The Seedhead Timeline
@SeedheadVardy
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Glimpses from an alternate timeline where Jamie Vardy has a seedhead. Account run by alternate timeline expert WTJ Blanchard. Chat shit get banged #SafeFalconry
Andy Townsend’s Tactics Truck
Joined August 2019
A low point for Harry Maguire was when he used the wrong bird call during the World Cup in Russia, and the team were savaged by a group of vultures. It remains England’s worst tournament defeat and Kyle Walker never regained sight in his left eye.
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GETTING EARLIER AND EARLIER EVERY YEAR 😾😾😾😾😿👇👇 DIDNT EVEN HAVE A CHAMCE TO PUT MY DECOARTIONS UP 😾😾
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EAXCT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME WHEN MY SIX YEAR OLD GRANDDAUGHTER DREW A PICTURE OF ME RIDING A HROSE ON MINE . SHES DEFINITELY WILL NOT BE INHERITING MY FAX MACHINE 😾😾😾😾
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Now where’s the timeline where Paul, Barry and Lady Di were a throuple?
Wowzer! You beauties have been magnificent! Rig discoveries flying in faster than we can keep up with! Here’s our favourite four Lady Di timeline marriages from what’s been sent in this morning - Captain Tom 🫡 | Frank Bruno 🥊 | Margaret Thatcher 👩💼| Paul Chuckle 😆 Dave xx
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What on Earth are you on about? Do you remember when Rory Delap had his own unique long throw dynamic on FIFA 11?
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In your opinion, what’s the most iconic sports photograph ever taken? I’ll start:
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FINALLY! A LABOUR POLICY I CAN GET BEHIND . AN ADVANCED TRAINING SCHEME FOR GUIDE DOGS TO HELP UNLEASH THE UNTAP GROWTH MARKET OF CASINO GAMBLING FOR THE BLIND !! THE DOGS KNOW WHEN TO STICK TWIST OR CASHOUT FOR THEIR OWNER. AN MORE IMPORTSNTLY WHEN THE FUN STOPS STOP! 🖐️ 🐕
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This 👇
This is definitely #UnsafeFalconry! Once a bird of prey develops a taste for penis, it will be back for more.
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‼️ | Lazio have fired the clubs falconer, Juan Bernabe, after he underwent penile implant surgery and shared the results on social media. #Lazio
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This is definitely #UnsafeFalconry! Once a bird of prey develops a taste for penis, it will be back for more.
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Reminds me of this…
Over in the seedhead timeline, Jamie Vardy is viciously attacked by a stray, diving bombing peregrine falcon with a death wish. Whilst in our timeline, he hobbles off with just a mere pulled hamstring?! The lesson here? Whatever timeline you’re in, always remember #SafeFalconry!
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Jamie Vardy shows off new pet Gary 3, to Abdul Fatawu during training. Last seen away to Fulham 😔. 1-1 | #FULLEI
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Gary Lineker of course, being the biggest Falconry Bastard of all time.
Falconry Bastards is a 1992 football video presented by Gary Lineker, featuring footage of footballers known for their falconry ferocity. Despite the FA charging Lineker with bringing the game into disrepute for glorifying violence, the video topped the Christmas bestseller list.
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Spurs are no strangers to Falconry Bastards
Remembering Darren Anderton, Falconry Bastard and ball burster extraordinaire. #PremierLeagueMemories
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