Tim Cook Parody
@TimothyCookothy
Followers
16K
Following
83
Media
217
Statuses
1K
This account is a parody and not affiliated with Tim Cook or Apple Inc.
Cupertino, CA
Joined February 2019
I can’t remember the last time I blinked in one of our videos.
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The only reason we listened to you all and made a matte black MacBook Pro after all these years is because we’re desperate and under pressure from the shareholders to increase our lacklustre Mac sales.
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I’m financially ruined.
Apple CEO Tim Cook’s pay will fall over 40% in 2023 (from $99.4 million to $49 million) after shareholder feedback and a recommendation from Cook after that feedback.
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We sell the same shit every year. Even I can’t tell whether these phones are from this year or last year…
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Are parody accounts allowed, or not? Asking for a friend.
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It’s my birthday, so do me a favor and buy all of our products to give Apple stock a boost.
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I only get my bonus if Apple’s stock price goes up, so please buy the 1TB iPhone 14 Pro Max in every color. Thanks.
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Android: “the notch is ugly 🤮”. Apple: “it’s a ✨feature✨”.
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It’s not called a notch anymore; It’s now called ‘that bar thingy’.
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Don’t bother watching the iPhone event. I’ll tell you everything you need to know: nothing will change except for the price which will be higher than before.
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If you think the Apple Watch Pro is huge, wait until you see the Apple Watch Pro Max. Spoiler: It’s bigger than the Studio Display.
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We’re not going to increase the price of the iPhone, we’re just going to get rid of the cheap models so that you’re forced to buy the expensive models.
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Don’t get excited for the iPhone event. 87% of it will be about how the camera got slightly better.
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The iPhone used to be a phone with a camera, but next month it will be a camera with a phone.
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