Hot blonde girl sitting next to me on my flight from Omaha to Chicago. As we’re flying over Lake Michigan. She leans over and asks “are we over the ocean?” I’m 4 mini shot bottles deep at this point and answer back with “yes actually, that is the ocean”. God bless dumb blondes.
Just pulled 40k out my farm account to buy a house. But everything in me is telling me to put it on the Minnesota Timberwolves -2.5 spread. I could buy two houses if I win.
My Mom passing, losing my fiancé of 6 years, shit I done/seen on deployment I never thought I’d be here today. I farm for my family and all these other fellers round here. I got the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with. I’m Gods favorite. God bless you all. Shit gets better.
Just found out the only woman I’ve ever loved got married. Debating on wrapping my truck around a tree tonight, becoming a worse human than I already am right now or actually bettering myself. Decisions decisions.
Coming back from deployment I found out my fiancé had left me and was with another guy the whole time. My Squad Leader could tell I was dumbfounded. On the ride to his crib he gave me the best advice I’ve ever received. He said “she was never your woman. It was just your turn”
@jvssixa489
I genuinely think she didn’t know. She is from Nebraska, attended public school, was in a sorority and mentioned she had never left the state. All those lead me to believe she was just a regular bimbo. Nice gal though.
I was looking for vise grip pouches for my belt on eBay and I came across this dude who just makes his wife hold whatever item he’s selling up to her tits. Every man needs a woman like this. Solid marketing strategy.
Ole Miss, UGA or South Carolina idek where I should go I have so many burner mutuals from each of those places. The aura from each of them are irreprehensible.
I used to regularly bang this chick when I was in the Army who went to college in the area and she was so fucking annoying I would block her on text all day and after work just tell her I get no reception on base
Made this in my room B4 a barracks party with all the little barracks bunnies kickin round down stairs just for me to be autistic as hell in front of em but as an Infantryman it’s my duty to bring the violent retardation everywhere so I was really getting into the zone u feel
WOW.
Mingus Reynolds of Texas Tech wins the NCAA National Championship in Wild West Mobility Shooting.
This is Texas Tech’s 11th National Championship in the sport. Is TTU a dynasty?
Here are the highlights:
Crazy how undocumented immigrants might possibly be getting interest free home loans but a guy who served his country gets a VA loan at 7% interest what the fuck is going on in this country
Tried to help her make my meal preps for the week because I felt bad but when I tried to help her with em she said “get the fuck away from me, go sit down and watch your packers game. Here’s your beer” God has truly blessed me with a perfect woman
1 time in the Army I got arrested for drunk driving next the barracks of the Infantry company I was attached to and all the joes were hanging out their windows telling me to fuck up the MP’s but I ran instead and got tazed +pepper sprayed + jailed
Happy Veterans Day
If I ever stop tweeting on here it’s because I finally found the tradwife of my dreams and I’m living a quiet life on a farm or it’s because I painted my brain matter on the ceiling with a Remington 870
Was fucking a girl like this in the Army for a while. Short, skinny and blonde. Unbeatable trio, but you had to be on either side of her if you wanted to talk to her. Like a horse. If you wanted to hide from her all you had to do was stand directly in front of her.
When I was a bartender there was a local with downs syndrome who’d come in every once in a while with a sick fit. Cowboy hat, nascar shirt tucked into his wranglers + snakeskin boots. Owner of the bar only let me give him 1 beer each visit. Hope all is well brother. God Bless.
Went on a walk down by the river and Odell tree’d a coon. Sent a couple rounds through em and now we bask in the sun and think about the lives we’ve taken.
Fuck this going to the gym after work shit too many high schoolers and botched synthetic BBL looking ass fools here imma start coming in @ 4am fuck y’all
Jane from breaking bad looks like the chick with massive bozongas I used to shack up with while I was in the Army. She lived in a trailer in Pueblo,CO. I’d constantly show up seconds late to formation reeking of booze,cigs and a mild concussion from her breasts smacking my face.
A Bradley is an infantry transport. AN INFANTRY TRANSPORT AND ITS SMOKING THOSE FOOLS IN A TANK WITH A FUCKING 25MM BUSHMASTER. Gotta love whatever schizo invented this thing.
That one time on deployment I ran missions for 2 months on end without going back to the FOB, showering, no real food etc. and then the engineers rigged the door charge wrong on the very last op giving me permanent brain damage
On deployment we Dropped a 500lb bomb on an insurgent’s position. Walked through the aftermath and my Platoon Sergeant picked up a Jaw off some dudes head, looked @ me from 50 yards away, lifted it up to his jaw and moved it up and down as if he was laughing @ me with the jaw.
GF’s father just offered me a contracting job that he couldn’t get cuz he’s a felon (prior NY Organized Crime) $600 a day bussing the migrants from Texas to Chicago lmao can’t believe this. Idk how I’d feel about it specifically because it’s bussing illegals. What should I do.
I remember when I came back from deployment. I had a very large amount of untaxed $ in my account for a 21 y/o. My friends and I went to high end strip clubs and made the girls do dances like the dougie, cabbage patch, the running man or just make em do push ups and sit ups.
told 2 clear out my voicemail box. Just went through all of them. I’ve got my mother, old friends, flings and ex girlfriends. Never listened 2 any of these. Kind of breaks what little heart I have left listening to them. I had some great People actually care about me at one time.