* HE𖤐R NO 𝐄VIL‧
@TECHHAUNTED
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if you do lose 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 at least take solace in the absolute 𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒚 that you will 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖍
half of a whole | @specstral
Joined March 2023
something 𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔟𝔩𝔢 was going to happen // // eventually something terrible 𝖉𝖎𝖉 happen
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I think that John Hamm meme where he’s dancing slowly in the club awakened something inside me.
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( a frown, backing up a little. sometimes, he’s not certain what lamaude wants, and he’s never been someone who pushes people into things they’re disinterested in. ) I’m standing here, aren’t I?
( shsjcmskxkdmskx. as he leans down, she shrinks. not intentionally. just something about him was magnetic— if he got too close, she’d just be magnetized up like she’s being abducted by a UFO. big ol eyes are even bigger and rounder than usual. her naturally quiet voice is
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Anyone who washes their hands more than me has psychological problems but interestingly enough anyone who washes their hands less than me also has psychological problems and, perhaps surprisingly, i also have psychological problems
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The kick makes him grunt, but it doesn’t really hurt. It just…aches, a bit. Jude grabs Lou’s foot, tugging him down the chair until his back is almost on the seat. It looks funny — funny enough that Jude snorts. “If I’d just kissed you, you’d have puked in my mouth.”
lou hates being picked up. it was one of the things established early on in their relationship that jude is *not allowed to do, and even through the haze of inebriation, lou is predictably crabby about it. he struggles wildly as they weave through the herd of people that —
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( oh. oh! jude grins, lazily leaning in towards her. ) You need a stool?
( she can’t look at him. instead, she points above them. maybe she should have just run instead. )
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( blinking down at her, head cocked. ) …yeah?
@TECHHAUNTED ( ………………. there’s no way. this is so cruel. and he’s all the fuckin way up there……..! ) … ahem. jude?
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Unceremoniously, he dumps Lou onto a chair, towering over him. “Patricia is off limits. There’s like, six cousins you could go for, but not her. You know that.”
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What. The. Fuck. Jude rushes after him, arms winding around his waist as he hoists Lou into the air like one might a child. He steers them through the crowd of annoying family and friends his mom’s collected over the years and out onto the porch, air humid even in December. +
“pah!” he spits dramatically, face scrunching at the sensation of plastic leaves jabbing his lips. it’s successful in causing him to let go and he ultimately snatches the mistletoe out of jude’s hand in protest. “fine,” he steps back, dangling the stupid thing in front of his —
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At the grocery store ramming people with my cart, just completely ramming them
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lintel of the door. He presses it against Lou’s lips, almost trying to feed him the shitty plastic decoration in an attempt to distract him from his original goal.
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The worst part is, he could just do it. Just lean in and it would be a nothing for Lou and an everything for him, and he really, really can’t have something as insignificant as a drunken mistletoe kiss ruin his life. Long arms reach up, pulling the mistle-foe off of the +
despite stumbling a little as he follows jude’s retreat (has to be on his tip-toes, after all), his persistence doesn’t waver, hands scrabbling for purchase as his prey tries to escape. his grip lands somewhere between the back of jude’s neck and his shoulders, still trying to —
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himself away from Lou’s hands, shuffling out of the doorway and pulling Lou with him. “Dude, don’t be fuckingggg stupid,” he says with a voice that sounds more parental than he means it to. “That isn’t even real mistletoe. It’s fucking plastic.”
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The dawning horror on Jude’s face should be enough to dissuade Lou, but Jude’s been counting his drinks. He’s good at that. Counting and noticing and being the boring stiff who remains painfully sober so his stupid best friend can make bad life choices. He tries to gently pull +
⠀ ⋆⁺₊ ❅ . @TECHHAUNTED. the opportunity to force physical affection on jude is the greatest gift he could’ve asked for; because although he’s a twenty-eight year old man, he’s a little brother first and foremost, and a sadistic streak comes with the trade, doesn’t it? —
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I’m not good at that.
IM BUSY. if you want to talk, reader, you’ll have to walk with me.
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A blink, head cocking. Interesting question — he loves interesting questions. “Depends. How do you feel about your family?”
" do you think i was in a cult, @TECHHAUNTED .ᐣ " what a way to start of a conversation.
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Do you…uhhhhh. Want a tic tac? ( shaking the box. what the fuck. )
JUDE, ( a retch— the entity is on him. looming close, mere centimeters from his head. more blood hits the sidewalk. )
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Why would we kill him… You’ve been spending too much time with the witch.
what if he’s rich? we could kill him. what if he’s a politician? what if he’s elon musk? ( probably more curious about this than jude is. )
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