I've never been prouder to be Bristol City Poet & to offer a poem to my adopted city than I am today. This piece is called Hollow and I hope you like it. I've captioned it and everything!
Rust in shame, Eddie.
Will probably delete this but want to post for those who feel similar because it's maddening thinking you're the only one/one of very few. I am very sad about but making peace with the fact that romantic love is sthg that eludes some of us for reasons we cannot know or control.
Please understand that this conversation about Colston's legacy has been happening for DECADES in Bristol. We've already decided to change the name of one of our most prominent concert halls because of this. Don't reduce this to a random act of anarchy.
I'm getting very (very VERY) bored of this petulant and uniquely millennial argument that posh white women (or any other 'majority' for that matter) making things is not 'representative'. Its boring, faux woke bollocks and here's why.
This is a fun story and I'm really glad the person in question seems to be taking this in his stride. But, yo. This trend of posting screenshots and videos of ppl's dating profiles with identifying characteristics like voice/photo/location is so sketchy??
When I say elude, I don't mean it will never, ever happen. I'm saying that whilst many people go in and out of relationships on some miraculous, regular wave, some of us have that happen rarely or not at all.
No neat bow on this thread, I'm afraid. Wrote it for those that know what this feels like. I'm here, I'm with you, I get it. But we move! We're allowed to feel sad. In fact, I insist on our right to that. But life is for the living, because and in spite of all of this. Onwards x
The more time passes, the more you build a self unaccustomed to and frankly quite alienated by the idea of partnership. Much like the serial monogamist who can't stay single, it becomes a nebulous hypothesis, some fantastical theory your body has no visceral reference for.
Seperate from one's private desire for a partner, long term singleness can just feel...socially mortifying. It's hard to be in the world, talking to people who constantly & casually refer to partners & exes, this seemingly universal experience for which you have no testimony.
It is just bad luck. And luck can ofc turn on a dime. But it can also just go on like that, reliably & laughably shitty, for years or even decades. You can make yourself sick with hope, waste time & energy with your antenna raised whilst simultaneously pretending not to care.
What I wont do is be w anyone just to say I have s/o. What an insult to me & that person. I can be proud even if I go to my grave never experiencing it. I can say I strove to do all things joyfully & with intent. As it is in my hobbies, work & friendships, it must also be in love
Amy Winehouse was a muh'fucking poet, a storyteller extraordinaire. 'Frank' is aging like bougie wine. Everytime I listen, I marvel at something new. The turn of phrase. The cheekiness. The wit. The reverence for the jazz tradition mixed with stush London girl sensibility. WOW.
Please don't send me platitudes or assurances that it will happen or that I am lovable/desirable. Those things are certainly true in abstract and I know that. I want to talk honestly about the feeling without people rushing me towards a solution or soothing balm.
I never used to let myself acknowledge the weight of sadness I felt around this. I thought it was above me & the brilliant life I've built. Too basic, too pathetic! But breaking news: I am made of the same soft, jelly-ish needs as anyone. Hate that for me tbh, but there you go.
This anxiety has generated a multi billion dollar industry of books/events/courses/apps claiming to have an answer. Attempts are made to lace singledom with some semblance of dignity or even gravitas. But we remain a species addicted to the salvation of romantic love.
Yet: I have my health, my friends, my flat, my dream job. No one I love is dead, for now. It's an embarrassment of riches. It would be greedy of me to demand a sweeping love story on top of that. I don't think any of us get to have it all, all at once.
Sometimes I wish it were an organ, this longing. Then I could neatly & efficiently cut it out of my body. The world is so big, so gorgeous, replete with issues that deserve our focus. I want to stop thinking about this so I can apply my full self to anything & everything else.
The term relationship STATUS speaks volumes. It's as much about ego as anything else, wanting to signal to the world that s/o has freely elected to give your their time, care & attention. In lieu of meaningful community ties, this is the last bastion of relational safety.
Why yes I, a 31 year old childless adult, DID buy myself a copy of this book because I heard it slapped and slap it did. Illustrations were gorgeous. Use of blank space, irony and black humour was impeccable. Recs for other kids books that a grown up might enjoy?
For some it's a genuine or perceived lack of options. Some won't settle. I wont get into how & why I've found myself firmly in my thirties & never in love. I've driven myself insane with elaborate theories. I will rest with and reiterate this simple, elegant thing: it's bad luck
It pierces you like a shard of glass some days: except for cursory hugs and handshakes signalling hello & goodbye, you haven't been touched, meaningfully, for months or perhaps even years.
I want to say one more thing about Benjamin Zephaniah which I think is less easy to valorize but actually is as much a show of his integrity. In a radio interview, he openly discussed a past of occasional violence against his ex wife and how deeply he regretted it.
We each have our story of exclusion, our own private gulf of shame. Let it grow, not shrink, your heart. Its this sense of lack, the very thing that makes you feel hideous, that builds your empathy. We each have our crosses to bear and we must do so with grace & good humour.
The solutions peddled by apps & self help gurus work for some. But there is another experience, another rambling path: sad, difficult, ghostly, formative & continually humbling. Undisturbed, you learn to truly hear yourself and the tide of your thoughts, for better and for worse
I have my flaws like anyone, but I sincerely think I'm amazing! That's entirely seperate from my dating experiences thus far. I am hugely deflated and uninspired by what love has been, or failed to be, up to now. That's all. But I have a long life ahead of me yet.
I'm gonna try not to lean towards it or stalk it down an alleyway. The apps are poison. They sap my soul and my phone data. I'm just gonna feel what I feel and live how I want to live. And no, not because 'love finds you when you least expect it'. Vomit. Miss me with that bar!
I'm not under any delusions about partnership. Like anything, it can be anti-climatic, banal, exposing, violent. Even when its lovely & loving, life still finds other ways of sneaking in its sucker punches. I know this. But still. What else is there to say? It just sucks, innit.
You smother your libido such that sex reverts back to the slightly silly and gross act it seemed like when you first heard about it as a child. Better to be mildly disgusted by it than ache for it every day.
Not feeling very accomplished or successful as an artist? Here's a non exhaustive list of different flavours of success, and I bet you my house money fund you have tasted at least one:
I'm still stuck on why romantic films just aren't HITTING like they used to. I think it's also cos things are so po faced? It's all longing & angst & lingering shots of hot people Doing Eyes at eachother. I personally find nothing swoonier than 2 people making each other laugh??
I'm waiting for the long read about this shift in audience behaviour/ettiquete of late. Crowds are way more subdued at gigs than they used to be - me and my peoples get odd looks for dancing/having a good time whilst others just film the show with passive looks on their faces?
Bruh I didn’t wanna say it but I was shocked that was a London crowd, just such little movement??? I was there in my section going crazy like a stan whilst people were stood completely still
PWB has never claimed to make a universal piece of work that speaks to all female experience. A lot of her writing subtly satirises this type of asinine feminism-lite thinking in the first place. Stop looking at all art by women and holding it to impossible moral standards.
if i were billie piper i would evaporate from the persistent embarrassment of it, my goddddd. please be very careful about who you procreate with, you're tied to to them for life.
YOU WOULD BE MORE ANNOYED/IRRITATED IF SHE CHUCKED IN SOME WORKING CLASS/BLACK/BROWN CHARACTERS IN THERE, WROTE THEM POORLY AND TOKENISED THEM. Stop moving the bloody goalposts and let posh people depict their posh lives authentically and in peace. This is not the problem at hand
Every new thing I'm learning on the TL about Paul O Grady is so moving. Always rated him as one of our OG British drag queens, but all the sharing of his kind acts & principled behaviour reminds me once again that this is the stuff you want to be remembered for when you're gone.
When we worked together at Ch4, Paul O’Grady insisted that new roles on his show were advertised in the local Job Centre. He wanted anyone and everyone to be able to apply so they could get a break like he had. And it made the show better. A kind and generous man.
The problem is 'minority' voices (really falling out of love with this word too, tbh. Collectively we are a majority!) are still not getting the commissions, resources or praise they need. Our work is considered tangential and niche, never representative of the human experience.
Anyway, I'm done. Fleabag is a fucking excellent show. I can stand by that whilst STILL fighting for and championing diverse stories in the arts. Put your energies and ire in the right place, folks. Direct it with precision and intent & we may just get somewhere. Happy Sunday!
The fact of the matter is that so many men who are also loving, talented, principled, valued members of society, have also caused harm. Not enough men are willing to own that about themselves and model what true accountability and repair looks like.
You can only write as cogently as you think. Writing itself is not the thing, its the conduit. When you find yourself struggling to write, or writing in circles, it may well be that that thoughts are too weak, too trite, too embryonic.
Fuck me. I May Destroy You may be the smartest, nuanced, funny, devastating exploration of sex and consent.... ever??!! I am in awe. A level of specificity and astuteness I've never seen on tele, never mind AN ACTUAL PERIOD INDUCED BLOOD CLOT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SEX SCENE.
Hot takes on what was an objectively well written, brilliant show cos the protagonist doesn't look like your mirror reflection is...I'm sorry. It's dumb. I'm not a posh girl. Yet I love Fleabag. Riddle me that?? How condescending to say who art is/is not for.
BIG FAT CAVEAT: this ain't leverage for people who feel maligned by the push for inclusion to use me as an example of a young black person who also thinks it's 'all gone too far'. I'M NOT THAT GIRL so don't even go there with me, klthnxbye.
Ok, NOW, I'm done.
@pxppyrose
@hinge
They have detailed their reasoning on this policy here. It may seem like a means for further discrimination, but those who won't date POC will discriminate through their choices regardless. Meanwhile, some POC want to find people form their own ethnic background and this helps x
I met Olivia Colman last year at an event for a youth organisation she's an ambassador for. 'She must get badgered all the time' I thought, so I didn't approach her. But she introduced herself, was so warm, lovely, chatty and nice. IT'S NICE WHEN NICE PEOPLE GET NICE THINGS.
I reckon some of you relationship gluttons have been single three months and you're retweeting like 'OMG, this thread!!!!' Sksksks. Sure! Fine! I wanna say 'you can't sit with us' but who am I, the loneliness police? It is well.
I am a black woman whose experience diverges in many ways to the Fleabag, or Hannah from Girls and other such shows that Woke Twitter attack with such disproportionate venom. But I still find many things in them funny, interesting & relatable.
It's the same logic a white man uses when he sees a billboard for a film with black protagonists and assumes he cannot relate and doesn't engage with it. It's a complete failure of nuance, empathy and common sense.
Yes, those used to being represented (men, straight folk, white ppl etc) are much less adept at having to empathise with characters that don't look like/live like them than I am, but at the end of the day good writing and good character development transcend identity politics IMO
Pondering why I've finally decided to publicly share this feeling. I hid it for many reasons, I think. But the main one was fear that confirming this as my experience, out loud, would perpetuate it and further repel men from me. Clearly I'm past caring now, lol. I IS WHO I IS.
Nora Ephron's screen lovers LAUGHED together. They were whimsical and banal and playful. They sure knew when to stare deeply into each other's eyes, too, but it was the joy and the light of their conversations that made everything sparkle.
Guys, I learnt how to ride a bike last week because Bristol buses are a joke and I need quick, efficient transport to get out and about now I don't live as central. But I cannot stress how scared I am to go on these roads??? Like, how are you lot doing it?
I really respect that he did so, and I hope that any men that heard him and recognised themselves were able to reflect on their behaviour, know that it's wrong and believe that they can change. That, to me, is some of the realest shit he did.
Naaaaaaah SEE HOW MY CITY DOES IT???!!! Made a decision not to go to protests cos of COVID risks etc etc but fuck me am I proud of what they're doing out there right now.
Stop lambasting individual white female artists as totemic of the evils of non-inclusion when all they're doing is making work and minding their business. It's not their job to represent us. You're pointing your finger in the wrong place. They just happen to be visible.
This is it. The type of friendships that sustain and blossom are more than just talking at eachother, offloading problems etc. Do stuff together, do nothing together. Remove the ceremony of brunch/dinner/drinks and the obligation to always 'catch up' or put the world to rights.
Increasingly I can’t bear staring at someone across a table and racking my brain for words to say. Come to IKEA with me! Let me help you rearrange your bedroom! Let’s go rockpooling! I love you but don’t make me have coffee with you!!
I've been thinking about this stuff a lot. How we don't really have a model for perpetrators to properly reckon with the hurt they cause. There is such strong impetus for them to deny or minimise their actions because we are for more interested in punishing ppl than reducing harm
Let me tell you, too many men who we put on pedestals are all too happy to corroborate with the idol status awarded them and even embellish on it themselves. For him to say, actually, I've also been a perpetrator, I've been cruel, I've hurt ppl I loved, is so powerful.
The 'vaginal hygiene' product industry is bogus and entirely built on SHAME and SHIT SCIENCE. It aint meant to excrete glitter or smell like Charlie body spray. The vag is very much a self cleaning oven, love and leave your vaginas alone FFS.
Super chuffed to announce my new poetry collection has strutted into the world. 'A Recipe for Sorcery'. Look at her! Isn't she lush? You can treat yourself a copy if you want, m8:
OF COURSE that needs to change. OF COURSE we shouldn't only be hearing from posh white people on our tele, our films, our books. So support the work that is representative - watch it, pay for it, praise it, push it into the canons of Good, Respected Art.
Challenge to all: All that energy you spend typing away about a piece of art that you feel doesn't represent you, put into hyping something that DOES. In theory, you are just shining more light on that work with your negativity. Meanwhile, so many great artists need your support!
We need representation in the commissioning boards, in th publishing houses and in the production depts and on judging panels. Inclusion will naturally occur when there are a variety of people making the DECISIONS on what art gets funded and celebrated. This issue is systemic.
I've heard that that bougie app for the semi famous (Raya?) has a function that means you can't screenshot profiles - this should be a blanket design choice for all dating apps, I think.
To all the teachers asking permission to use this poem, please go ahead. There's probably some sort of due procedure to this.....some sort of financial recompense I should ask for....but fuck it. Feed poems to the kids! Let them feast! I hope its a useful teaching tool <3
Where's the repartee? The jokes, the vibes, the silliness? This is why Normal People wound me up. I could see they were drawn to eachother but I was like rah, can you two also have a few inside jokes and bants or nah?
i can't with the trans hate. that's my fam and i will defend them to the death. most people spitting vitriol talk about trans people like they are hypotheses meanwhile these are people just trying to live like anyone else. you don't need to wholly understand to have compassion.
It's vulnerable enough putting yourself out there on a dating app w/o worrying about becoming fodder for a viral moment. It doesn't really matter if what's being said is kind or malicious - we really need to do better with our online ethics.
All that's happened is a long simmering feeling has met an opportune moment in our public discourse and yaknowwat? Ppl got tired with words & DID something. Council sanctioned debates are cute but sometimes the ppl gotta seize the narrative and that's what the fuck they did 2day!
I completely respect & honour everyone's right to their feelings and have no desire to police how people are emotionally responding to world events. But I ultimately agree with this tweet - I see a lot of ppl on here playing judge and juror as to how others should be feeling -
The nail in the coffin for me and the apps was when it got to the point where the sheer ubiquity of generic profiles with responses like this made me so disdainful and misanthropic that I frightened myself. It shouldnt have been anything other than faintly amusing/exasperating
my theory, based on nowt but overthinking & vibes, is that 'relationship types' usually began dating at a young, formative age. their sense of self is thus built around a certain porousness, a certain space where a wider variety of people might come in & be in partnership w them
This.
Finding a partner that you love and happens to loves you back, has the same values as you, a compatible personality and is not already in a relationship when you meet, lives near you, is in the right age group AND somehow crosses your path of life?
WHAT ARE THE ODDS??
We can't be surprised that when we demand that every single person respond to the current situation that many of those responses will be glib, thoughtless or downright egregious. Not everyone has something useful to say and it seems strange to me to insist they do.
I'm not interested in policing how people engage w a show they've paid good money for. If you wanna stand stiff, that's your prerogative. But I am sorely missing the collective experience of shared joy and dancing/singing with abandon with pals and strangers alike
#loveisblindReunion
When Barnett and Amber were doing some cutesy banter about their house being haunted and Barnett said 'Our house had bad spirits' and Vanessa La-Shade comes in with:
'Speaking of, Jessica, how are you doing?'
Your reminder that 'blood is thicker than water' is an abbreviation of the full Biblical quote which reads 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb' which is pretty much the opposite sentiment of the common adage and how we use it.
Someone really thought they'd dismantled my poem by saying that bronze doesn't rust to which I say yes, correct. Ropes also don't do plies & tadpoles probably prefer to snack on plankton than twisted glory. You must be new here, lol. Your normie rules don't apply in poetry land!
anyway, your girl's writing a book about this stuff, innit. so watch this space! but anyway, kudos to him for doing what most men don't have the humility to. if you're able to hold the most monstrous parts of yourself to the light, you're far less likely to lead with them imo
Thanks so much for the lush response to the poem, everyone! I tried my best to make something accessible that was still a decent poem, so to get positive feedback from writers who I admire hugely as well as ppl who've not engaged much with poetry is truly the sweet spot.
I have a strong feeling Ryan Gosling about to do his thing in the film and don't appreciate the people doubting it. That said, it is wild that James Marsden isn't one of the other Kens, that's an irrepresibly Ken-coded man ffs, LOOK at him??!!
To all those saying 'yes, but not like this!!' We all wish that social progress could be won by asking nicely. As the historical record shows, most rights that we take for granted were won by civil disobedience, consistent protesting and yes, strategic law breaking.
@WithHannahCrawf
Do you know, I contemplated making a burner account just to tweet this from?? Absolute scenes. Thank you so much for your solidarity! X
In the midst of current events, I want to offer some thoughts on gendered violence. Please know that 1) I'm not afraid of different opinions & multiple things can be true at once. 2) I'm not interested in being ‘right’, I'm interested in things getting better for all of us.
Young writers, find each other & make your own spaces. I know that's hard w no money, but some of the most dynamic, exciting and politically charged art forms emerged with the backdrop of economic downturns and cultural suppression. Don't wait for s/o else to do it. It's on you.
So. This essay. I learnt a lot, I recognised glimmers of undeveloped thoughts that have sat in my brain. I also had to confront some ugly, lazy ideas I've been holding onto.
New name, who dis??
Proud to have penned a piece to usher in a new era for one of Bristol's best music venues. Once Miss Rona's dealt with I'll be one of the first to go enjoy a gig at the Bristol Beacon.
Welcome to Bristol Beacon.
A symbol of hope and community. A place of welcome, warmth and light. An open invitation to the city for everyone to come and share in the joy of live music.
Find out more:
Poem by
@Vanessa_Kisuule
#newname
#bristolbeacon
This is a classic tactic in populist conservative media. They invent grievances that no person with a life or a scrap of sense has and use them to attack 'wokeness' and 'PC culture gone mad'. Its a crass distraction from the meaningful changes that most of us are demanding.
I can't root for a couple that don't have fun together, AHT AHT!! Like sure, I can see you guys wanna smash and maybe walk broodingly across the moors, but I'm not convinced that you... actually like eachother.... as people??!!
@reecelyons_
Oh Reece. Too real, baby girl. Dating was a part time job for me for about 7 years and at some point you have to throw your hands up and say enough!
I dunno, man. Radical empathy is the only way I've found to bear these kinds of tensions. When I find myself railing at why others don't act/talk/think as I do, I just return to myself. All I can control is me. All I can do is try to live in accordance with my values.
It's not sexy, easy or fast work to unpack the intricate framework of a broken SYSTEM. We'd rather create false figureheads to lump all of our grievances on. There are certainly people who are accountable, you just won't know their names or faces, necessarily.
news cycle especially heavy atm. hard not to conclude that there's some new level of moral depravity we've reached as a species. don't forget to go out in the real world & actively seek evidence of the good deeds that are happening everywhere, all the time. its there, i promise x
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