World Traveller, Parent, 🏳️⚧️ She/Her, Fixer of Broken Things, Bagger of Trigs, Climber of mountains, Paddler of Boards, Host of The Joy Tuck Club podcast
Transitioning is like throwing a stone in to a pond, the ones closest bear the brunt of the impact, but the ripples spread out affecting many, all we can do is hope we can all hold on until the surface becomes calm again
Got a Xmas card from my mum addressed and written to my deadname, my wife can't understand why I put it in the bin and is getting angry at me telling me I have to realise it's hard for some people.
Is she right? 🤷🏻♀️
I'm not even that bothered that my mum does this, I'm annoyed that my wife is weighing in on something she clearly has no frame of reference or understanding of and making out that I've done something wrong by not wanting the card around
A call from my 5 yo daughter who calls me mummy, to wish me happy fathers day was bitter sweet, I loved talking to her as I won't get to see her, but my ex in the background prompting her to call me "daddy" and "he" was tough, unnecessary and just spiteful.
My 24hrs with my daughter is over and the difficult task of returning her to her mother is made harder when she starts crying and tells me "I wanna stay here with you Daddy"
Then we were both crying 😭
Wife had a bad day yesterday, so I ring her when I'm on a break at work to see if she's OK and she tells me she's done and wants me to move out. Now I just have to avoid everyone for 6 hours so they can't see me crying
I'm devastated, my marriage has been on life support for the 7 months since I came out to my SO, this morning she decided she can't live like this and has pulled the plug on our relationship.Time of death 08:13 10/09/20 💔
@nerfcrucifix
He seemed genuinely perplexed when I told him that comment upset me and couldn't really grasp the fact that by asking that he was insinuating I'm not a woman
Taking some time to reflect today and it just blows my mind that I'm sitting here 100% myself, dressed in a way that 2 years ago I would have only been able to in very rare private moments and that this is my life now, this is me 💜
Leaving work this morning after a night shift, I pass my bosses boss who is not know for being friendly and she says "Morning Rachel, you look lovely"
It amazes me how a genuine complement from someone feels so validating and uplifting.
Do you see it cos I didn't feel it?
I've spent 40 years trying to be what everyone expects me to be and now I'm being honest with myself I'm being selfish and not considering other people?
Had probably my best Xmas ever, spent all day on the verge of tears because I was feeling so euphoric, wife gave me clothes and make up but the best gift was spending the day as Rachel and it just being normal, so happy right now
@TheTrzTourist
You're absolutely correct. My ex makes out that my daughter is struggling with my transition, but the reality is she is transferring her feelings onto our daughter who simply sees me for who I am and labels me as such, for her it's quite simple
A year ago I wouldn't leave the house as myself until after dark and would actively avoid all people. Today I took the dog for a walk in the middle of the day wearing a dress and sandals with painted nails, not caring who sees me or what they think
So this is me as stripped back as you'll ever see, no make-up, no false lashes or nails and fresh out of the shower, why? Because today is BA day!
I put on my B cup bra for the last time this morning 😁
Something wonderful has happened, after my male day yesterday to diy, my wife said that it was weird seeing me like that and today she has said that she no longer sees me as a man and is going to use my correct pronouns and start calling me her partner
Discussion with my wife this morning about finances has turned in to an attack on me about how I lied to her for 15yr, should have dealt with being trans before I met her and how I will never understand the betrayal to her that is worse than having an affair
Went out for dinner at a friend's a couple of nights ago and it was the first time I've gotten dressed up since my BA and therefore the first outing for the girls. Turns out I may have ended up bigger than I was expecting which is a lovely surprise.
@danidonovan
My wife was undiagnosed until her late 30's and feels she's the common factor in all her failed friendships. I wish she could see that they're the problem not her and that I love her for who she is not in spite of it
Happy Mothers Day, as a transgender woman I always have an uneasy relationship with these days, my children call me Dad, and for most of their upbringing I was their father and ackowledge that I always will be to them, but my need to be recognised as my gender is strong
1/3
Everyone has gone out and I'm supposed to be tidying up but my sons girlfriend gave me a bag of her old clothes, caught a glimpse of leopard print so now I'm having a fashion show, I couldn't resist
Taking a chance today and wearing some pleather/wet look leggings, I feel that not a lot of people can pull them off but I'm hoping I can cos I love them.
The hardest part is neither one of us has done anything wrong, we are just being true to ourselves, but I feel like its all my fault. I still love her so much it hurts but she doesn't feel connected to me anymore.
Trying to pinpoint the exact moment I fell down a rabbit hole and entered an alternate universe where my wife gives me a lace negligee and a silk nightie and is ok about me wearing them
Rare family outing to the beach today, as we were passing the toilets
Me: Just need to go to toilet.
Wife: OK, I think the men's are...
Me: *walks away*
Wife: Oh you're going in the ladies.
Where else would I go?
Received some advice today "Transitioning is f*cking hard, you can't do it alone, if you try it can literally kill you, find one person that you can call at 2 in the morning and say things are sh*t"
@estro_femme
When I 1st came out, that was one of the things they said they were going to do, but over a year later and they still haven't, so I'm going to push them to sort out some training
Wife wants to separate and has found somewhere else to live, seeing her so happy about this is making me sad but more angry. I realise this it what it must have felt like for her seeing me get happy with each step towards Rachel I took
Wife: We need to have the talk with our daughter about you
Me: I don't think so, she gets it
Wife (to daughter): Is mummy a girl or a boy?
Daughter: A girl
Wife (to daughter): Is daddy a boy or a girl?
Daughter: A girl
Me: Good talk
Last night
Wife: What are you watching?
Me: Eurovision
Wife: In the 15 years we've been together I've never know you watch eurovision!
Me (in my head): 15 years of hiding I'm trans and you're
a) focusing on that
b) surprised
Seeing the inlaws for the 1st time since coming out so they've never met Rachel. Part of me thinks I should dress neutral to make it easier for them to get used to. But I don't really like them so leopard print dress it is.
It's been 4 days since I last saw my little girl and the heartache grows worse with every passing minute, since I moved out none of my friends or family have messaged to ask how I am.
If I disappeared would anyone even notice or care?
Probably not 💔
OMFG went out for a walk and having a chat with my wife and she says that maybe once I've transitioned to Rachel we should get our vows renewed! I could barely keep it together, idk what has happened to make her have such a change of attitude but I'll take it
Sorting out clothes and came across this crop top that I bought before my egg cracked so I tried it on, my wife said"you're too old for short tops, you're nearly 50 not 15"
My response, here Twitter have a crop top selfie
Got to try and pull self together and act like everything is OK for a 12hr shift with my wife's words "I'd like you to move out" bouncing round my head
Me and my little princess at my nieces 18th fancy dress party, had a great time, was a bit awkward for everyone at first, probably because they didn't expect me to look so hot 🤣
Help we saw the UK's leading etiquette expert and podcast host
@williamhanson
outside Victoria Station on his phone. Knowing it is bad etiquette to butt in for a selfie, we opted for a long-range non invasive selfie
#sextedmyboss
@ICanSeeForever1
@mimmymum
Graham Whine-an called David Tennant a groomer for supporting his non binary child, and now he's playing the victim, which he seems to consistently in his book, trying to backfill reasons why his life burnt to ashes, unable to see that he's the problem
After hours of scouring through years of saved documents, arranging them in chronological order and scanning them to my pc, I've submitted my GRC application. Now the 22 week wait to see if a panel of 4 strangers allow me to legally become a woman 🤞
#TransWomenareWomen
Another pic from last night's impromptu fashion show. This dress was sent to me by mistake when I ordered some earrings. It's a size 8, and I never thought to try it on, but I'm glad I did as I was amazed with how it looked
Today is one year since my egg cracked and I had a breakdown at work, I can't believe I've come so far in a year, yet still feel like I have so far to go, the journey is long and hard but I don't regret it one little bit 💜
I often only sad post so here's something wonderful that happened.
I was goofing around with my 3yr old making her laugh, when she just stopped and looked at me with the biggest smile and said "Daddy, you're a funny girl"
In that moment everything seemed right in the world
Rachel's first shift is over, it went well and will only get better with time. Thanks again for all the kind words and support, I'm off to bed now, gotta do it all again tonight.
Good night all 💜
I wish you could just say to your friends and family "Hey I'm trans" and they would say "Oh that's cool" and then everyone just get on with their lives, this is how it feels for me me, yet it seems such a big deal to others...
Had a good chat with my wife today and it would seem she's doing another u turn. Not sure how much of this flip flopping I can take but I'm scared if I push her to decide one way or the either the result will not be the one I want.
Just wanted to thank everyone for there kind words, I am truly overwhelmed by the support shown to me, I honestly don't know what I'd do without you all 💜
My wife seems to think that just cos life is hard for trans people that I should detransition.
I didn't transition for an easier life and in many was things are much harder now but at least I can look at myself in the mirror now
Picking my daughter up from school, striding through the playground like an amazonian goddess, feeling the eyes of the other parents on me. The dads want to f*ck me and the mums wish they could be me, or maybe it's the other way round?
Todays look. I impulsively bought this dress early on in my transition and I'm glad i did as I really love it now, wearing it today to meet my son for lunch
It's like you've found the solution to your biggest problem only to invite a whole new wave of problems in to your life. But the sum of the new problems are eclipsed by the size of the original