sam greisman
@SAMGREIS
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Hiiiii (with the intent of telling you I’m flaking on our plans).
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“Oh god girl, I know. did you see he’s into jesus now?”
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Britney pregnant, JLO and Ben engaged again, all the cute boys are wearing baggy clothes. The mid 2000s are back baby!.
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I’m sorry this is the funniest tweet I have ever seen.
You guys are disgusting and weird for defending a literal weirdo. Im 17 and AFRAID of Sabrina Carpenter when she's performing. You guys need help.
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Remember Kurt and Mercedes from Glee? This is them now. Feel old yet?
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At the State Dept. dinner for the Kennedy Center honorees Mike Pompeo wondered aloud when he would be “loved”. Then Linda Ronstadt got up to get laurels, looked the fucker right in the eye and said “maybe when you stop enabling Donald Trump”. Icon.
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Umm the angle on the empire state building? You in Long Island City my dude.
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Calling it “x” is admitting where you were on Jan 6th.
When was the last time you called 𝕏, “Twitter”? . It’s ok, you can be honest.
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The DNC.
What’s something that ISN’T Republican but FEELS Republican to you?.
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Chuck Grassley, born originally on Pangea, will serve 6 more years in the senate.
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OPPENHEIMER marketing team gonna nuke Calabasas in response.
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They rule your high school drama department with an iron fist
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All of us at 12:01 on New Years when we realize we just woke up back at January 1, 2020.
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This is honestly, no hyperbole, one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen a person say.
Brittany Mahomes seemingly addresses backlash after liking Donald Trump’s post:. “To be a hater as an adult, you have to have some deep rooted issues you refuse to heal from childhood.”
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Genuinely disorienting to see a Democratic candidate continue to make the obvious right choices.
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Has there ever been a better joke than “Meryl Streep couldn’t be here tonight, she has the flu. And I hear she’s amazing in it”.
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No one has ever nailed a press tour for a flop movie like this. They said it couldn’t be done.
Dakota Johnson on her relationship with her Madam Web co-stars:. “It was so fun having them around. The three of them really bonded and then there was me.”
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Filling the same arena where they held the RNC but with more people at the same time as the DNC is so fucking petty. Finally a party that represents me.
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I love that swifties think that you can spot someone in a box on the other side of the field in a stadium of like 70k when this is clearly a video of him watching himself on replay. Never change girlies!.
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So insane how a huge percentage of audiences can no longer distinguish between what a character thinks and what a film or show is saying is the truth. Dark!.
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That twink had quite the time in Thailand I will say that.
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Trying to blame Rachel Zegler’s humanity for Snow White flopping instead of the fact they hired the worst actress in the history of mankind is quite a move!.
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Imagine wearing a rhinestoned Bebe t-shirt in the year of our lord 2020.
MEET KAREN AT TRADERS JOE.
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Just the most enjoyable celebrity drama we’ve had in so long.
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My weed dealer just texted me she has rapid tests available….
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Shawn Mendes announcing he’s down to explore fucking dudes right after Sabrina Carpenter tells everyone he is hung, I know a girlie/gay boy scheme when I see one.
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“But you know. not THAT much”.
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This article is so gross. They’re 15 and its from a private family funeral. What kind of scum do you have to be to report this?.
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's 15-year-old daughter, formerly Seraphina Rose, debuts new name Fin
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I spent one night out with Naya Rivera and the way her face lit up talking about her son. Can’t stop thinking about it. Fuck this fucking year.
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Just some really helpful advice from my mom on how to deal with my Olympic crush.
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Very painful to say, but as a society we might have outgrown the need for the VMAs.
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Joke literacy truly in its flop era.
How did the MeToo movement make its way back to sexploitation?? ."a movie about empowering women (the hot ones)"🙄
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Nicole at Paris’ wedding, Britney is free, now we just need Perez Hilton exiled and the curse of the mid to late 2000s will be broken.
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Please vote. Cuz I didn't get her anything.
Tuesday is my 72nd birthday. I want one great big gift that can only come from you. Vote. Like our lives depend on it. Because they do. Vote.
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I went to elementary school with Dakota Johnson and even though I was in 6th grade and she was in 4th, I would get the nervous sweats around her. So yeah, she not afraid of Ellen and her Keds.
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the voting rights act.
Who has actually been "canceled" that didn't deserve it?.
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If we’re talking about the best tweets before this place goes up in flames…
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You know Princess Diana would be doing tiktoks exactly like julia fox’s if she lived.
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52 degrees in Los Angeles is actually the coldest temperature on earth.
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miranda: people are writing clickbait articles about Gen Z thinking we’re cringe. charlotte: that is why I only get my news from the AOL homepage. samantha: enough talk about Gen Z, I need something in my Gen V. carrie: big died on his pelaton.
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Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello prove that non-siblings can also have huge creepy incest energy.
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Me: nothing can MAKE you gay, you’re just born that way. Also literally me:
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Me when I see a cute boy on the subway who turns out to be a petite lesbian.
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At least when Adele beat Beyonce she made a point to apologize.
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She is absolutely the kinda girl that wore this color because of the Devil Wears Prada reunion tonight. One of us
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The Queen was just hanging on till Lea debuted in Funny Girl.
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Inspired by JLO I would like to announce that I too have returned to my boyfriend of 2003-2004. We’re very happy, thank you.
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Even when she would call the house and mistake my 13-year-old gay-voice for my mom’s, I knew she was an ally.
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WAYS TO AVOID CORONAVIRUS:. - (don’t) leave.- (don’t) get out.- (not) right now.- (or) it’s the end of you and me.
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Not one single thing has happened in 9 episodes of The Gilded Age. A stunning achievement!.
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I think we all knew when Suits first premiered that it would eventually topple the British Monarchy.
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Dinner with Taylor at Via Carota tonight.
Meryl Streep Confirms Separation From Longtime Husband Don Gummer
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Still thinking about the two 9 year old boys behind me at Gaga who made their moms buy them tickets and spent the first 2 hours of the show deeply worried about how Gaga was gonna pull off Shallow without Bradley Cooper.
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