UPDATE: CARROTMAXXING SENT ME TO THE ER.

my oh my, what IS a boy to do?.

when a new top michael jackson impersonator pops up, he takes on the burden of his icons sin, leaving the original michael pure.

whenever I eat a lot of sugar the entire surface of my skin feels like a bruised sunburn for a few days after. I will not investigate this and will continue to Oreo for the remainder of my life.

im so glad i never got into fnaf. even as a kid I was like “this stuff looks cring”.

was todays Strands an ad.

RT @MarinaMedvin: Our hero Scott is from New Jersey.

im sleepwalking again. I keep dumping various spices into water bottles.

RT @hopes_revenge: if you’re drinking tonight make sure to drink a lot . it’s more fun.

RT @twaniimals:

had an entire dream in french last night. even I was speaking it again. what does this mean.

RT @primateluvr: Looks at you like this

when it rains my apartment smells like soil ❤️.

I just realized I meant to write “bingo card”. I will be deleting my account. gootbye.

my upstairs neighbors are very unintelligent. ive never met them, but i can tell by their footsteps.

guy in 1347:. well THIS wasn’t on my 1347 bucket list.

RT @shagbark_hick: Lifestyle inflation happened, that's it. If you wanted to live the 1950 version of this that our grandfathers actually….

RT @tobiasly: once again I'm begging y'all to learn how to recognize rage bait & STOP ENGAGING WITH THIS SHIT 😭. did you just read a tweet….

RT @shitbiscuit: Misha dog.

AAAAA UR GONNA MAKE ME CRY IN MY LOBBY LOL this is so cute 🥹💗💗 hahah I’m so honored!!! thank you blu!!! 💗🥕🙏 may neither of us be smited by the carrot gods!!!.

RT @BurnerDontask: Fireworks warehouse explodes in Yolo County.