I am very much looking forward to this BIDS busting treat.

@MatthewStadlen @MatthewStadlen You're trying to put out a house fire with a scented candle. The BBC didn't make a mistake. It committed the one sin a public broadcaster can never commit: it edited reality to change the meaning of a President's words. That's not sloppy journalism. It's

“Idea for high-concept Sci-fi series: all British journalists wake up one day and find they are either Ralph Wiggum or Principal Skinner. #Iamhelping vs #TheKidsAreWrong “

I have found an animal so cute and amusing that I almost want to swap it for my dog. It’s as if a kid’s drawing of the sheepiest sheep ever has come to life.

There is perhaps no greater metaphor for the UK’s poor productivity than listening to the Chancellor for twenty minutes and being none-the-wiser about anything.

Excellent performances and staging by Public Service Broadcasting at the Barbican.

I have no time for Ms Black, the former MP, but it was dismal of @BBCPM to play the Taggart music and Mark McManus saying “there’s been a murder” before cutting to her speaking. Sniggering at accents is pathetic in a public broadcaster or a news show. It looks foul and snobbish.

New game: spot the dog, autumn edition.

Thank you to @AXS_UK for ballsing up the @radiohead ticketing experience. I was genuinely excited it was working but as soon as I put the code in I got this message. Clicking “refresh” was, of course, a complete trap. A waste of the guts of an hour and the emotional effort.

Dog surveys her Kingdom, having made sure this field has no dastardly cows to harry her and her limping companion.

I just realised that I have not seen anyone recently asked if they are on glue. It seems unlikely that this is because the world is less mad, has @ifellonithonest / Andy Bryson left this place?

Jesus wept. The best that can be said of this headline is that it’s a lesson on why adjectives need to be chosen with care. But that is to really work at rolling a turd in glitter. Shameful.

Damn: I have had to put the heating on.

“And where did you get that amazing thing you put on your head?”

The regular and intrusive adverts for “d’ting senior s’ngles” has made me wonder if Zack Polanski has franchised off his hypnotism empire. The adverts are aimed at people with a very clear physical preference.

A reminder of why one should never leave X: Exhibit A- “I need to read the judgment: it’s implicit I’ll understand it, although I think judges are lefties.” Exhibit B- “Here you go; it discusses an important case.” Exhibit C- “Thanks. I was never going to understand it at all”

Drove into Girvan yesterday just as the PS Waverley was departing, what a sight!! I can see a painting coming on 🎨 @PS_Waverley #Waverley #waverleypaddlesteamer #ailsacraig #girvan #ayrshire #pswaverley

In Most Middle Class problem ever: I’ve ruined my asparagus steamer by putting it in the freezer full of water to use as a ice bucket for Prosecco: the base of it got buckled by ice.

I was not expecting to see that a US college appears to be sponsored by the rock band “KISS”.

I had forgotten all about Petrocelli. The show that first made me want to be a lawyer. I imagine it is not rewarded by a revisit; a thing it has in common perhaps with my career.