The Critical Drinker
@TheCriticalDri2
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I review modern movies, and that's why I drink.
Scotland, United Kingdom
Joined July 2019
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COME BACK TO ME TEASER
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Pablo Marçal
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This is not filling me with optimism for Avatar 2.
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The fact Twitter seems to be running just fine with about 80% of its employees gone, shows how little work most of those people actually did.
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Self respect.
Men of Twitter, what's stopping you dressing like this?
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I've come to realise there are a lot of people out there who are genuinely terrified at the prospect of life returning to normal.
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I don't get it. This woman looks happy and wholesome, she's naturally pretty, is clearly fit and healthy, and isn't hidden under several pounds of makeup. And she's building her own damn house. All of those things are extremely cool.
This accent needs to be illegal and women should be banned from doing manual labour like this.
There is NOTHING feminine about American women.
American women are literally men.
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This is it, ladies and gentlemen. This is the whole reason they made this show.
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Somehow I doubt that.
If Alien came out today, these morons would complain that Sigourney Weaver “looks like a man”
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While most actors recite mindless political talking points and berate you for not agreeing, Tom Cruise just... thanks you for watching his movies. Its crazy, but it just might work.
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This dude is on a one-man mission to save modern cinema.
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The fact you felt the need to write an article about it suggests it probably was.
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Because respecting the source material is toxic now. Or something.
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Glass Onion may be one of the most triumphantly, defiantly stupid movies I've ever seen. How it somehow fooled people into thinking it was a smart, complex mystery is absolutely baffling.
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Dear Mainstream Media,
You failed. You did everything you could, played every dirty trick you could think of to try to sink this movie, and all you did was guarantee its success. More and more, you continue to sink deeper into irrelevance and bitterness. Go away now.
JOKER (2019) IS THE FIRST R-RATED MOVIE TO EVER REACH $1 BILLION AT THE WORLDWIDE BOX OFFICE.
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@elonmusk
To crush the woke. To see them driven before you. And to hear the reeing of their soyboys.
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Why do I feel like we'll never see a trilogy this good again?
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King was released on this day 20 years ago.
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You're offended by 60+ year old literature? Here's an awesome idea - fuck off. Just do the entire world a favour and fuck right off.
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Just saw Indiana Jones. Opening night and the theatre was almost deserted. Can't blame them, really. That movie was an embarrassment.
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Not gonna lie, getting a shoutout on Joe Rogan from the director of John Wick was kind of cool.
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Damn, even the shills have had enough of this shit.
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It was literally in the book, sweetheart. And it was awesome.
Knowing this scene exists and imagining the "fan" outcry that would happened if it released today is a nice wake up call on how the online discourse changed in the last 20 years.
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"Some fans" need to fuck right off.
🔥🚨DEVELOPING: Some fans of the GLAAD Media Awards are complaining and claiming that Sydney Sweeney ‘should start covering up’ after her recent red carpet appearance.
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How to be a Hollywood creative today:
1. Pick some old franchise with a loyal fan base.
2. Remake it, but remove everything that once made it popular.
3. Insult the fanbase when they protest your creative decisions.
4. Blame negative reviews on toxic trolls.
5. Move on.
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This is comedy in 2022, everyone. Now laugh!
Like literally, why did Velma have to do this to Fred after wrongly accusing him??? Who thought this was funny or cool?
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This is it. This is the final desperation move.
Sources say there have been talks to bring back the original gang for an “Avengers” movie. This would include reviving Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man and Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow, both of whom were killed off in “Endgame.”
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Wow, who would have thought that most people just want fun, patriotic, escapist entertainment with classic aspirational heroes?
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Harry just looks like a broken man here. Hope it was all worth it, dude.
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I'm sure these two multimillionaires who both have wives and children will be gutted by your disapproval, Kate.
Ben Shapiro and Joe Rogan today, reminding America what being completely unfuckable looks like.
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I know, right? Imagine calling a character that's brilliant at everything, masters difficult new skills by herself with no training, never fails or struggles, defeats the villain first time with little difficulty, and has no discernable weaknesses or character flaws, a Mary Sue.
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How, exactly? Because she hasn't had her hair and makeup professionally done? She looks perfectly fine to me.
Lmao wow Daenerys Targaryen didn’t just hit the wall she flew into it full speed on a dragon 🐉
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Lol. Fucking mid? You'd shit your pants with joy if a woman like this so much as looked at you, dude.
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I genuinely don't understand how you arrived at this conclusion.
Netflix's new Resident Evil series is easily the best adaptation of the zombie franchise yet.
Our review:
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South Park taking no prisoners with this one.
The Clip from South Park Blaming Kathleen Kennedy for ‘Why Disney Movies All Suck Now’
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See these actors? See how none of them are particularly young or buff or beautiful, but instead look like real people with actual life experience? The kind of people who would be trusted to fly space ships? See how that helps you believe in what's happening on screen? The Alien…
Alien: Romulus is said to follow "a group of young people on a distant world, who find themselves in a confrontation with the most terrifying life form in the universe." This isn't a surprise given the film's casting, it's a departure from the original:
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I'm currently sitting through a 10 minute song and dance sequence in The Marvels. I may not survive this movie.
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Why? Because marriage is about more than just finding the hottest, youngest person you can bang?
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To balance things out, here's a hot woman from a video game.
🎮
@Dove
takes a stand against overly sexualized women in video games, with
@EpicGames
’s Unreal Engine education team &
@womeningames
, eliminating stereotypes and to build young players’ self-esteem & body confidence.
#realbeauty
#seeall
#womeningaming
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So apparently She-Hulk was supposed to release BEFORE Ms Marvel, but the first cut was so monumentally shit that they had to swap them around to allow for emergency reshoots. Think about that. What we're seeing now is the IMPROVED version.
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Fuck man, this meme was dead the moment it was born.
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Its almost like audiences want to see confident, capable, ass-kicking male heroes again. What a crazy notion.
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Just say you don't understand how good characters are written, and save everyone the time.
Can you imagine the chud OUTRAGE if these movies came out today?
Leia fussing at Luke/Han and having to help w/her own rescue.
Sarah Conner being buff and taking out security guards.
Vasquez getting the biggest gun.
Ripley killing the Xenomorph Queen when men couldn’t.
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I'm sure it was a rigorous and unbiased study.
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Lol, imagine a Western game developer saying something like this.
PS5 First party exclusive Stellar Blade has the bigtime Korean model Shin Jae-eun as the model
The reason: "we wanted the most attractive looking body for the user"
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Its real. Batgirl's been shut down, probably for good. I've never heard of a studio cancelling a completed movie before.
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Nobody wants a 20 year old Superboy. Nobody wants ANOTHER story of Superman's early years. They want Superman at the peak of his powers and abilities, actually getting to be Superman. That's what Cavill could have given us.
James Gunn Claims The Reason Henry Cavill Is Out As Superman Is Very Simple: “He’s A Different Age”
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I don't think you're ready for the answer.
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Sad but understandable. The man is 90, he's had an incredible career and has nothing left to prove. Hope he gets to enjoy a few years of well earned rest.
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Damn, some people really do age like fine wine.
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Well, she certainly solved that problem.
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I made more money from it than Marvel ever will.
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I know, right? If only he'd left behind detailed appendices outlining the entire history of his fictional world, extensive correspondence explaining his hatred of allegory in storytelling, and his desire that no talentless hacks should ever mess with his creation.
“[Tolkien] was a really complex person who wrote a really complex world,” Morfydd Clark tells Inverse. “And this idea that anyone could know exactly what he would've wanted or what he would've liked is, I feel, nonsense."
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We did it, everyone. We have officially achieved the Clown World singularity.
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If you want a "modern character" then write a new fucking character using your own skill and creativity (if you have any). Don't take a classic, timeless character written by previous generations and warp them into something unrecognisable to cover for your lack of talent.
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In other words, you're mad this game is blowing up, you know you can't stop it, so the only option is to spin it into a smug "we're totally in on the joke, guys" review. You're fooling no one.
Yeah, you’re fascists in Helldivers 2, but it’s all so intentionally over the top that it’s impossible not to smile.
Our original review:
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I see nothing wrong with this statement.
Actress Ana De Armas Says There’s ‘No Need For A Female Bond,’ No Need To ‘Steal Someone Else’s Character’
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I just can't stop looking at the GIF below it. It's almost mesmerising in its shittyness.
Rotten Tomatoes scores for
#Ahsoka
episodes 🍅
E1 — 95%
E2 — 100%
E3 — 84%
E4 — 100%
E5 — 85%
E6 — 100%
E7 — 88%
E8 — 100%
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The Last of Us: Part 1
Try and name a better game than The Last of Us: Part II. I’ll wait. 🕰️
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Looks like Amber Heard's going to have a pretty big credit card bill this month.
#JusticeForJohnnyDepp
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How to make yourself look like a twat on social media: Harass a fan for paying tribute to their favourite author on his birthday.
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A simple guide to modern online terminology:
"Toxic fans" = Anyone who criticises a thing I made.
"Dangerous ideas" = Anything I disagree with.
"Bigoted reactionaries" = Anyone who remembers when movies were still good.
"Angry manbabies" = Anyone who doesn't consume product.
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Holy shit, I went into RRR expecting a cheesy, ridiculous action movie. Instead I got a riveting, awesome story of friendship, loyalty, betrayal and redemption, with better character development and more satisfying payoffs than basically anything being made over here. Watch it.
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Or... 10 ways you can fuck off with your retarded clickbait bullshit articles. With every passing year, I'm more convinced that LOTR was the apex of big budget cinema.
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Whatever Disney paid you, I hope it was worth it, guys.
Character arcs reach satisfying conclusions in Ahsoka’s excellent finale, which sets up seeds of hope amidst big threats for the galaxy. Our review:
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Does Ellie also forgive herself for the dozens of men and women she killed to get to Abby, most of whom were just normal people trying to survive? No matter how much cope you apply, the morality and message of that game is utterly fucked.
Apparently people still need to hear this:
Ellie let Abby go because she finally forgave Joel and herself. Not because "revenge bad"
You have 0 sense of media literacy if you think otherwise. I thought we were past this but apparently it's June 2020 again.
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Lol. Fuckity-bye, prick.
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Thanks!
When people say who’s the worst internet critic, I see answers such as Mr. Enter, Quinton Reviews, or Saberspark.
Nah, man. This, right here, is honestly the worst person to look for critiques.
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Update: I'm very happy to report that this individual has since reached out to me by email and confirmed that he's OK, and that he appreciated all the support from the panel and the chat last night. Obviously he has a lot to work through but the important thing is that he's still…
Okay, so this is more serious than my usual nonsense. During the Open Bar livestream last night, a subscriber posted a superchat in which he claimed to be contemplating self-deletion. Obviously we have no way of verifying how serious he was being, but I've escalated this to…
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Wonder how many YouTube careers will be launched by this film?
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Its like they WANT to lose money at this point.
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Literally nothing.
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Learn how to write good characters and you'll understand.
I genuinely do not understand the hate for rey beyond “woman”
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Acceptable.
According to
@mrRuimy
, Christopher Nolan is in talks to direct and write at least two James Bond films.
They would be true Fleming adaptations set in the period they were written.
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I can absolutely guarantee that no actual gamers think like this.
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If 'Friends', the most blandly safe and mainstream show of all time is now considered offensive, then comedy is screwed. We're shaping a generation without humour, creativity, aspirations, resilience or common sense.
Jennifer Aniston Says 'A Whole Generation of Kids’ Finds ‘Friends’ Offensive: 'You Have to Be Very Careful' With Comedy Now
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Stop it, Guardian. I can only love this movie so much.
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Jennifer Connelly, because... Nah, I don't need a reason.
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It doesn't need to be defended. It was a really funny joke. Remember those?
Ben Stiller defends Robert Downey Jr. ‘blackface’ in ‘Tropic Thunder’
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Then they should have become apex predators.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
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Careful, Evangeline. Those are the kinds of questions that'll get you cancelled.
"Why are we only applauding masculinity in women and villainizing it in men?
And why are we only applauding femininity in men and debasing it in women?"
- Evangeline Lilly
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Top Gun: Maverick was everything I wanted it to be. Exciting, fun, action packed, nostalgic and respectful of the past. THAT'S how you do a fucking sequel!!
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We don't deserve this man. Good on you, Brendan!
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Modern culture doesn't deserve to survive.
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The reviews of the new Avengers movie.
I DARE YOU to name a single thing you’re more excited for than the new Avengers movie‼️
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These two pictures were taken 28 years apart. What the actual fuck?
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Can't wait for your live reaction, bro.
this weird british guy losing his mind over selecting pronouns in starfield is the perfect demonstration for why we must bring back lobotomies
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