nattie winters
@UtilityLimb
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this website sucks. go to NEW GAME COMING FROM HOTBRAIN go to @hotbrainland “she/they” av by @sehnsud
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Pinned Tweet
new game studio HOTBRAIN :]
go to for secrets in your email box...
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hitting the attention jackpot with a failed assassination attempt and then losing it a week later because the other guy had to go to bed
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feel so stupid. none of them have the mustache. no way to tell which baby is hitler.
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"anyone hear about this new ipad?" [jay leno pauses] "anyone hear anything at all?" [jay wanders the desolate cities. even the wind is gone]
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Programming Skills: PRIMARILY RUBY AND PYTHON BUT I CAN USE ANY TYPE OF GEM TO CONTROL ANY TYPE OF SNAKE
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an oscar the grouch in every trashcan doesn't break the canon that there's only one of him, each connects to a central body in the undercity
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travel tip: if you ever visit chicago, get your chicago friends to take you out for deep dish. they fucking hate deep dish because everyone in chicago hates deep dish but they’re so used to taking out-of-towners out for deep dish they'll just go along with it and suffer.
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i'm not racist, but, *cranes neck to see if anyone's around. keeps craning. head unscrews entirely. out of the hole pour jewels & mysteries*
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saw my first cyber truck irl and here’s what i think: how about a reverse nextdoor so we can report these to local vandals
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some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]
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i think it’s good when people post about their weird sex shit online. online should be as hostile as possible toward anyone trying to use online for normal reasons because the people that want to use online for normal reasons are complete psychopaths.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, knowledge manifests itself in radiant dreams that shimmer like the wild sun.
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teens building new species of teen out of every available resource. teens of moss and teens of ore, our old weapons can not harm them.
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it's sad thinking of all the dogs in old movies that have died, but even sadder thinking of the earth we fled because of the dogs that can't
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Goofs: Beavis believes his existence to be that which he experiences rather than the blanket of darkness shrouding the infinity he does not.
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everybody welcome our surprise celebrity guest!! [the arm from arm & hammer hops out on stage and starts hammering people indiscriminately]
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I'm not doubting that you're 1/8th Pond People, but this is a research paper. You can't cite "BOG WISDOM"
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ya, last name spelled: [distant howl] as in far off train, [metallic scraping] as in axe being dragged through quarry, [quiet sobbing] as in
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the chlorophyll from an all-grass diet is what gives cows their distinctive green color and blade-like appearance
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Todd shared a link: "Shit The Omniscient Authority Spire Says." Todd's location was changed from "Drone Warren 72A6-B" to "Reeducation Pods"
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"how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea
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"Muck Man send you LinkedIn request :)" says the writing on the empty pizza box pierced by a fishing hook. The line leads back into the bog.
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@christapeterso
@YEETPOSTING
i brought that pic with me but none of the babies are in black and white
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"what if you just take out a bunch of them?" yeah that's a great idea. for someone who wasn't born in the exact same hospital at the exact same time as hitler.
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that's gay as hell dude... [later, in hospital burn ward]: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNEW THERE WAS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BEING NAMED "HELL DUDE"
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dude, you GOTTA see this GIF! [gif is you dying while watching the gif. you look up but im gone & so is every exit leading out of applebees]
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morning tip: close your sensory holes when moving from sleeping bag to waking bag. do not experience the unbagged void outside the bagwombs.
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your movie script is a lot like unicode in that it's got a bunch of stupid characters that will never show up on a screen
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kinda miss when girls wore those "LOVE PINK" sweatpants. got kinda weird once they got replaced by "EAT BUGS," "FEAR SUN," and "LIVE CAVE"
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i love her BUTTE, but only PLATEAUNICALLY ;) [a tumbleweed made of bugs rolls by. they keep still, moved only by wind. are they dead? am i?]
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shocked neighbor: he was friendly, quiet, and kept to himself. we had no idea he’d miss
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WELCOME TO GYM.
[5gp] WOOD MUSCLE //
[10gp] LEATHER MUSCLE //
[50gp] IRON MUSCLE //
[100gp] WISTFUL MUSCLE //
[999gp] DESOLATION MUSCLE
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the big posts like groverhaus endure but there are so many beautiful little posts lost to time like the goon who believed smoking weed made driving safer because it let him see a few seconds into the future
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I vow to eliminate the unconstitutional Big Government that wastes our tax dollars + the unearthly Big Governor that eats our fishing boats.
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ah, bagels! [plucks one from vine] nature's DVDs! [opens it] [inside: tiny men act out a movie. i know this movie. do i? where is everyone?]
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damn, club is poppin' tonight! all the dying animals left the forest & came here to wilt+decay together on the dancefloor! whole club crying
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wow, tweet 666 comin' up. oh damn! it's a SICK tweet. new era for u-limb. new style. better than dogs! better than hell dude! here it comes:
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Special Buy Nothing Day Sale!! Great Deals On: [ HOLES | VOIDS | SILENCE | NUMBNESS ] whisper coupon code "hello?" into a disconnected phone
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if i could give a piece of advice to anyone starting estrogen: draw some red lines on your chest and take an unshaven shirtless selfie. in a couple years you can pretend to be an ftm who just got top surgery
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that's sick as hell dog! [later, at veterinarian] "sorry, hell dog passed away last night" why wasn't i with him? the guilt will never leave
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Age? No, thanks ;) Sex? Yes, please ;) Location? Yes, please ;) Please, God ;) Let me exist somewhere ;) Anywhere ;) Out of this darkness ;)
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ever since 9/11 the united states government has done everything in its power to justify 9/11
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don't set your timeline to military time. bunch of weird dudes tweet from 2400-6666 hours & all they talk about is some secret "in the well"
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halloween is the only day when it's socially acceptable for a girl to dress like a PIT FULL OF SPIDERS. DUDE TRUST ME IT'S A GIRL. GET IN IT
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cultures yet to invent dogs still make speculative dog tweets. "they have form," says one. "they are formless," says another. both are wrong
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"tears in heaven" is considered metadubstep because it's a song about a sick drop
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What society thinks I do: [THE ABYSS, GAZING BACK]. What I REALLY do: [IT DOES NOT RETURN THE GAZE. WE HAVE NO COMPANION, NOT EVEN THE VOID]
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millennials are “quiet-pissing” into little glass bottles they keep hidden from their boss even when he’s been working up a mighty big thirst
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logging off to transition for 10 years without toxic miasma of online worked out great except for this part where i have to come out a second time for some reason. but you will love my game studio :]
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lot of people asking how mario kart even happens, so here’s a quick rundown: he has the money to bribe city officials.
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Oh My God The DJ Put My Dinner On The Turntable!! The Club Is Going Wild To This Electro House Meal!! Please Stop I Am Very Hungry!!
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the average person eats three spiders a year, but as you're about to find out, it takes an entire year for three spiders to eat a person
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big ups to oatmeal; the name lets you know it's edible! big downs to mealworms.
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the jet black 800-foot walls lined with unknown skulls depress me too honey but we both agreed WAR CUBE was the best house we could afford
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REMEMBER THE 9Ds: DARKNESS DREAD DESPAIR DYSTOPIA DELUSION DENIAL DESTRUCTION DEATH DOG. STOP LAUGHING. WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE THAT ONE
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a dog's nose is his doorbell, don't push it *DINGWOOF* dude what did i JUST SAY [hatch opens on top of dog. a smaller dog pops his head out]
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corporations are people because people are corporations made of trillions of cells that survive by destroying+consuming weaker corporations
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joe biden: where am i
ruth bader ginsburg: did you bring toilet
rush limbaugh: please tell me this guy brought toilet
ronald reagan: toilet?
aaliyah: we don't have toilet in heaven :(
mussolini: il toilete??
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oppa DILBERT style !!
wow, tweet 666 comin' up. oh damn! it's a SICK tweet. new era for u-limb. new style. better than dogs! better than hell dude! here it comes:
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the best biome is crater. crater living, crater shopping, many advantages
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WELCOME TO PRANKNET. PICK OPTION:
1> DECEIVE OTHER [1 DAY]
2> DECEIVE SELF INTO BELIEVING YOU ARE THIS BODY YOU'RE EXPERIENCING [364 DAYS]
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studied abroad? *grins* yeah, i've studied a broad... variety of this world's offerings and found no solution to my inescapable mortality ;)
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Hello, this is Rachel from Catholder Services. We're calling to inform you about an issue with your cat. He says you aren't holding him.
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he's a good dog, if you can see him, or even remember him at all. i'm not so sure i even have a dog, but that's the nature of faint bernards
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20 years ago the shitposting community was still in its infancy and we didn’t have as many posting techniques yet so we just looked at the same picture of a butthole every day
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i had a good time learning about video games :] the first game character was Mario the Wanderer, who seeks what has been lost. the second game character was Luigi the Wanderer, who seeks what has been lost
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an old achewood panel rotted away and philippe fell out. he wanders the site's php, begging to be let back in, but onstad, like god, is dead
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"man i'm sick of tv shooting for the lowest common dominator," drones man controlled by one of the largest, rarest dominators (psy-owl hive)
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STOP pouring out muscle milk 40s to honor your fallen bros!! curb outside the gym dangerously swole and veiny, impossible to navigate
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Review: Doritos (Tunnel Flavor): 200 FEET INTO BAG AND STILL NO CHIPS JUST FUNGUS + ROOT SYSTEMS OF WHAT TASTES LIKE A COOL RANCH TREE GROVE
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War On Xmas Continues As Neighbors Say Jesus Was Born In A Manger Not "Found In A Mine" & That Their Kids Are Trapped In My Nativity Tunnels
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@tacobell
lost for 6 days now in floors 70-80 of Taco Tower Value Meal. not even any food in here. just traps. why do you sell this
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If you are just waking up now, 1) Everyone not named Tom is dead. We don't know what happened or why. 2) Yes, we already renamed it "Tomblr"
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There I was, the first Libertarian President of bark bark damn it mom the dog stays outside this is my speech-to-text time
#NaNoWriMoOpeners
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save cash at the grocer! fill veggies w/ helium until your voice hits the resonant frequency of the chains binding consciousness to the body
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in the movie speed the bus hit a baby carriage but only cans come out. how did the baby do that and what are his powers now
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the shootings will only get worse as jodie foster gets milfier
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figured out a solution: biden drops out as the dem nominee and kamala replaces him but then biden runs as third party so you can still vote for him if you miss him
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what's the "use tunnels & dreams" checkbox on googlemaps? how do i turn "slight inward toward memory of house with iron floors (toll shaft)"
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lou malnati’s is the best choice for this bc they put cheddar on their pizza to twist the knife
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if you're sick of seeing unknown numbers calling your phone i made a handy chart that can help
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being caught by the Sufferluffagus is a much more precise and detailed agony than the dreamlike violence of Big Blurred
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wow! can't believe i found a place to buy a wolf pupy online! [opens huge box labeled WASP PUPAE]
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Hello Ed. You don't know me, but I know you. I want to play a game. Here's what happens if you lose. When the timer in the back goes off, a nuclear device will destroy most of the eastern seaboard. There is only one way to disable the device: sucking hog in a sissy maid dress.
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goofus achieves wonders like instantaneous global communication and interplanetary travel but remains governed by his own decay. gallant too
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WEAR COLORS OUTSIDE THE IRISH VISIBLE SPECTRUM + SPEAK ABOVE IRISH AUDIBLE RANGE TODAY, TOMORROW, ALL DAYS UNTIL WE ESCAPE THIS BLARNEY CUBE
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say what you will but MIA and kanye both had the decency to stop being good at music before going on infowars
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if you die, get your ashes stored in ceramic dog vessel. looks like dog ash, throws off ash hunters.
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(scrape scrape scrape) scraping hard or hardly scraping? haha. of course we scrape as hard as we can.
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there's more than one way to skin a cat ;) whole lot more ways ;) some you learn by accident while petting someone's cat ;) i'm really sorry
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condolences but our sponsors wish to remind you that social media is a worthwhile use of what fleeting time precedes the unknowable darkness
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[nuts weaker than expected and bolts upright] that’s not him. there’s someone else in the mr met suit
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whatever’s next after crypto and ai must be really big and cool! all the rats scurried off the ship to go get it
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[supportively] have you considered letting shame guide you astray from the self?
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the celeb that exists only as an abstract now exists here in deeper abstraction. the celeb has tweeted you! in the distance, you have a body
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my pitch for a "gritty reboot of myself" isn't going so well; all the pre-schools say i can't enroll at 28
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EASTER EGG: drag the google street view dude onto a pic of a sleeping friend to enter his dream & explore his deepest fears in full panorama
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