealed to be a liar. Squirming. No responsibility. No shame
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Having a poem I suggested read as part of Samuel West’s lockdown poetry project was exiting enough. Having it read by Toby Jones is going to be my moment of 2020. Grinning from ear to ear
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BBC News at 10 just reported that rising inflation may, and that’s only may, be Brexit related. My flabber is gasted
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An album from when I was 19 and at University in Liverpool. Bought from HMV and signed as a Liverpool band. Have not listened to it in years. Even with the nostalgia factored in it holds up really well. Political soul pop from Thatcher’s Britain. Looking good
@HenryPriestman
😜
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@MichaelRosenYes
You say Siouxsie and I say The Cure
You say Bauhaus, I say The Sisters
Siouxsie, The Cure
Bauhaus, The Sisters
Let’s call the whole thing Goth.
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@_roryturnbull
Hello, I'm a grizzled old detective in a movie. I've been paired with a new rookie full of new ideas & hope. Whilst working this case, I'm going to denigrate my new partner, make wisecracks & bend the law before developing grudging admiration and, dare I say it, respect for them
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@NoContextBrits
Lands End. The 'visitor attraction'. A heartless, thrill-free, money-laundering operation. They even charge to take a photo with the Land's End sign. Utterly without charm or worth
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@sazmeister88
You really can’t claim to have a persistent cough and talk to camera without coughing for almost 3 minutes. My friend has it and the cough never stops. At best he has it but is exaggerating his symptoms, at worst he’s lying and just hiding. Again
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Can someone ask Nadine Dorries and Jacob Rees-Mogg why Keir Starmer appointing a respected civil servant that they themselves described in glowing terms is a disgrace and worthy of investigation but Boris Johnson nominating his father for a knighthood isn’t?
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Second time around and I am now convinced The 12 Days Of Christine is one of the finest half hours of British telly ever
#InsideNo9
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Next election. Vote all the fuckers out. Vote independent. Vote Green. Vote Monster Raving Looney. Vote Lord Buckethead. Anyone but these vacuous, self-serving dicks
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On this, the third day of the Feast of Lineker, I think it’s important that we reflect on the absolute cesspit that the UK has become and who has been in charge for 13 years
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First human soul transplant deemed a failure by scientists
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@BBC6Music
Johnny Cash. Hurt. A peerless reinterpretation of NIN’s original. Cash made it his own. A meditation on approaching death and mortality oh that video. The rotting food and June on the stairs. Best acoustic song, best cover, best song
#NP6music
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@simonblackwell
@Ms_JulieJ
@Nick_Pettigrew
@MooseAllain
Over Christmas my 76 year old mum told me she had a ‘lovely chlamydia growing in the garden’. I think she meant clematis but I’m too scared to check
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@sheilaloughlin_
That picture is 10 years old. Boris Johnson was mayor of London when it was taken. News tends to be current events
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