Ugonna
@UgonnaLaCadena
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Pinned Tweet
Thanks to Snapchat , I’ve discovered that I could’ve easily been a Disney princess
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To avoid embarrassment, I will not tell you the exact date I found out that Obi Wan Kenobi was not an Igbo man
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Is it not the same Future that Lori Harvey chop clean mouth then went to find the love of her life? If anything the man is a bridge, you cross over to meet your destiny
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This year, I learned that you can be very grateful and completely heartbroken. ❤️💔
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Baby girl, there are no words. Only tears and rage. I’ve laid you to rest now, I love you forever.
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We don’t talk about how japa “culture” has affected on going and future romantic relationships. Your heart aches because your partner needs to leave the country, you meet a great person but it can’t work cos they’re about to leave for Canada. It’s so sad
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The vagina responded, if I knew the anus was full of shit, I would not have agreed to be his neighbor - Yoruba proverb
"The anus said, If i knew the vagina will have many visitors, i would not have agreed to be her neighbor." - Igbo Proverb
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I’m sitting in my hotel lobby, this man walks in and is staring at me like I’m waiting for one Chief, he doesn’t know I own the building.
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Shaku shaku requires a lot of coordination and fast reflexes. I dunno how I’m supposed to gallop on a horse, salute and make a long distance call at the same time.
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It’s good. You usually shake after deliverance
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I’ve watched too many Nigerian films to not show up when my dad summons me. That’s how they’ll share land without me
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I believe every single woman has had a married man phase, meaning when all your toasters happen to be married men and you’re wondering what you ever did to offend your maker.
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Adekunle is looking at Kim and wondering if he shipped too early
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Babies will come and go. When she’s 16 and insisting you can’t tell her what to do, you will look back on this day and wish you let her starve .
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Have you ever been to Lagos? Have you been with a guy from my city? 🎼🎤
If your man kisses you on your forehead trust me ladies he’s about to wife you up. He ain’t playing games. A man will only kiss two people on the forehead ever, his mother and the girl he’s going to marry.
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Nonso Amadi makes music for self proclaimed good guys. They lead you on forever, then all of a sudden tonight you can’t call their phone
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The funniest part of Linda Ikeji’s epistle is that she kept trying to prove that she’s a virtuous woman. Lmaoooo Nne please, I tifuru paynt meh the thing, chefu okwu nne! Inugo? You’re not the first
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Ladies, stop being threatened by the possibility of not getting married and live your best life . Losing yourself to get what society thinks you need , will only cause you regret when you’ve grown older and realized that YOU are more important than the court of public opinion.
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5 years later.
Can't stand the concept of Amala and ewedu, even the sight of it turns me off. Can't watch anyone eat it
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Until you forget to turn it off and Shola❤️ “is listening to Ebony bbw takes bbc”
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I thought he was a highlife singer, the way you have Oliver De Coque.
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"Ebuka, Uchechi, ,nneoma, kele, immediately i raise the camera, start crying inugo?"
Have mercy on us, Evans wife, Uchenna begs Nigerians
Read more at:
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Kanye has his faults and he is mentally unstable, but I feel people aren’t giving him a chance to explain himself without ridiculing him. He’s talking about something that clearly bothers him and all we’re doing is mocking him. Later we’ll all claim to care about mental health
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You have to be careful how you react to being treated unfairly , cos your reaction can take you from victim to villian real quick and no one would remember it didn’t stem from you
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If it’s to play women, their tactics would be phenomenal, ordinary ball and they can’t even be organized
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Were you there?
if Cinderella can get her Prince Charming without taking her dress off,so can you. (:
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I fell in love with an arsenal fan, now he won't give me title.
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The greatest thing I achieved this year was to not die. Seems really generic and simple, but fam if you know the demons I battled in my head this year, you’d celebrate with me
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Nothing more triggering than when I told a guy I didn’t want his kids cos our sons would be beardless like him and he told me “I trust your genes” cos I’m Igbo 😭
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Today, a plane leaving Lagos for owerri left at 10am and landed back in Lagos at around 12:30. Twenty minutes after the take off the plane dropped suddenly (like your phone falling from your hand) to a lower altitude.
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I am a feminist and I will always publicly identify as one. I am aware that some can use it as a tool to preach the most ridiculousness but I’m also aware that every movement develops a negative side and it’s our job to keep the focus on the truth and push out the nonsense
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The best thing about God not being human is that He doesn't mock you when you come back to him .
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Give your friends money. I’m not saying lend them money, I mean dash them money, and if you have that one friend whose pride won’t let them take it, force them to take it.
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It’s not just that Yoruba men cheat. They have a special way of cheating, they must leave you feeling clinically insane. They will convince you that the sky is purple then tell you it’s just a step away from blue in the end.
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After a certain age, it’s obscenely embarrassing to stay in situations where you want more and the person wants less.
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Whoever first thought to put egg inside stew is definitely resting in the Lord. Bless your soul Queen 🙏
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I hate when women come up with embarrassing excuses as to why a man isn’t into them. It’s just life mehn, even if you’re the most beautiful.
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Conte slapped the ground like he was begging ogun to release morata’s legs
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Sometimes, bae is just busy . Bae is not cheating, bae has not lost interest. Bae is just busy
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This your jollof has the wrong shade of foundation
Home or away... Jollof is certain any which way!
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I just witnessed the purest form of love in church today. An older couple shared the grace together and ended it with a kiss. It was so beautiful! Then they noticed I was struck by that and they both kissed my cheeks! I swear! Awwwwww
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There are way too many terrible takes about this asoebi matter. If your friend can’t afford your asoebi, tell her to wear what she has and come. Rescinding your invitation is cruel and poor. She already feels bad enough that’s she’ll look different from everyone else
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Lmaoooooooo I named my late dog Marlon and went to London, returned home for Christmas and he kept ignoring me when I said his name till the chef said “gaddafi” and he ran to him 😭
I named my dog Bijoux and asked my parents to call her as such so she’d be used to it since they’re home with her most of the time. I got home last night and they were calling her Godsway.
WHY???
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It’s crazy how many people are amazed when women who are 35 and older have men willing to spoil them. You should see some of our 50 to 60 something year old mummies . Those ones are are being gifted deep treasures
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Free it, He will still cheat with Nkechi who doesn’t know offside
I wish I can watch and understand football, I envy ladies who do, I feel its one of those things that makes relationship stronger.
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It’s crazy how wenger rested his players against United, just for costa to separate bellerin from the ball like he didn’t want his opinion
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Isn’t it easier to make good music?
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I’m so glad and grateful that I’ve reached a point in my life where my love for God doesn’t stem from fear that he’ll punish me or send me to hell for not being perfect. It is in my sin that I found His love and it is eternal.
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I need a serious win . My spirit has already assured me of my win but I’m human. I am impatient and sometimes doubtful. So I need something to keep my spirit up and my faith strong
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many arguments & jokes by those “who know politics” but if Peter Obi does not emerge president of Nigeria, then it’s our loss not his. It is not his family’s loss too, they are set. We should be completely horrified that party politics restricts us from having effective leaders
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There’s this silly need for women to justify their Money and career with domestic duty. I’m a billionaire but I still wash my husband’s boxers and other short stories.
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I understand every Igbo dialect except that Mandarin of Ebonyi people and the Hindi of ngwa.
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People don’t have to be going through anything for us to know to be kind to them. If they’re having the time of their lives, don’t mess with their peace, if they’re going through hell, don’t mock their trials.
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My whole heart is gone. The love of my life has left me. I will never be the same.
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It’s like they’re sharing this love like party pack and they always skip me
The love of my life asked me to be with him forever.
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I don’t know when the Federal government is gonna hold Air Peace accountable for the incidents with their flights.This is the third time since September that people have been afraid that they’ll lose their lives . This is my friend’s story from the Lagos to Enugu flight yesterday
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If you catch yourself falling for a Yoruba man, tell someone to keep slapping you till you faint. I swear it works
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All Yoruba men wanna do is bring people together though. Look how prisca has found her namesake
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Gun control, Boko haram and Donald Trump, and you think God has time to punish your ex for breaking your heart? Ordinary heart
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If I earn 10 times your salary, I am not your colleague, I am your madam.
A friend who works in a multinational company realised yesterday that the female colleague he wants to ask out in his office earns about 1.5 Million Naira while he earns 150,000 Naira.
Should he go ahead or just pause considering the fact that the babe might know his salary?
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Lol daughters of Chimamanda are familiar with the Nordic way of naming. We also know that if the players were female it’ll end with Dottir.
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Chelsea fans didn’t even get to finish their “we don’t deserve hazard” tweets before Jamaat scored 😂
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The men I felt were good enough for me at 23 do not cut it at 27. People grow and change , and change comes with painful realizations and decisions. When it comes to love, I’d rather be a happy asshole than a miserable hero
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Guyss at home please tune to AIT and watch some policeman defend SARS and saying it isn’t a crime to search you and look at your phone. Such nonsense he’s spewing
#SARSMUSTEND
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Can't wait till AJ starts dating a white woman so shea butter melanin twitter can lose their minds 😂
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As your lives look much better 10 years since then, so may it continue for many more decades to come. You may begin to look much older but your life will always look much better as the years pass. Amen
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It’s okay to get rejected. Sometimes you didn’t dodge a bullet, you are the bullet.
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Sex is great and all, but have you watched arsenal suffer before?
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As half of a yellow sun readers , our obsession with Kainene’s disappearance is the same and even worse for those who experienced the Biafran war. There are many unanswered questions, many loved ones who went out and never came back home. No body, no funeral.
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I'm just waiting for one of my friendzoned friends to make sweet money, then i'll set leg so he can fall into my arms
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Trash girls really disgust me, how have you no self respect ? You can be as sexually free as you wish without being stupid and messy. Why on earth do you want the world to know you slept with an artiste? Why would you violate a person’s privacy like that? I don’t understand
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You can’t lose 4-0 and claim you were the better team . It doesn’t add up
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I don’t know what’s going on but
@flyairpeace
and the Nigerian aviation are using lives to play chess. This completely shook my day cos my mother was on that plane . Someone who hates flying and is hypertensive. She had to purposely stay calm or risk losing her life either way.
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Come and join me sing hallelujah. I am now a grandma of 5! NALA! My baby gave me babies! So grateful and thankful for a wonderful pregnancy and safe delivery. Mum is doing well and so are her babies. Welcome to the world my loves❤️🙏💕
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Lmaoo I never thought I’d be the one to go back to a tweet to celebrate. But yeah, I’ve spent this entire week interviewing over 30 potential staff for me. I really can’t believe it
Ive been asking God for a new opportunity, then a lady met me at the bank and asked me for a job. LMAOOO God are you mocking me?
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The Nigerian passport is limiting, you can get a visa but the process can be horrendous. The way you’re treated when arrived at said airport is amusing. It is not the best for emergency trips if you don’t have the visa already.if you can afford to change it for your kids, do it
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Really and I mean, really. Don’t ever think it can’t happen to you. Cos life na naked wire
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Been doing this life thing for a minute . It’s been a crazy experience so far, but God’s grace has been abound . Happy birthday to me.
#Chapter28
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Roses are red, Violets are blue.
Your passport is too.
Nwokeoma kedu?
Officially received my US citizenship today. Thankful for all the opportunities this country has presented me. 🇺🇸🗽
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And perhaps South Africa would’ve given Messi a run for his money but your country is too busy butchering women to qualify
Today is the day we have learnt that Nigerians know nothing about football.. You thought you'd defeat Argentina when Messi's on the pitch? Goodluck Jonathan is appalled
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#SecondarySchoolInNigeria
tuck shop during break . "Aunty dupe one meat pie"
http://t.co/IJvHM7tQDo
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