Wamutahi
@Son_of_Laikipia
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#اادفع_قبل_ارفع_ترند_θちб88ち8бち9
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Qatar has held a World Cup where everyone who could afford to attend attended, wait till it's the USA hosting and they will have visa restrictions even on the players themselves 😂.
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"Kwa hizo documents tumepewa mbona sijaona title deed ya nchi?"
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Na mjue president akiapishwa KOT tunarudi opposition, we don't compromise 😂.
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"Jirani, mitandaoni wanasema nyumbani unarejea kubadilisha boxer"
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I never thought someone would attack Polycarp Igathe on his 40pg CV and decades of banking career until Sakaja said "my deputy governor Njoroge Muchiri has had a proper corporate career not two year stints here and there" 😂😂
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When KRA finally finds a way of taxing bodaboda riders, mama mbogas na watu wa mkokoteni properly, people will start taking elections seriously.
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Fred Kubai, Kahiu Itina, Matenjagwo and other Maumau generals celebrating the arrival of Ithabethi mũka wa ngoma💀😂😂.
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Mr Beast drilled 52 boreholes & left the country quietly. The day president Ruto was commissioning a borehole in Githurai,the entire Thika road was closed,he was accompanied by 59 CSs,120 PSs, 500 MPs, 3000 MCAs, 200 chiefs, 6000 police officers & the entire media on site😂😂😂.
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First time Mejja is making an appearance without a tumbler he is next to his mom... Ogopa our mothers na discipline 😂😂.
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Uhuru sneaking into JKIA kuzima generators aharibie serikali ya Ruto jina 😂.
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I know right
I over heard a conversation kwa supermetro and I wanna know how true it is.
ATI there are people who can come into your life pesa Yako ianze kuisha.
How true is that??
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" Wakikuuliza kuhusu mambo ya DO wa Moi waambie wafufue Mzee wamuulize"
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If I caption this they will drop me in Yala by midnight 😂😂
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Nairobi Intern Lawyers after a month of walking to serve clients juu kuchukua Uber hurts the egos of the seniors 😂😂.
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The rest of Africa celebrating Nigeria's loss in the final😂😂😂😂😂😂.
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In Nyandarua, there are three heavy things, cabbages, potatoes and your brain.
This same product was retailing at 230 shillings when William Samoei Ruto assumed office. It's an indicator that the cost of living will come down.
#KabaMethu
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Mum kwani ule uncle huvaa kitabu hakuji😂😂
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Steve Harvey thought he would sneak in out of Kenya unnoticed.😂
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" Kimani, Morning Glory ni mimi nilifaa kusifiwa au ni wewe?"
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"Mimi nataka niwaambie, mahustlers wetu wa mkokoteni, in three months time tutawapa chariots of fire"
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Kula samaki achana na kucha mzee
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"Mkubwa speech ilikuwa mzuri lakini umesahau kuwaabia we are Africans and Africa is our business "
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"Maitû, wanasema ni 3.3 billion peke yake, ni kama tumeibiwa"😔
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They used Kibaki's legacy project to ferry his body home, yule mwingine labda tumroll on billboards na jug za keg😂.
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"Juzi muliona Uhuru Kenyatta alihack Facebook yangu akaweka mafonography" 😂😂
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"Ati wanalalamika juzi nilienda Rome kutafutia vijana wetu kazi ya kuosha kanisa, si hawa ni wachawi?"
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"Madaktari mjue hatuna pesa ya kuwalipa, ile kidogo tunapata ndiyo hii tunanunua saa na Murkomen"
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Mimi nikifungiwa nje 2AM na Watchman juu ya sheria ya bibi, asubuhi mapema, Bibi, Watchman na Gate will all be gone😂😂.
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I know you will kill it bro👊🏿🔥🔥
Tonight | Mr. Sherehe
@thetunnelke
- Sykimau |
#PinkTuesdays
• A
#JoeMfalmeLive
Connecting people through music Experience •
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The man solely responsible for a majority of the laws, passed in the last 10 years, that have brought the economy of this country to its knees.
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I agree, jiweke mimba sasa.
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Mama Ngina aliita tax Kodi juu hawezi taka kugamble na jina tax ajipate ametaja tusk by mistake ajipeane kwa ngori ingine😂.
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Serikali walishukisha unga yao, shukisha yako pia mkuu😔.
What…? So all along Ruto has HUSTLERS donating CHOPPERS!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Naisha🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Our president to every world leader.
"Si utume za floods mkuu"
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Lawyers relaxing as they wait for elections to conclude waanze kukula pesa ya waheshimiwa just by mumbling "jurisprudence" and "the letter and spirit of the constitution"😂.
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"So if the president can't obey court orders, why should we the citizens obey them?? "
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Justice Smokin Wanjala amesema we assume ni ukweli hacking happened, then we need to know whether the physical form 34A filled at Mutwe wa Thi primary school in Nyeri or Kinya Kîirú primary school in Ndia was also hacked magically at Kambiti on the way to Bomas😂😂😂.
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One day, very soon, we will try to buy tokens from KPLC with ksh 1000 and they will decline because the amount is not enough to "pay taxes and buy tokens"😔.
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Daudi Ndĩi akiingia ofisi:
"Leteni Chai, samosa, maandazi, kangumu na mayai saba, I can't think on an empty stomach"
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"Hiyo 600 million ya renovation mniwekee ile kitu ya kuoga inakaa karai ya mtoto"
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Prof Kithure Kindiki aliingia pale Karen akasema "I bring integrity, education , transparency, accountability and other values to the table" akaambiwa integrity ni wewe ...we don't do that here...money comes first here😂😂.
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"Si tuliweka housing tax? Si walipiga kelele alafu wakanyamaza? Sasa endeni muongeze NHIF na mtafute tax ingine ata kama mtaiita patriotism tax ni sawa"
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" Twîna My husband tuonire CBC nî very shambolic so we decided tûtware aa Kelvin Brookhouse, taimagine tûrîhaga mirioni igîrî na nuthu tamu, it's very manageable "
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That "People die all the time" will hit different on Ndii, let's just wait. It will be used, it shall be used, it may take forever but it will come, and when it does, what must be done will be done 💀😂.
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Hapo family WhatsApp auntie said we pray & remind God He promised to never destroy his people with floods again,cuzo akareply hiyo ni upuuzi,God was telling Noah a Jew in the Arabian desert not Kimemia from landslide prone Wanjerere in Múrang'a.Kila mtu ako typing & deleting 😂.
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Forget these two, What is Tyrrell Malacia doing in Kenya??😂
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Cousin yetu alienda UoN akasoma philosophy kidogo akarudi kijijini Laikipia akisema hakuna Mungu, bandits walikuingilia midnight wakapiga risasi nje, mahali aliingia kujificha tukijoin alikuwa anapiga apostles creed in whispers "Nínjítíkítie Ngai Mwene hinya woothe..."😂
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"You are lucky you found me at home, but it's because we have a small anniversary tomorrow.
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"Poleni, wengi najua hamjapata kitu.Shida ilikuja vile tuliacha mgeni wa Nairobi, Daudi Ndīi aonje kidogo"
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Prophet Owuor' s followers are calling Paul Mackenzie's church a cult.
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Employee confirming he is not capable of working under pressure like he listed in his CV.
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The fact that you have spent the entire day trying to argue with Larry Madowo, instead of being out there trying to remedy the issues he is pointing out, is enough proof that a toilet fly stranded in a beehive is still the same dirty, useless toilet fly.
I don’t think our forefathers and my predecessors were mediocre . I believe they did what they could in the circumstances. When Mzee Jomo Kenyatta commissioned that airport in 1978 he must have looked at what he had made and it was very good. That’s what has served us for those
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Nkatha is handing over the baton to Trevor Ombija, lovely scenes 😂.
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Heri nyinyi mnanyeshewa na mvua, sisi ni umaskini
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CS Murkomen wondering why people can't use helicopters to take their kids to school safely if roads are flooded.
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Bruh!!! Kiambu wameita Ichung'wah "Múka wa Ruto." Beautiful scenes.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
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In Kenya, it's called parliament.
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"Hapo kwa section 25 of the constitution of Kenya, mseme Uhuru Kenyatta handed over the wrong constitution to sabotage the UDA regime"
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Uhuru Kenyatta plotting to tax Coffee and Milk farmers to make Ruto's government unpopular.
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I thought you'd never ask
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Slum dwellers attending a demonstration in support of a levy they don't pay, is like you attending a meeting for people with brains while you have none.
President
@WilliamsRuto
's revolutionary affordable housing program receiving overwhelming stamp of approval from Kenyans as majority low income earners staged a lap of honour at the Nairobi CBD in support of the Housing Levy. Kudos!!
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Gadamnit! What a drunkard achieved without invading our payslips is what a tea totaler is trying to do with a levy and death threats😂.
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Snoop Dogg's wife out here looking like Ciku gîa tata Jane😂.
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He flew KQ, while the owner of KQ is flying on a luxury jet. These jokes keep writing themselves. KK yajenga nchi.
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My aunt is saying bad things about me, aliomba pesa za mchango ya kununua viti za kanisa nikamwambie waende tu ile kanisa iko na viti😔.
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"Schools will close on aaaaaaaaaaaaa August 9.......aaaaaaaaaah no no no August 0 aaaaaaaaaaaaaah no no no immediately "
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