Growing sweet potatoes. It's a mystery why people pretend to like them.

Oh crikey. Smoke sauna and a dip in a bog pond. It's like she reads my mind. I mean, I hope she doesn't read my mind, it's disgusting in there.

Calm down, Liz. I'll get round to you once I've sorted this crypto deal with Scallorn99something.

I bought nine trees today, just in case you were wondering if my life is a constant rollercoaster of soapy bosoms and butterscotch Angel Delight. Cherry, hazelnut, weeping pear, beech. Plus a load of grasses, not sure what type.

Firing up @seatsixtyone to see if this trip is possible by train in the early spring. Sarajevo to Mostar is supposed to be spectacular. I've not explored any of this area.

"It was a full toss and the batsman stroked it hard over bosoms for a four."

With the Ashes starting tomorrow, here is my updated handy guide to fielding positions.

Thanks for the concern and all the words of support following my announcement that I have a bit of a cold. I especially want to thank all the ladies who lifted my spirits by DMing pictures of their bosoms. I'm feeling much better and should be tip top in the morning .

Dr Swift

I think my recovery would be greatly improved if you wore stockings and a saucy nurses outfit. Thank you in advance.

I've got a terrible cold. Covonia, absinthe, lemsip aren't shifting it and it might develop into full-blown man flu. I'm not usually one to ask for help but I would really appreciate a couple of my lady followers popping round to rub my head and to tell me everything will be ok.

I've kept this to myself, struggling through with the stoicism and dignity you would expect from a gentleman of my standing, but now is the time to share the horrors I've been enduring. I don't do this lightly and I know some people will think differently of me...

Hi all. This is not one of my Photoshops. Outrageous scenes

I'm joking, of course. I have a lot of time for the scotch and we all need a laugh during the tension of a world cup.

Hey @elonmusk is it possible to mute the whole of Scotland for a couple of days?

I've seen someone being fingered at the bingo. The Variety Club, in the piss soaked streets of Radford, Nottingham, was one hell of a place on a Sunday afternoon.

Fingered at bingo. I know these have been done to death over on Tik Tok but this made me chuckle.

I would be far more interested in seeing him fight Terry Christian.

https://t.co/hvYpCvaEYW

A point about these coins. The episode was filmed in July, they were valued at £5k-£5.5k. Gold has gone through the roof since then. Today, the value of the gold is about £6,200. I've seen the quintuple sovereign sell for £6k on its own. The set is worth £10k+