Temitayo O. Esq
@Tbabz__
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Law | Privacy | Info-Sec |🎾. RTs ~ endorsements
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Joined December 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Soon as a tweet starts getting engagements, I mute it straight up. Here for banter and good vibes exclusively. You can wail all you like in the qts but the days of acknowledging or joining issues with strangers on the inanet over my personal opinions are completely behind me.
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Full grown adults that can’t swim, cycle, skate, backpack, take a gap year, vacation, play an instrument or speak multiple foreign languages. Just a lifetime of hustling and trying to leave survival mode. These are subtle poverty metrics that no one really talks about.
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From earning 5k as an NYSC lawyer in Oyo in 2017 to leaving Naija, passing the New York Bar this week and joining an upscale law firm in the city
2.2 in Uni, Pass in Law School.
Your results don’t define you. Putting this out there in case you’re still sitting on that decision.
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Dear men, if you see this product in your woman or any woman’s stash, steal it. She may not understand but God will.
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On this day 9 years ago, I went to see a friend in Awo,OAU. His roommates told me he briefly stepped out and gave me PS2 to relax and wait. 2 hours later, I realized that I was in the wrong room on the wrong floor in the wrong block and the bastards were just taking me fi eediat.
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The country is bracing itself for its potentially biggest medical crisis ever but these idiots are concerned with ‘peppering them’ with the epitome of failed leadership and mediocrity. I’m very embarrassed to be remotely affiliated with all of this madness.
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I just clocked that maybe the reason why Nollywood movies don’t win international awards is because foreign audiences don’t understand them. As a German e.g, how can you understand a movie where someone joins the occult and sacrifice people just to be able to afford a taxi💀💀💀
LOL. I just randomly remembered that every single Taxi I saw in Germany was a Mercedes Benz. Every. Single. One. And not ordinary ones o but the E and S type. Mad.
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Bought a glass electric kettle in 2021. Broke it recently, went to the same store and bought it again for the exact same price.
Price didn’t change by as much as a cent in 3 years. A stable currency is an impressive thing really.
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If you’re reading this, chances are you’re suffering for it like the rest of us. Just do your best to make sure your kids don’t. Every child deserves to enjoy the best part of their childhood and life generally. And these are the things that make life wholesome and memorable.
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Not one Nigerian, home and abroad, thinks this person is Greek.
Who am I? In Greece I was Nigerian, in Nigeria I was Greek. I was stuck in the middle, living between cultures. Watch my film, Naija Odyssey, in partnership with
@WhatsApp
. Now streaming on
@PrimeVideo
.
#TheresNoOneLikeUs
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Heard Yoruba from a group of mummies on the Malta tour bus. First thought my ears were paining until I said hello. Happy to announce that as of this afternoon, I’ve become the adopted son of 12 Nigerian mummies from the UK/US just travelling the world and living their best lives.
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You put mouth, problem. You RT and pass, problem. There’s no satisfying you people.
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I was reviewing documents online with my heavily pregnant Team Lead till 1am this morning. I logged in to the Group Whatsapp now to discover that she gave birth in the middle of the night. What kind of superheroes are you women?😩😩😩😩😩😩
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Hilarious actually but it’s a little curious that you receive small kindness and your first thought is how to outsmart the giver because apparently, they’re foolish and you’re wise. It’s such an interesting mindset.
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Nigerian parents will spend millions on their kids’ education and still be shocked when they start expressing themselves boldly, challenging old norms and choosing their own paths.
Sorry o, were you expecting the education to not work or something?
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Nigeria is officially the only country that’s reporting mass ‘mysterious deaths’ in the middle of a pandemic that’s killed 200,000+ people globally. This denial is now bordering on sheer insanity at this point.
COVID-19: Anxiety in Jigawa as over 100 persons die mysteriously
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When you leave Nigeria is when you’ll finally discover how gravely it robbed you of the best part of your youth. You’ll spend the better part of your 30s and 40s catching up on things you ought to have accomplished in your 20s. Indeed, to be Nigerian is to be “Born A Crime”.
Wow meet Adeoye Owolewa a 31-year-old Nigerian man who has just been elected to the United States Congress.
The young man will be representing Washington DC in the House of Representatives.
This is a big win
Retweet
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Acquire it first now, let’s see. The last citizenship application I made for a 20+ year resident foreigner, they asked for evidence of acculturation. In his case, they wanted to see a chieftaincy title. I almost ran mad in disbelief.
Haven’t seen anyone celebrate acquiring a Nigerian citizenship on the tl.
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@Johan_SZN_
Lol. You’re missing the point. The tweet is speaking to the kind of childhood most people generally have and how it affects them as adult. These things aren’t a function of money. They’re relatively cheap experiences that make growing up wholesome yet many missed out on it.
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Acquisition strategy: marry a high net worth career woman and be a full time husband.
Retention strategy: love potion
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When I moved to the Netherlands, someone walked me through settling, found me a lovely apartment, took charge of furnishing and everything else, and housed me for 2 months while my place was being flipped.
This person is a very accomplished senior lawyer whom I met on Twitter.
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The most painful part of the experience wasn’t the fact that they had no idea who my friend was and just intentionally wasted my time. It was that every single one of them took turns to whoop my ass while bantering me on top. I’ve borne a grudge against Awo boys since then.
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I genuinely feel for overthinkers though. Connecting the most random of unrelated dots and assuming the worst of harmless words and gestures must be such a tasking way to life. Even worse, it’s mostly self induced stress.
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For those struggling with this tweet, its entire point is that people miss out on these fine childhood skills & experiences as they’re forced to grow up quickly due to their economic situation. And they can’t catch up on them as adults because they’re still struggling to survive
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In the law school, you can’t complain, protest, form a student union, reason differently, exchange words with a lecturer, challenge your results, etc.
You’re raising the supposed future champions of justice and human rights in an environment of near total repression. The irony😌
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Recommended preparatory texts for marriages in the 21st century:
1. The Art of War - Sun Tzu
2. 48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
3. The 33 Strategies of War - Robert Greene
4. How To Make War - James Dunnigan
5. The Face of Battle - John Keegan
6. Guerilla Warfare - Che Guevara
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Have kids that you didn’t plan for? In this economy? Police will pack everyone o, including the kids.
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As a Nigerian, you have a legal right to erasure (right to disappear). You can instruct Facebook, Google, Twitter, etc to wipe every trace of you on their databases and they’re legally bound to comply.
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The Police are parading an 11 year old suspect on alleged simple offences. It’s a genuine surprise how our police force manage to break every written rule of policing on the planet with seamless ease. What on Earth do they teach these people at police college?
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This person is running for president but there are some that think an old, shady, kleptomanic, drug dealing crook who can barely stand on his two feet by himself is a better option. God will judge all of you because it’s clear you hate the country and its people.
At the LBS conference today, they asked Peter Obi to react to Soludo's comments, you need to listen to it yourself.
If it GRACE, it doesn't need your permission. Peter Obi has GRACE!
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Saw wizkid perform tonight and hmm, it is well. It wasn’t bad but I wish I’d seen his before Burna’s. Burna has set the standard a little too high for everyone else.
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Illiterate children >>>>>>
My daughter’s daycare tuition is going to be $1950 per month.
I’ve just instructed my mum, her grandmother, to pack her bags and get ready to travel. She was a teacher before retiring. She is about to come out of retirement. My daughter should get ready to be home-schooled till
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Citizens are getting paraded for misdemeanors. Omo
17 persons were earlier today apprehended by the officials of
@LAGESCOfficial
(KAI) at Palmgrove, Ketu, Ojota and Mile 12 for not using the pedestrian bridge.
25 street traders were arrested at Ikorodu, Jibowu, Ojuelegba, Outer Marina, Victoria Island and Ikate for violating
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A female lawyer went for an interview. They gave her a pen to write on the board so that she can turn her back towards them and a senior male lawyer on the panel stood up and grabbed her butt.
At the interview. My God🙆🏾
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The police just called. They found my documents! Everything!😭😭😭😭😭
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People need to wake up to this. We’ve been screaming it loudly these past few weeks. It appears they’re trying to use the instrument of the court to circumvent the controversy surrounding the social media bill. Wake up, Nigerians. Wake up!
A suit has reportedly been filed to stop Twitter from being operational in the Nigerian cyberspace
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I remember putting in my resignation at work and having it rejected by my Managing Partner with “No Tayo. I know you can remotely lead your team from anywhere in the world. Besides, you’ll need the money”.
That’s singularly the kindest thing anyone has ever said or done for me.
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The man that was shot in Surulere had both his hands in his pocket. Still does. He was clearly a bystander and not protesting yet the Police shot him. If somehow you still think this cannot be any one of us, you’re dead wrong.
#ENDSARS
!
#SARSMUSTEND
!
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If you enjoy watching horror movies, something is wrong with you. If no one will tell you, I will.
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Omo, any pikin that wants to study law in Nigeria will have to defeat me and my wife in physical combat first o. Like, beat both of us black and blue satisfactorily. Otherwise, no even reason am.
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I merely highlighted a societal dysfunction that has plagued and may continue to plague people for years to come. There’s no point to this thread other than to spotlight this unfortunate trend and encourage us to make sure it ends with our generation.
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I remember writing a recruitment test for an NYSC Associate role at a major law firm and one of questions was to name the 4 chambers of the human heart and their functions.
It was a while ago but I still think about it sometimes. NDLEA needs to start looking at these firms tbh.
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In these people’s imagination of a working Nigeria, Nigerians are still poor.
How do you explain something like this or worse, divorce people from this unfortunate way of thinking?
Can Nigerians afford a working Nigeria?
Case in point is the minimum 20hrs Power Supply in Band A...
Instead of regulating our consumption and increasing efficiency of our home systems, we complain
My friend said he can't teach his kids to switch off lights they don't need..
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Used an order ex parte (not interlocutory) to freeze accounts for 90 days. An interim order that should automatically lapse within 7-14 days. Are you people seeing the disgraceful judicial madness that your courts are exhibiting in public?
@omeifejideoffo
@TopeAkinyode
@O_Nifesq
The CBN obtained court orders to freeze the bank accounts of
@UnclePamilerin
@SavvyRinu
and other key figures in the
#EndSARS
protests.
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@alaafinofEko
Beautiful lesson here. I’ll just counsel against allowing the bad behaviour of a few humans change our true selves. If we’re naturally inclined to being kind and giving without expectations, acting otherwise because of the actions of others will only turn us into sad beings.
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Actually, you can’t steal everything sha. You have to buy some too.
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Twitter is banned by the governments of China, Iran, North Korea and Turkmenistan on grounds of national security. Access is completely blocked & circumvention with VPN is criminalized. While we’re Kiki-ing at Adamu, our government may be planning same. Stay alert, guys!
#EndSARS
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Proportion > volume. If you steal 50% of a country’s budget, it doesn’t matter if it’s only 20,000 naira, the impact is significant.
Nigeria is a terribly poor country. I have a feeling that if a credible audit was done on how much politicians steal, we would all be very disappointed at how small the figure is in the global scheme.
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LOL. I just randomly remembered that every single Taxi I saw in Germany was a Mercedes Benz. Every. Single. One. And not ordinary ones o but the E and S type. Mad.
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📍Zagreb, Croatia🇭🇷
I’ve joined a street protest I know nothing about but whatever it is, we shall prevail✊🏾
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Mentioned to one I was single under serious interrogation. Top 3 mistake of my life because she immediately told the rest and now I may have been forced to promise marriage to several supposedly fine and successful daughters and nieces of theirs.
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Further to discussions with stakeholders, I hereby announce that Human Rights Lawyer
@TopeAkinyode
will be invoking the locus powers preserved in the FREP Rules to immediately join and defend the dangerous lawsuit filed by Adamu Garba. This madness must die a quick death.
#EndSARS
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Two years ago on this day, I took a massive bet on myself by leaving Nigeria for Belgium for an LLM. Marking the day as an expat law and tech specialist at a Big 4 in my dream city in Europe wasn’t something I’d have imagined but no risk, no gain, eh?
Zero regrets whatsoever.
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Advanced LLM in International and European Law with specialisation in Data Law in the capital city of the European Union🇪🇺
Verdict: Distinction🌟
Tbabz out✌️💯✅
#LLM
#TYL
Big big day tomorrow. Grateful for this chapter and all the tough, beautiful and instructive lessons that came with it.
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Gave up on the tiny distinctions among ear, hear, here, hare, air, hair, ere, etc a long time ago. I’m a Yoruba man. Whatever you hear, take it like that please.
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The last time I saw Evans the kidnapper in court, he didn’t have this much security detail. Why is the Nigerian government treating random civil protesters like high value terrorists while coddling and pampering actual terrorists? What is this unbelievable dysfunction?
The Lagos Magistrate reputedly an
@OfficialAPCNg
sympathiser -O.A Salawu of court 4 Yaba just adjourned
#FreeEromz
matter till tomorrow 17th Nov on d flimsy excuse of being threatened by the presence of the media outfits Channels, AriseTv and others.
@simplyEromz
standing tall!
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I went to visit a friend here and was told he dashed downstairs to get something. His ‘nice’ roommates suggested I wait and offered me PS2 to play. 2hrs later, I realised that I was in the wrong room on the wrong floor and the idiots (total strangers) were just messing with me😪
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@EDEkpenyong
@daviruz
It is actually. It’s how the average westerner does. Wealth isn’t a function of income alone. It’s an aggregate of our experiences. Many missed out on these things growing up yet the fear of returning to poverty won’t allow us catch up on them, even though we’re better off now.
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Passed by a social housing in Eindhoven, Netherlands and took a picture.
PS: social housing is subsidized housing for poor people earning below or slightly above minimum wage.
We will get there someday.
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I think perhaps the biggest heartbreak lesson for many is that you will not be marrying the person that you love(d) the most. At some point, you will settle for who is best for you and not who you really want, and you will make your peace with that.
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I’ve come to learn that there’s almost never a logical reason why this is a bad question other than deeply ingrained cynicism; the type that colours your outlook on life. Can’t think of better icebreakers, bonding topics and cultural exchange opportunities when meeting new people
No matter how sweetly you ask it, “Where are you from?” is not a polite question.
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People’s stances on topical issues like sexual orientation, abortion, death penalty and euthanasia, change when a close or loved one is directly impacted. Realising this is no longer theory but reality, does a lot of serious rewiring to your perspective.
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Abeg consent is not a defence to a criminal charge o. There’s a reported Nigerian case in which a self acclaimed babalawo tried to test the efficacy of his jazz by shooting someone. The bullet blew a very large hole in the victim’s chest and the man went to prison for murder.
Bring your lawyer, sign undertaking, Gun shot to both Knees, show us it won’t penetrate for 10m cash. You have disturbed our peace a lot on this street. I’m willing to do this.
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This makes no sense if we’re keeping it a buck. If you don’t like the laws and values of a place you immigrated to and was kindly received, the logical thing is to remove yourself and go back home.
Muslims protesting outside the French embassy in Stockholm, demanding anti-blasphemy laws in Sweden, & it enrages me. They came here fleeing oppression in their home countries, came here to seek shelter among liberal values, & now they demand those values replaced with extremism
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Beautiful views from the 3rd floor. Happy birthday, Temitayo🎉🎁💫
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This is a gross violation of personal data protection rights. If your name appears on this website, reach out to me with proof and I’ll give you a step by step free legal advice as to how you can seek redress against the landlord and any other landlord who uses such data.
A landlord in Lagos State, JP Attueyi, has created a website to help all landlords in Nigeria identify and avoid “bad tenants.”
The website is set up to allow landlords and property managers report “bad tenants”:
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A beautiful stranger bought me coffee today at the train station just because they like the way I looked. Total stranger, no intros, just straight to the offer. Told her it was my birthday coincidentally and the look on her face remains the best part of the day so far.
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The older I grow, the more I understand why our parents gave up on their dreams and settled for a simpler existence. On some days, I aspire to sit on the Apple board but on others, like today, I just want to become a doughnut.
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Her brilliance, consistency and hard work cannot be disputed but the only person you’re cajoling is yourself if you sincerely believe that an undergraduate will acquire this array of premium internship experience in this country without people pulling some very powerful strings.
Consistency is NOT privilege. It is hard work. Privilege is getting ahead even when you have not done the work. This young lady took advantage of her “opportunities” and did the work. Learn the difference between opportunity and privilege. Find your opportunity and be consistent.
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And that’s a limited summary of all the selfless things she did. Took time out of her incredibly busy schedule to be available whenever I needed her, and it came very naturally to her. That gesture is something that I’d never forget and be grateful for for the rest of my life.
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Maybe I should write a piece on how young Nigerian lawyers can leverage their domestic training and position themselves for expatriate opportunities in non English speaking, European countries without re-qualifying or completely abandoning law practice.
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My mum clocked 58 today and she took some fire pictures to celebrate♥️
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Something will do ‘pau’ in one location and an entire country of 200 million people will be thrown into darkness.
One location pere. Dem say na national grid. Do you know how much of a national security risk that is?
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It’s noteworthy indeed that not a single national news outlet is covering the protests. Not one. All information and progress updates are being been sourced from social media.
Shame on every single one of these compromised Press. Big shame!
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I’m not in the business of idolizing anyone but only a bitter fool would rubbish Sega’s impact in the war against police harassment. No one or institution has been more influential in recent times. Why are you hating on him?
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There’s no excuse for a lawyer to be pleading their client’s case on social media like this. None whatsoever. There are clear ethical provisions that preclude it. A serious Bar would be taking severe and decisive punitive action against ethical malpractices of this sort.
The Facts so far (void of gossip & sentiments):
1) Damilola had an alibi as he was not home when his wife sadly passed away. He came back in the morning to neighbors at the entrance of his house. This is a fact eye-witnesses and neighbors corroborate with in their statements.
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If not for federal universities, some of us wouldn’t have had university education.
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Left the choir to become a lawyer. Call me ex-choir/Esquire.
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I do not have to accept, like or subscribe to whatever you choose to do with your body, but I’d powerfully defend your right and dignity to freely exercise your choice, free from judgment, condemnation or harassment. That’s how functional societies work.
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Oh I wasn’t invalidating his point. If he claims to personally suffer an identity crisis whenever he changes locations, that’s his truth and no one should contest it. I’m just speaking to our perception of him as Nigerians on a different but somewhat related note.
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This is not my story o. It’s a friend’s and it was tweeted with his permission. If you need some help or advice in this regard, he will be reading the replies.
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@badt_BOI_
@DolaposS
This thread is reminiscent of how inexperienced Nigerian artistes release one barely acceptable song, get carried away, start beefing their management and go set up their own labels without the least idea of what they’re doing. Then they implode. It’s sad really.
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I’ve never felt a more burning desire to protest in my life. This is it. There’s no turning back for any of us. We either wrestle freedom from these people or die trying.
After this curfew, Nigeria will witness the highest number of protesters in her history on the streets.
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Got my law school transcripts today against my better judgment and I was reminded of how dangerously close Nigeria came to ruining my life. I'm no longer mad or sad. I'm just puzzled as to how an entire country can be deliberately designed to make its youths fail home and abroad.
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The people saying it can’t happen because we’re a democracy or they’ll migrate to IG, FB, whatsapp, etc, should note:
Liberia, Zimbabwe, Ethiopia, Eritrea, etc all recently shut down their internet infrastructures or SM sites because of civil unrest. It’s not far-fetched at all.
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Just to be clear, I hope you do realise that once the IDC, Yaba and Onikan isolation centres fill up, an unprecedented medical crisis has officially hit Lagos. If things continue at this rate, that may be less than a week from now.
Please stay indoors o.
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When the movie finishes showing for the first time at its international premiere, everyone in the audience be looking like...💀💀
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@robbieyhemo
1. She was not at work. It was online. We were both in our individual homes.
2. She’s my Team Lead ergo my superior. I didn’t keep her awake till 1am. She kept me.
I hope you’re clear now. Otherwise, I’m going to have to spell it out for you in your dialect.
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@peace_agina
@ugoh_kelvin
@owhreoluwa
We use words like this for brevity and on the presumption that reasonable people would contextualise the entire tweet. If you deliberately opt to ignore the real message while battling with the trivial with the sole aim of discrediting me, that’s entirely your problem, not mine.
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