Caitlin ๐ ๐ง Driscoll
@TeacherOnTopic
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Half dad on my father's side. Unionized. Personal account, tweets are my own views. No list to clear, it's against our district's board of education policy.
Ohio, USA
Joined November 2013
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First day of school with students was today. My day went somewhat off the rails before I even left the house.
I was zipping my backpack, getting ready to leave so I would be at work five minutes early, when there was an urgent pounding on the door.
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Me: So my husband --
First grader: You have a husband?
Me: I do, the whole time you've known me.
First grader: Oh. I always thought you were feral.
Me: Er, do you mean 'single'?
First grader: Whatever the word is that you use for stray cats.
๐
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The best baby age is when they say "baby" when they see another baby as though they themselves are not in fact also a baby.
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Today I was helping a kindergarten teacher assess whether students could count to 20. One student told me she could count "really high" so I said "well then we'd better get comfortable." She sat me on the floor and then laid down on my lap like a cat and counted up to 112.
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Two of my nephews call me Potatochip. One of them started kindergarten last week.
He was telling me a story from school. "Potatochip! Today in kindergarten - "
My sister said, "You know, Aunt Caitlin TEACHES kindergarten."
Nephew said, "Sorry. MISS Potatochip..."
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Today after I left a classroom, a kindergartener chased me down the hall, saying, "You forgot something!" As a traveling teacher, I do forget things sometimes, so I stopped and turned around.
Kindergartener ran up, gave me a hug, said, "There you go!" and ran back to his room.
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Today a kindergartener walking in a line told me, "Good job drinking water!" when he saw me drink water. The line kept moving and every kid after him echoed a similar comment.
"It's healthy to drink water!"
"It's important to stay high-dated!"
And so on.
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Today a first grader told me that she doesn't need to learn what I'm teaching because she wants to be a pineapple when she grows up.
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@CodingWCulture
She actually might have gone higher but a classmate interrupted to say, "I bet you could count to a billion!" She accidentally said 130 instead of 113 and started skip-counting by tens! Missed the moon but still a ๐
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Sometimes being in a kindergarten classroom feels like being the only human in a Muppets movie.
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My sister: *very vigilant about keeping her whole family off social media*
Me: *ruins everything*
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Sometimes, when addressing a class, I go, "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears." It's funny to me to quote Shakespeare to kindergarteners.
Then I overheard another teacher address the class, saying, "Friends!" And a kid told her, "Don't forget Romans and countrymen!"
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@MrsMcbeg
They called me my twin sister's name for a long time.
So I was like, "I'm Aunt CAITLIN. You can also call me Aunt Caito. Like Caito Potato--"
And the one went, "Like POTATO CHIPS!?!"
And our relationship has never been the same.
(They call my sister Caroline "Key Lime.")
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@council_grey
I think he might actually believe I live outdoors, because he repeatedly asks to come over to my house, and I keep deflecting.
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I am so grateful to my childless aunts for showing me that a way to exist as someone who absolutely loves children while also being someone who doesn't have children.
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@hopesalive12
He and I live a few blocks from each other. There are many cats around, hard to tell if some are feral or just outdoor cats. But he spends a lot of time outdoors so he would see them frequently. That's why he sees me too - I don't have a car & walk everywhere. Same as the cats...
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I have my post observation conference later today. I am dressed as a hamster. My assistant principal will be meeting with me. He is dressed as a donut. This is what professionalism in the workplace looks like.
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Drink some water, get some sleep, and no one tell my mother how to find my twitter account.
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@HeatherL114
My niece got super excited when she saw a baby in a stroller at the library last week (he was just three months younger than her). Just hustled up and insistently said "BABY" at him, and everyone else around, you know, so we would all know there was a baby
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You don't have to celebrste New Year's Eve in Times Square tomorrow night because folks been dropping the ball all year.
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@SydneyFreedberg
She actually stopped where she did because a classmate interrupted to say, "I bet you could count to a billion!"
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I go by Ms. Driscoll at school, not Miss or Mrs. And my spouse kept his last name the same when we got married (kind of like how I did).
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I had to mute notifications. But here's a bit more context in case you were curious.
@hopesalive12
He and I live a few blocks from each other. There are many cats around, hard to tell if some are feral or just outdoor cats. But he spends a lot of time outdoors so he would see them frequently. That's why he sees me too - I don't have a car & walk everywhere. Same as the cats...
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First grader: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
First grader: Okay, first of all, I have to tell you about Bob. Bob loves tacos.
Me: Got it.
First grader: Ready?
Me: Yes.
First grader: Knock know.
Me: Who's there?
First grader: NOT BOB, BECAUSE HE'S OUT GETTING TACOS
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@council_grey
I think he might actually believe I live outdoors, because he repeatedly asks to come over to my house, and I keep deflecting.
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Kindergartener: Do you have kids?
Me: No, I do not.
Kindergartener: Yes, you do.
Me: No, I don't.
Kindergartener: *takes my hand* Yes... you do.
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@on_guh_la
They *were* following someone around! Their teacher was taking them to the cafeteria for lunch ๐
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The household dum dums enjoying a window that has a screen
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@SawyerHackett
This is like farmers dumping food while people line up endlessly at food banks.
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@roddena_kirksey
@MrsMcbeg
Their father is a professional chef and their parents met while working in restaurants. They come by it honestly.
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@MarshaFatFace
I like the "70/30 cat kid" phrasing, because we do have cat kids every year but different ratios. One kindergartener last year was probably 70/20/10 cat dinosaur kid, and he kept writing "Pitpat" on his work instead of his actual name. Really threw off a sub once ๐
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A first grader came up to me at bus dismissal & tried to give me a fidget toy. She said, "You can use this tomorrow for when you start to get mad at my class tomorrow. It might help calm you down. That's what I do."
I just got called in by an emotionally intelligent 7 year old.
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First grader: What can you do when you're sad?
Me: Well, sometimes it helps to talk to someone about it. Some people might also feel better with a hug, or a back rub. But not everyone.
Other first grader: You could try petting a cat about it.
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Me: *gives direction*
Kindergartener: Yes, ma'am!
Me: Ooh, thank you for calling me "ma'am." That made me feel very respected.
Kindergartener: You're welcome, your highness.
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A first grader told me, "You're one of my favorite specials teachers, Ms. Driscoll. You're definitely in the top five."
There are exactly five specials teachers at this school.
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When kids ask to use the bathroom, my response is, "Go ahead, but don't fall in!"
Welp, today a kindergartener tried to follow me into the restroom. Another teacher stopped her. Kid said, "I just wanted her to feel safe. Didn't you know? Ms. Driscoll's afraid of falling in."
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I think one reason teaching can take a lot out of you 8s because you can have a really good day and a really rough day and guess what? It's the SAME DAY.
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We have mistaken "being over the pandemic" for "the pandemic being over."
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Kindergartener raised her hand today to tell me, "My mom thinks the gym teacher is hot."
(I'm not proud, but I play dumb. "He probably IS hot, considering how warm the gym gets.")
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@joandotca
He is an utter barrage of questions, most of them having to do with boundaries. "Can you come to my house? Can *I* come to *your* house? Can we go get your car and drive to the dog park? Do you want to sleep over? Can I sleep over at your house?" etc
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I met another teacher today whose winter break doesn't start til December 23rd. I texted my mom to add that whole district to her intercessions.
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I don't know how we got on the topic, but I told a 1st grader how my spouse and I share a care. Spouse drives to work; I walk.
1st grader: You should be the one who drives the car to work. Your job's harder.
Me: You don't even know what his job is.
1st grader: I don't need to.
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INSPIRING: I was teaching kindergarteners to draw pictures and post them on an online bulletin board. Two of them coordinated and timed their posts so that one of them drew a butt, and the other drew poop coming out of the butt.
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For whoever needs to hear this:
Good teachers still have bad days.
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I just told a 1st grader, "We don't have time for you to run for mayor of the cafeteria." And he said, "I can't do that anyway, I'm already sheriff of the library." Then he walked out to the bus with exaggerated wide steps so as not to catch his trouser hems on imaginary spurs.
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i don't have any babies myself, i just really appreciate those lil diaper butt buckaroos
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@MrMelloKHS
Most of our conversation was about my dog, actually. He saw me walking her by his house and jumped on his bike to catch up to us. He was trying to get her interested in fetching sticks but she wasn't going for it.
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Someone responded to this tweet and I cannot see it.
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Instead of grades, the 21st century report card should communicate a student's learning through GIFs
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Teachers be like, "OMG let us wear jeans already, we can do our jobs in them just fine."
Teachers also be like, "Cover up those shoulders, no one can learn if you wear spaghetti straps."
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i've checked, and there's nothing in the teacher's handbook for our district that explicitly forbids me from wearing rollerblades at work
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Girl A: We aren't actually six years old. We're six HUNDRED!
Girl B: Yeah. We look this young because we're actually WITCHES and we take POTIONS to stay young!
Me: Right. But why would you choose to be 1st graders?
Girl B: Uh...
Girl A: It is possible we took too many potions.
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Put
#AbbottElementary
on the TV and tell state legislators that's the feed from the cameras inside the schools
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My biggest insecurity as a teacher is probably the fear that I'm better at entertaining children than I am at educating them.
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Teaching first graders to use highlighters. They're doing a great job.
Me: This is the HIGHLIGHT of my day! Get it? Because it's a bright spot? And you're using highlighters?
First grader *pats my arm gently*: It's okay. You're already smart. You don't have to be funny, too.
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@Iolanthe2345
@DominicPettman
I was considering going back to my trivia hosting gig. I told my sister all the ways I planned to protect myself. "What about everyone else, though?" she asked. "You could best protect *them* by not encouraging them to gather in groups, indoors, for hours at a time."
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@council_grey
He also tried really really hard to teach my dog how to fetch, but she is immune to being taught
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Kids are playing a phonics game on Chromebooks, wearing headphones. One sounds out a word out loud. She gasps. "Ms. Driscoll! 'Grass' has a BAD WORD in it!"
I play dumb. "I don't know what you mean by a bad word in 'grass.'"
A nearby classmate leans in to me and whispers,
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my high school english teacher called me up and asked me to help hunt down some information as she's fact-checking an article for publication
and i just... immediately did it??
she was my teacher HALF my life ago, and yet i will drop whatever i'm doing and do homework for her??
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Not an ideal way to kick off the 2022-23 school year, but no matter how rough some days might get, if I can keep my cats off the roof, then at least there's one thing I'm doing better.
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Pineapple girl >>> bean dad
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@yesthatteacher
I left out the part where I called my spouse and he came straight home from HIS workplace (though I found both cats by the time he actually arrived). So then HE also was late for work, and all HIS coworkers also asked him all day if the cats were alright ๐ธ
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If you're the teacher, you can plan lessons just by saying they're planned, even by thinking about it. There can be a process to submit them to your admin, but there doesn't have to be. You're the teacher โ you make that decision.
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Me (reading question out loud): "Ramon wrote his name eight times. Which number is less than eight: ten, eight, or seven?"
Kindergartener: I've got a better question. What is Ramon even doing with his life?
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A kindergartener tattled on another kindergartener for saying a cuss word.
It turns out the second kindergartener literally only said "a cuss word."
Had to explain to the first kindergartener that the phrase "a cuss word" isn't the same as saying a cuss word.
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Many have asked what my response was. It was to post on Twitter, obviously.
(But actually this happened during lunchtime, so I wasn't even actually teaching at the time. So I said, "That's cool," and kept rolling the trash can down the row.)
Ps trans rights are human rights
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When a teacher thinks of themselves as a parent to their students, that sends a message to the students' actual parents that they are inadequate. There are ways to be caring adults without blurring professional boundaries.
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I'm actually going to miss wearing masks in school. Right now I can run down the hallway from crisis to crisis, mouthing cuss words to myself, kids and colleagues none the wiser.
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Really proud of my poker face lately. I mediated a conflict between two kindergarteners who had called each other a "chicken head" and a "castle head" and I didn't laugh AT ALL. Not even a little!
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And when I got there, the school secretary asked, "Are your cats okay?" I was like, "The building admins told you???" And she was like, "Uh, no."
It turns out A DIFFERENT NEIGHBOR called the school directly in case I was already there, to let me know my cats were on the roof!
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I personally believe that introversion vs
extroversion is a spectrum, not a binary, and a person might be either depending on the context.
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Kindergartener: Did you know [Classmate] has dia-beepies?
Me: Er, I think you mean "diabetes."
Kindergartener: No, it's dia-beepies. Sometimes we hear a beep noise and he has to grab a snack and go see the nurse.
(He didn't want me to feel bad when Classmate left mid-lesson.)
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Which of course multiple people overheard her doing in the office. So multiple people asked me throughout the morning if I knew where my cats were.
School hadn't even started yet.
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A gentleman came to one of my YMCA classes and when I told him I teach kindergarteners, he told me the name of his kindergarten teacher.
Man's SEVENTY.
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A person used to live in my body, and she could get up at 5:30a.m. and do a workout at six and get ready for work at seven. Anyway, she moved out and left no forwarding address. I miss her sometimes.
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Are there social studies classes for adults?
Because I feel like I need a social studies teacher rn
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I don't understand how we can keep schools open but also not have universal childcare.
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Me: Can you draw me a picture that shows the number sentence I wrote?
Kindergartener: Sure! Here's a baked potato man.
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Kindergartener: Ms. Driscoll, what did you just say? Can you repeat it?
Me: What? I didn't say anything.
Kindergartener: But you LOOKED at me VERY LOUDLY.
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More kindergarten pre-testing...
Me, reading a question out loud: "Jackie has eight cookies. She wants to eat some cookies--"
Kindergartener: Are they chocolate chip cookies?
Me: Uh... I'm not sure that it matters to the question.
Kindergartener: It matters to ME.
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@SRMcP
I'm actually one of the specials teachers. But at our school, we have built-in time in our schedules to push in to classrooms to help.
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Bruh. The real way to get kids to stop using slang is for adults to start using it. That's cap. You don't even have to use the phrases correctly! Just vibe. It's giving.
How yall feel bout this ?
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Institutions like public libraries, the post office, and schools are not businesses meant to turn a profit. Rather they are meant to serve communities and make life liveable, or even better, in both the short and long term. Hope this helps!
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My kindergartener who repeatedly asks if he's my favorite student, I told him he's in my top ten.
He now asks, "But am I in your top one hundred?" because bless him, he thinks that would be better because one hundred is bigger than ten.
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I have mixed feelings about teaching cursive in school, but I can tell you that a lot of kids are absolutely fascinated by it.
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So the school secretary had called me (the School Announcements contact needs a new name in my phone). And while I couldn't hear her, she was saying, "Caitlin... your cats are on the roof. Caitlin? Your cats? Are... on the roof?"
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First grade lesson on nouns, there was big disagreement as to whether a clown was a "person" or a "thing"
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Remember to check your kids' trick or treat candy this weekend. I just checked my kids' candy and I found some that I wanted to eat.
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Note to parents: please make sure your pet kitten is enrolled before your child brings it to school in a backpack via the school bus.
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Today on the morning announcements, the principal shared the wacky fact that it's impossible for someone to lick their own elbows.
Which led to a roomful of first graders all trying, with varying degrees of stealth, to lick their own elbows during the pledge of allegiance.
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There are a lot of reasons to oppose homework, but the one I think I believe in most is the idea that students and families should be free to choose how they spend their own time.
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