Zimkita
@Umkhitha
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Ramorata's Mommy. Proudly CA(SA). 100% pro women. Myself, no matter the cost. Mommy to a Scoliosis, RPS warrior💚💚🧡🧡. Writer & Independent Thought Leader.
Joined May 2012
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Pinned Tweet
Today 3 days before I turn 45, I finally lauch my website💃💃💃💃 ()
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Divorce is central to my rise and success. The marriage institution almost destroyed my career and brand. It's the most successful part of my comeback🥰🥰🥰
Well done on your achievements, but I don’t think the divorced part was supposed to be included. Just me…
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Young women, pls never absorb this shame. People reveal themselves when it suits them
I dated for 7 yrs (age 19 -26), married thereafter for 4. Only had a child once married. A white wedding that cost R130k, in 2004.
I'm in the same queues as you & society is as cruel to me too
Women speak of their baby daddies like they were assigned by the government and they had no choice in the matter.
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1) My 17 yr old has been going to 5 star restaurants since 10. Her favorite restaurant is Signature. If anyone asks her to choose a place for a date, she'd say Signature and expects to pay for her meal & drinks. She takes her friends, cousins there and pays with her savings
High end restaurant & you’re not my hun?
Forget it
Also a lot of Huns have loser energy & you only get to see this after 10mins of chilling with them.
Ice cream date first then we can establish whether or not this is going to progress into anything positive
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1) I'm a 46 yr old Mom to a 17yr, I saw nothing wrong with your outfit to a festival. And yes, I'd let my daughter go to the festival wearing that outfit. I'd let her go to the beach wearing a tiny bikini.
I also know you're not dressing for any one's validation, especially men
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I respect this view.
But I tell my 17 yr old, it wouldn't bother me. I lived with her Dad, my ex, for 5 yrs. Till this day, despite all, I credit that man for the foundation of my success.
I wouldn't be a CA today. Even a big part of my personality comes from that 5 yrs.
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After 7 yrs we got married. He hung out with "wiser" older married toxic men, who believed in African Ways, submission & other toxicity.
We had our daughter, he wanted to khekheleza & for me to parent alone & to stop working and be a housewife.
I filed for a divorce at yr 11.5.
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@ted_pops
Grown-ups should never be required to submit to other grown-ups.
Human beings (ALL) should consciously work at being leaders. By being kind, compassionate, have empathy, healing their own hurt prior to leading others. It's not something that's just passed on. We all worked hard.
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I'm 45, extremely successful all round, earning a great salary and dating. In the 14 years I've been divorced, with a child, I've never not had men asking me out.
Women have no expiry date, it was a SCAM to get them to labour and age earlier in their late teens and twenties.
Women do not expire with age,
Women they don't expire with a body count (remaining a virgin for me is a choice more than anything 💁🏾),
Women do not expire with children,
Dear women, you are wonderfully made in Gods image - you will always be effortlessly gorgeous.
🙏🏾🌿❤️😀💫
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I get judged the same by black people. No questions asked. There is no special treatment for the former self righteous, veil covering their face women.
No matter how much homework you do, black people are not that kind to black women.
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I find this take interesting. I know of many couples either married or living together where the husband / partner blows money on random women & the wife / partner is left to provide monthly. They go to clubs and swipe children school fees. Are they not "Her" in society’s eyes.
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Since I was a little girl I always dreamt of creating a legacy in my own name.
I dated for 7 years before getting married, to a person who helped become a CA.
Still for me the marriage institution piled up so much responsibility on me. I was tired to the bone, parented alone.
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I never agree with this take.
The reason BW in SA, at least, are being scammed, is because we are mostly taught that building, giving and not being seen as a gold digger are honorable virtues.
Even own families scam BW. Giving but their financial labour never acknowledged.
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I was seething in resentment. Parenting hands on, but not present, my then 2 yr old was frustrated with me.
Also I'm CA, I work with young talent. I can't afford to be stewing in resentment & toxicity. I nurture the most remarkable future leaders not only for SA but globally.
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Zimkita Mabindla (CA)SA - Director & Partner : KPMG
No one inspires me more than the young people of my profession. You are the miracle that the current crisis is pointing at. Let's continue with the work of rebuilding public trust.
📸
@_tendaimhlanga
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"Why do you share your life so openly?" they ask
Me: Pushing 46, I'm a cocktail of every failure patriarchy ascribes to women - divorced, single parenting, sole providing. Independent corporate executive, bound to expire and die alone & sad. I'm totally afraid of cats, so...
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As a divorced single parent Mommy, I have seen this. Also women letting their husbands / partners off the hook when it comes to parenting and expecting their childless girlfriends to pick up the slack. "He doesn't like queues at theme parks, so I will ask my friend to come with"
Problem is y'all have children and then expect your friends to "co-parent" with you.
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As a BW inCorporate, I don't think this tone defines her daily natural leadership style especially young people.
This is a tone BW reserve for situations where there's just no other solutions to the disrespect, negging, 2nd guessing, and being undermined
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1) To : Black Women - CA Trainees and Managers
In 2023, alone, both within and outside the firm - with clients, I've had about more than 20 incidents, where I've had to call people out (including globally) and use stern language and set boundaries with their disrespect...
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@Thaaaato26
Not sure if you're joking. But I got married in,Toadbry Hall in Muldersdrift and I had 120 guests. The professional photographers, professional florists and a honey moon in Singapore and Malaysia. I had a dress designed, and had all the frills. Yeah🙂. Totally planned marriage
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#45
- what a journey💃💃💃💃
A whole 2*Big 4 Audit Partner, signatory of Top 100 JSE listed company large components, a writer - The Real View. Developer, nurturer of responsible business leaders.
First, foremost & always Ramorata's Samthanda Musashi Motshegare's Mommy❤❤.
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7) Maybe the right approach is to ask how they envisage the bill will be settled, rather than making assumptions. Trying to trick them to drop their standards because you can't afford their preferred meeting place? Don't pretend to be at their level and then insult them.
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3) Man : Ladies, I know, I meant soft drinks
Ramo: We're children, we don't accept drinks from grownups without parents present
She says, he looked offended & so angry
Other young BW aged 15 - 25 report the same. Men angry at them when they decline their "unsolicited generosity"
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5) This assumption that they choose these because they are hungry and taking up an apportunity to go there for the 1st time must end. High end restaurants are normally filled by majority young BW on their own with no men present.
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@GodPenuel
This is my story and in my story it was all bunched the same. You can also elevate yours where you experienced it differently.
Believe me humanity us capable of processing different views. You don't have to silence my story for yours to have space.
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So I never want to be self righteous to her and to young people. Vat 'n Sit did work for me🙈🙈🙈🙈
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While dating & married, I was provided for, & I was not special & did nothing special. I dated & married a logical thinking man, until he chose not to be anymore and I left. We must stop with this exceptionalism. Grown-ups make choices, it has nothing to do with you as a woman
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@lub_adam
Yes I did. I was seething in resentment and disappointment because I was parenting the child we had discussed for years alone
I was asked to give up my career so his could thrive while I would be an African woman, staying at home defined by labouring.
IT WAS NEVER OUR DEAL
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I know myself, since I was a child, I have always been the most ambitious and strategic, determined person.
To give that all up would have made me such an evil person. My daughter & I carry big scars from that fallout. I'd do it all over again. A happy woman = a happy daughter
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4) Part of the reason that BW before had no opportunity to go to these places was because we grew up under apartheid.
In modern-day SA, most young women you'll meet would have been going to high-end and fine dining restaurants as part of their lifestyle
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2) Last year, her friend and her were in Melrose Arch - both 16yrs. They chose to go to the Grillhouse.
She says they met a middle-aged black man there ( someone to her who looked like he was 30 or 32).
Man: Ladies, can I buy you drinks?
Ramo: Thanks Sir, we're underage
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I love you for this. There is nothing that concerns me more than young BW being indoctrinated to believe that their worth is in menial labouring. I have held various corporate leadership positions. Nothing delays and destroys BW's careers more than this scarcity limited thinking.
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He picked me up and dropped me off at clients. He gave me his 1st Tazz when he upgraded. He taught me how to drive. We partied a storm.
I could study- I had a bit of control over my home space.
Everyone in the firm treated me better bcoz - her boyfriend took her so seriously.
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This I suspect is also why most women stay in absolutely diabolical romantic relationships.
It also makes them absolutely mean spirited when they see those they deemed impure thriving & living their best lives. We really need to unshackle young women from the purity culture.
Women who were taught to overly value virginity as girls truly develop a complex when they finally let it go.
Because for years it's so central to who they are and how they value themselves as human beings.
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Am 45, dated & married 1 person - 11.5 yrs. Divorced - 13 yrs. Have a 16 yr old daughter.
Am uber successful. Been asked for marriage twice in 13 yrs.
Dating a man I love to bits who's younger & one of the best humans I kno - 2.5 yrs.
These don't scare us women, no more.
Women out here giving each other advice on how to juggle nikkas. When y'all in your 20's y'all be thirsting for the streets but come 30 and beyond y'all ready to settle that pocket dragging it's lips on the asphalt in order to use it against the nikkas y'all didn't want.
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And we will continue🤭🤭🤭.
I urge, especially BW CAs never to participate in SAns humility politics. It's a kiss of death to their careers.
Shout as loud as you can, get a loud speaker - You are a CA, thought leading, intelligent, resilient, strategic, brave..
Mabagcwale...
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@_Teegan__
@PILLAY_CGLM
Oh Mommy the things I've done😂😂😂😂😂. When every negotiation tactic fails and you realise you are in the presence of an intelligent and strategic terrorist🤣🤣🤣🤣
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My 16 year old Ramo💞❤❤❤❤, a whole PowerPoint presentation for my birthday. And it was giving her so much drama this a.m., she says she had to post a WhatsApp status while fixing it🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
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@NiphoMrG
There was the finances part, and there was the belief that marriage for women should mean extreme laboring at the expense of careers.
Parenting beliefs,for me, was a concern. If people agree to bring a human being here, they must commit to nurturing said human.
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Thank so much for the wonderful engagement🥰🥰🥰. Young black women, we are in desperate need of your progressive, sustainable leadership. Africa will only rise, once we truly share our stories of courage and what we have achieved despite all the systems designed to keep us down.
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2) I was born in 1977, pre-teen, teenage, and early 20's years were an absolute nightmare.
We never saw a variety of BW, celebrating & owning their gorgeous forms, shapes and bodies. It was so tough. We had 2-4 supermodels - who lied to us & said they eat burgers / pizza daily
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Congratulations to all those who wrote their APC exams, whether you made it or not - what a remarkable achievement. Forward we go. I am so super proud of all of you.
We are so fortunate you chose the profession. Our amazing future leaders👏👏👏👏👏👏🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
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@upendo_nzuri
We all can know the level of accountability required to raise children when they are born. History tells us - BW are just much better and superior when it comes to accountability.
We really need to start celebrating ourselves as black women & not rely on the larger society.
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Young people , please put your money in a fixed deposit account or an endownment policy. That way, when you say you don't have access, it's the truth. A day after you get paid, transfer to your fixed deposit account b4 people come to you with their problems.
A colleague told me she had been saving to buy a car, very excited too. Ore when she got home for the holidays, they told her she hadn't been sending enough money for them so they have debts and the house needs to be fixed. Ore half of the money she saved, is spent already 😭
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Ms Zimkita Mabindla CA(SA). Nurturer of the best, most brilliant and brightest of South African talent.
I've nurtured fellow Big4 Audit Partners, CEOs & CFOs of listed and unlisted companies & successful leaders of sustainable organizations.
📸 - Vision28 Studios
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To young BW CAs - and only to you.
A thread....
1) I tried to mize the various responses to this post. BW individualising and exceptionalising a sytemic issue.
Please go through the overwhelming responses to this post of black women subscribing to exceptionalism.
Marriage is really one of the biggest setbacks for women and I wish they’d see that. Woah
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Sorry to be quoting you so much. Young people are allowed to make mistakes, so that they can learn. Punitive leadership is one thing I detest. Some people would call me and report that one of my Managers messed up thinking I will just into that and be angry..
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@ted_pops
Thank you. I don't believe in it. Even my daughter never has to submit to me. She is a leader in her own right. We are all leaders.
Life is a journey of leading ourselves and others, towards wh we were meant to be and the contribution we were meant to make.
But thanks.
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@khanyipru
Marriage is beautiful if the people in it apply the golden rule 'do to others as you would like done to you'. That's my opinion. If you won't like not being helped with housework, parenting, your ambitions sacrificed, cheated on, then don't do it to the person you claim to love.
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Congratulations to all the newly qualified CAs (SA). I'm so happy and proud of you.
If you didn't make it, I failed my 1st board twice. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the journey is more important than the outcome. It's in the journey that we find who we're meant to be.
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😂I nurture and develop CA(SA)s. Thousands have passed through my training for 14years. I imbued them with competence and confidence. They are now starting to take up leadership positions.
So every day I pause and reflect, on the kind of magnificent leader who remembers me well.
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When my Ramo was almost 7, she came to my room and asked what l did for work. I was a Snr Mngr at a Big 4 firm at the time. She then gave me career advice that, she thinks I should have chosen to be a cashier at Pick 'n Pay
Guys please send me some stories about your kids/nephews and nieces to cheer me up.
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Dear Young CAs. I've a well diversified career path over 24 years. I've successfully led finance functions and external audits. I've stood on international stages in front of international C-Suite executives and presented. I produce my own thought leadership. I can go on...
CA(SA)s are ill-equipped to do anything else other than work for the Big 4 accounting firms. The entire syllabus is designed by and for these companies. SAICA exists to produce workers for the Big 4.
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At age 32, I was married after a 7 yr relationship for 4.5 years. Had a gorgeous 2yr old. Financed my studies to be a CA, my husband doing well financially.
I was a Group Financial Reporting Analyst of a JSE listed telecoms company.
Still, expectations were coming hard & fast.
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Every time life throws me serious curveballs, and there have been many over my almost 46 years. I pause and remember that - while it might be hard, painful, hurtful, and unfair, my track record of transcending these has so far been 100%.
I live in constant gratitude🙏🙏
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When my Ramo was about 9 yrs old, she called me out on smacking and said "Mommy I see you angry and not agreeing with other people all the time and you never smack them. You smack me because I'm small. If smacking was good, you will be smacking everyone who makes you angry"🙈🙈
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8) What a sad way to live & most of them the ending too. As BW, seeking validation on anything is a "KISS OF THE MOST PAINFUL DEATH".
Sorry for the thread... and thank you, to all of you who post.
What society, doesn't tell you - You're literally enhancing & changing lives
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@d_nkitseng
You are too kind Sir🥰, at least you recognize that I am soldier, truly appreciate you for your loud acknowledgement🙏🙏🙏
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@Zamangethe12
They can't shame the unashamed😂😂😂😂. The success of the institution has been for years achieved at great career sacrifice by women. It's a good institution, no doubt, but not at the cost of my legacy - I will be remembered.
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I've to submarine again, I probably will resurface in April.
To young CAs, trainees, students. Until I come back - remember. You are our future, the responsible leaders who I am betting everything on, to lean in and sustainably transform, banking, financial, commercial systems
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Thank you
@saica_ca_sa
for the profile🙏🙏🙏. It is an absolute honor. I am truly humbled and grateful.
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But, I am at any moment - the very best of me I can be. While it might not be the laboring, mulling, self-sacrificing / flagellating woman, patriarchy approves of. I'm in this moment, knowing myself having the best life that was meant for me.
I hope it inspires other women.
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4) The older BW around us, demonized us for growing, for boobs, for having a butt - cruel and unkind (mostly married - I now understand the Depths of Hades they also existed in😳😳). Those of us lucky to access magazines and publications, tried hard to find women affirming us..
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@Kagiesure
What is your definition of ruin?
Being a CA and, above all being a Mommy, made me more successful as a person and leader. I have more clarity of the legacy I want to leave in my own name, and that is exactly what I have now. And the love from daughter, family and partner.
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@NdinguLucree
@ZumaYolanda
@Thaaaato26
I was asked to sacrifice my ambitions and career. Live a life of a housewife which was never my ambition. I was asked to sacrifice my career and ambitions so that his could thrive and he could parent 5%, while taking credit for my work.
That was never our deal
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I'm a thought leader, I am a leader in the profession. I lead young women. I have transcended all oppression and oppressive systems. I AM Zimkita Mabindla. The world knows and will remember my name. I have stood on front of global leaders and convinced them of my intellect
@Umkhitha
@comfort_himslv
@MasekoValencia
Lol I’m a CA too mam I’m just a man so I’m incognito. I’m not here to brag as well. Don’t look down on men cause you have money, I need to get the womanly value from you which doesn’t include cash.
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6) So, gorgeous Thato, and all other beautiful young BW here and posting photos of what you're told are - half naked photos. I know the positive impact you're making. There's a pre-teen, teen out there, who you are literally saving from a life time of insecurity...
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@MrTsoks
@Xoliswa06
Maintenance and Home Affairs and going to lawyers for my child to travel to New York and Disney world - which we won at a cost of R11k
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Was being told we can't have 2 Beyonce's in a group. I agreed, but was sure that my talents make me the Beyonce of this particular duo.
I have been super successful for the past 13 years, while sole parenting and sole providing as a backlash from that era. Am super grateful.
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To all the young people on their CA(SA) journey.
Yes, the outcome is important, but the journey is what will teach you life lessons.
When things get tough, especially, in these uncertain and difficult times. Remember, to focus on the journey and take it one day at a time💓💓
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7) Also Thato, pay no mind to any of the respectability angles. All my life, I've attended weddings of cousins & other close BW. They'd be selected, we were told because they're respectable.
They endured a lifetime of cruelty, public humiliation, lives soaked in deluges of tears
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@nokie555
Eish for me raising children is a leadership choice we make every day and every minute.
If one brings an innocent human into the world, they must commit to being leaders, with love that leads to action, empathy, compassion and kindness. It's a conversation to be had.
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We need to teach our daughters different. Muling / building and never asking for anything are not virtues. It's abuse.
We need to learn to teach our daughters to moderate their generosity.
They must only give, when they have ascertained tangible value.
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3) We had models, mostly looking mixed - the closest to black / brown skin, telling us "I use Lux" for their skin to be so glorious.
The only time my then 14 yr old showed empathy and gave me hugs for days on how I grew up is when I shared this information with her.
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True🤣🤣🤣. That's why I advise young women who value getting married to focus on their career success.
Sanity prevails once women start holding financially advantageous positions. From "I will never date a woman with a child" to "I want to be a father to your daughter"🤭
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Uthandwa ngumamakhe ndzeeee❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh what a beautiful journey it has been my Ramo. Above all else, all credentials, all accolades, I'm a Mommy to the most amazing future leader. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy💞💞💞💞💞
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My CA(SA) brand and a 12 year history of keeping its promise on women empowerment.
I am Zimkita Mabindla (CA) SA
#WomensDay
@saica_ca_sa
- as always I am super grateful for our brand.
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@Lioness79457760
How was it a danger if we saved and planned for it? Not sure I understand why a planned celebration of love is a danger. A lot of other races in my midst were investing much more an some are also divorced.
Is it because we black that it’s a danger? Black people don't qualify🤔
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1) My last thread for 2023, will be for Black Single Parenting Moms who don't mind "reading all of that". This is me 19 years ago - October 2004.
My daughter Ramorata, has always been and still is fascinated with Disney and all things movies, since she was small...
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This is the reason I'm so happy about social media. Now, women will know that almost all their hardships are systemic and not individual issues, and hopefully, they will demand change or make decisions that prioritize their peace of mind. What a time to be alive.
Patriarchy wants women silent so that we can’t find modes of solution. We have to be silent about periods, sexual assault, marriage, violence, money, dating, health issues, motherhood, pregnancy… all of. Patriarchy wants us to think we have individual problems not systemic ones.
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@MphoMoalamedi
Also, the assumption that if she doesn't want to cook pap, she's coming empty-handed. What if her plan was to pass by Woolies and bring something'nyana and still be awesome company? That's what braais are for, right - being great company, above all else
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Big 4 audit firm - audit partner, former audit partner of another Big 4 firm💃💃💃
I develop & nurture future responsible leaders. Fellow future Big 4 Partners, future Top 100 JSE listed C-Suite Executives & all future leaders of sustainable companies and communities.
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Someone posted a tweet & deleted it, saying I shouldn't brag about working for KPMG.
The firms whether we like them or not nurture talent straight from varsity.
Young black people, & KPMG ones I work with are amazing, need people who look like them to nurture their talents.
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To the 2021 APC candidates. I apologize, I am so sorry. There is nothing just or fair about what has happened.
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Responsibilities were just piling up and as a naturally responsible woman I absorbed everything.
I felt old, wrinkled, and for the first time since 21 - there's a 6 month period I was truly unhappy and ready to burst into tears. I was absorbing so much. And the final straw....
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Which women, the ones who are also only gold diggers in SA?
Let's pick a narrative and stick to it please.
We peeped the scam long ago, our mothers, aunts, & other close women carrying the load mostly alone, even while married for years. Hence, we now refuse to play this game.
Nisebancane kabi. Emshadweni kuqhuma u50/50 bandla, buzani oMa benu.
It may not be 50/50 in a literal sense, but ama vrou financially contribute kuma household.
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No, never. I worked & studied part-time & funded my studies from age 17. We met when I was about to turn 20. And we got married when I was 27.
I tell my daughter there was no conversations of submission in my life ever. Until he started hanging out with older married black men.
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@Thato_Mkk
We need to share our authentic stories,so that the next generation of women don't start from scratch. The institution as is, while good, needs reform, when it comes to its support of women and them creating their monetary wealth & legacy.
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I got nothing against it, but I have 1st hand experience of it being used to steal my self actualization & financial wealth creation.
Including opportunities to create a legacy in my chosen surname.
It's all great if not used to manipulate women to part with their ambitions.
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One more project, 2 in the bag🥰🥰🥰🥰. Got to submarine again.
To all the APC candidates.
1) The secret to success lies in the value the person behind the brand brings.
Always work on the courage, competence, confidence, peace, and resilience of the person behind the brand.
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@ZacMoselane
😂😂😂 if I ever have to even know how to do this I would be so worried. What human being or beings would have so much power over me, to force me to do this. Rather than telling them I really no longer enjoy their chats😂😂😂😂
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@Andanelisa
My CA journey took me 12 years. Studying and working part time. I failed 1st Board twice. Yes the final outcome is important, but it's in the journey where you learn lessons that serve your success for life. Every step is crucial and prepares us for who we are meant to be.
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My 17 year old status🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹. Being a Mommy is my Super Power.
I became a better human and leader the day I became a Mommy.
I'm so blessed my Ramo you chose me to be your Mommy🥰🥰🥰💞💞💞💞
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5) To no avail. No variety of BW for us to say "Yes look at her so proud of her body". So a large number of us, existed on a brink of eating disorders - which also no one who shamed us, understood. I tell my daughter if I wasn't so terrified of throwing up - I'd had bulimia
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@BoetieKhanya
Thanks so much. I was in a better space when I left. 11.5 years of a happy relationship and marriage is a good innings. Being a Mommy also made me a better leader all round and helped me define who I wanted to be remembered as. It's been an awesome life with profound lessons.
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I agree with you. Very stressful people to date if you're a woman seeking to leave her own legacy in life. Petty competition, plagiarizing your ideas, dimming your light, not acknowledging your achievements. You'll perpetually be a mediocre wind beneath their fragile ego'd wings.
Honestly aspiring to date/marry a high earning man seems kinda stressful to me because your plan relies on someone else getting their life together and then choosing you. Plus have you met Investec bros? Imagine spending the rest of your life with one of them? Yiiikes
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