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Ryan Ken

@Ryan_Ken_Acts

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107,982
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7,946

Writer. Actor. Jokes. Incomplete thoughts. Nonbinary. They/Them ryankenacts @gmail .com

Joined February 2012
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
The worst jobs have the best coworkers
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I love that Dr. Strange didn’t get a superhero name when he got his powers. He was like I went to medical school and this magic thing is a hobby.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I’m so sorry y’all that I can’t let it go. But the speaker of the house thanking a Black man for his murder is just so horrific and also incredibly telling about this country’s relationship to Black people.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
“I don’t know enough to speak intelligently about the topic” is a phrase I will say freely and without the slightest bit of shame. Nobody needs my freezer burned take on everything. Sometimes the holy ghost says hush and read a book.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I have complicated feelings about Justin Bieber but "my mama don't like you and she likes everyone" is one of the greatest song lyrics of all time
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Apply for the job, opportunity, etc. Go for it. That white man got to publish YouTube comments in The Wall Street Journal.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
No more iconic diss track than “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” Just dragging the hell out him line after line.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
It’s wild to me that you’ll see that the ocean is on fire and then have to send an email or something
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
The supreme court is acting like there’s a liquidation sale on evil
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Baby, these are ACTORS
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Lil Nas X sliding down a pole to give satan a lap dance will do far less to harm children than theologies that makes them feel like their lives don’t matter. The CGI devil isn’t denying healthcare or disowning children or shooting people because they feel entitled to sex.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I don’t care what CDC does at their house! I’m not CDC’s mama!
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Now we know why the penguins had to march
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
In the US you have to purchase 3 different medical insurance plans to insure your entire head. Your regular insurance doesn’t cover your eyes or mouth bones.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
1 year
Sometimes I swear I’m reading a post about a reliable used car and the whole time it’s a man wishing his wife a happy anniversary
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
A more accurate portrayal of the CDC in zombie movies
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
If y'all recognize your family members, co-workers, and neighbors in the crowd, I beseech you to snitch. Snitch with reckless abandon.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
People are begging to say n*gg*r and f*gg*t without repercussions and acting like it’s the greatest intellectual debate of our time. They can already say these things. They’re just mad they have to also care about the response.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
That divorce announcement was not for us. It was to calm global markets. And that is absolutely wild to me.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Earth’s climate is giving air fryer. A plague kills thousands daily and bosses still asked folks to risk death for their check. Six people decided a uterus was state property. Gas is higher than Whole Foods almond milk. But your political anger is reserved for trans people?
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Me on my way to see Nope despite having no idea what’s going on in the trailer
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Canva will really have you feeling like the baddest bitch
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
I remember growing up there was such an intense debate about whether piercing your right or left ear made you gay. As if earlobe holes were the highest stake holes in that debate.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
My friends’ families who were generous with the snacks in my youth, I have never forgotten you. What a legacy you leave.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Those men were at the constitutional convention on stolen land writing about "freedom" while eating meals prepared by the human beings they owned. Some chewed and swallowed that food with teeth stolen from someone else's mouth. And we were taught in school to call them "fathers."
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
This is every viral British news clip I've seen since the Meghan and Harry interview
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Malcolm and Marie's neighbors have had enough
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
It kinda amuses me when white people don’t want non-white people in their sci-fi/fantasy when most of those stories are just allegories about how non-white people are treated. For a certain type of white fan, I think the real fantasy appeal is getting to imagine you’re resilient.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
It’s wild to me that people hate masks so much. I will likely never breathe raw airport air ever again. I’ll never have unprotected inhalation in the grocery store either.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
This person shopped here once. What if we emailed them thrice daily forever and ever amen?
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
“That weapon is for killing people abroad and not for American civilians” is such a wild thing to say on the World Wide Web
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
This is always how I imagined the lunch breaks for slavery movies
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
People think they want to be famous, but could you imagine your body being part of a public DISCOURSE?? Your relationships and hook ups make the NEWS?? I would want my therapist to live in my house.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
4 years
Asking marginalized people to publicly perform grief for the folks singularly focused on our destruction is largely about one's own guilt for being complicit in systems of oppression. You're worried that if we can't forgive them, maybe we won't forgive your racist family. Or you.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
If y'all can tweet in AAVE, you can listen to the concerns of Black folks on this platform.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
1 year
The New York Times covering trans issues (parody)
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I’m ALWAYS prepared to give a talk about these performanceS. She didn’t have a scene partner for much of it. Gave this performance to tennis balls and tape on the walls. IMO it’s some of the most incredible acting caught on film. Her Oscars snub got made me care less about awards
@HunseckerProxy
A real-life hoedown.
3 years
In. The. Same. Movie.
Tweet media one
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
The seasoned food diasporas are really cutting up on here today
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Is there store brand gas? I need a Great Value car motion fluid or something. Damn.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
The sentiment that “it’s only those people who will die” should not bring you comfort
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
4 years
When Jesus found out that one of his friends was going to betray him, he invited everyone over for a passive aggressive dinner. Jesus was one of the original Real Housewives.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Living in the Midwest changes a person. I don’t think you’re supposed to have this much of an adversarial relationship with the weather. I wake up cursing the wind and sky like a character from an old English novel.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I’m just getting caught up on the drama but sis left Little Mix to start her solo career as Little Mixed
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
They laughed when the fat queer child lingered in the kitchen but who knows how to make grandma’s potato salad?? So the last shall be first!
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
I worry that very soon wearing a mask will be seen as negativity/fear mongering & people will try to ban them. Folks want the ability to harm without feeling bad or being reminded of the harm. The responsibility of quieting that discomfort will fall on the people being cautious.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
This is so cute and I’m glad y’all had some fun away from work. But if the holy ghost leads y’all to mosey over to the studio…
@stallionaccess
Stallion Access
2 years
Megan Thee Stallion with Jazmine Sullivan tonight.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
10 months
I’m thinking about the person who told me that when we were kids their mom would punish them whenever I placed higher than them at an orchestra audition. It didn’t matter that I had been playing longer or that I was more skilled. They should have at least beaten the Black kid.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Are the surveys on Family Feud peer reviewed? I have questions about the methodology
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
TW Spanking, child abuse People get incredibly defensive when you say you oppose hitting children. I imagine so much of that is about the inability to make sense of one’s own childhood. It’s too difficult to believe you also deserved gentleness & patience instead of violence.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
I perpetually feel like I’m 2 to 3 good back cracks from knowing true peace
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
I got called “emotional” most of my life, but I think almost everyone’s emotional. People who say “I’m not emotional, I’m logical” don’t recognize that deciding the world operates by simple rules & ignoring feelings for the illusion of predictability is a charged emotional choice
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Cat’s out of the bag but I’m in mine! I finished my first day as a staff writer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver! Eternally grateful to all the people who have helped make this possible! Happy to be working with these folks and to see what the future holds!
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I’m gonna need these lil paper straws not to biodegrade halfway through the beverage
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Doing my part to keep cis straight male comedy alive
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Salt and vinegar chips are for people who have accepted that not everything in this life is going to be easy and that your testimony starts with a test
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I think I would be more moved by the Juneteenth news if there weren’t currently a national controversy about learning that slavery was bad and maybe pretty important to a country that went to war over it
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
The Black kids in that linguistic study were correct. Cookie Monster really do be eating cookies.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
I wish it were more socially acceptable to say “I feel lonely & I need attention.” We shame direct requests for attention, so I think a lot people online default to adversarial positions, use activist or academic language for engagement and to make that desire feel more noble.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
People will delight in the misfortune of folks in Southern "red states" because they're "racist" and "backward" meanwhile they live in Former Sundown Town, Illinois outside of Redline County in a segregated school district on a street with an Indigenous name they mispronounce.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
The club has never felt as good as the Scholastic Book Fair
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
He said “Ladies, why are you going to bed when there is dick afoot?!”
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
1 year
Janine is really one of god’s strongest soldiers because of Gregory was grinding on me in that white turtleneck and a gold chain, I’m folding like origami, a futon, a chalupa, a paper airplane, an ingredient mixed into whipped egg whites
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Elmo’s spirit of discernment
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
2 years
The Rock shows his support for Joe Rogan after he addressed Spotify podcast controversy: “Look forward to coming on one day and breaking out the tequila with you🥃”
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
The townspeople talking to Beast after the curse is broken
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
One thing that I learned going to school with rich yt kids & something COVID has hammered home is people with a lot of privilege are shielded from their poor decisions thus are terrible at risk assessment. They don’t need to be in charge but that’s all they want & they get it.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Gospel artist and pastor apologizes for offensive remarks
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
If I may speak low vibrationally, any place where you can get a whole other dish as a side is doing the lord’s work
@cuteasstyy
Ty ☆
2 years
Who the fuck is keeping Panda Express in business
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Me for every time I said “I’m doing okay” to someone
@TIFF_NET
TIFF
3 years
What performance from this year deserved an Oscar nom?
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Babies love to call another baby a baby
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Everyday somebody’s logs on to tweet free career advice for young people, and it’s like call your boss daddy. Forget your friends and family. Eat spreadsheets instead of food. Legally change your name to the name of the business to show loyalty. Skip your funeral for overtime.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
So much of the fatphobia of personal interactions is just an admission that you couldn’t like yourself if you were fat which just means you don’t like yourself. When I realized it was just people screaming “I DON’T LIKE MYSELF,” it lost a lot of its capacity to wound me.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
If “diversity” just means recruiting more non-white people for the white people who remain in charge to boss around, keep it.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
It’s wild that a source of division in white families is children unlearning their racial biases while elders hold onto them. Whole relationships fractured for trying to be a decent person. Folks yelling at the dinner table because they can’t agree that all human life is valuable
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Was I really a "good kid" or was I acting like a miniature adult to impress adults? I'm realizing how harmful that desire to please authority has been in my life and what I could have stood to learn from my peers who didn't take everything the authority figures said at face value
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
1 year
I’m convinced some of y’all just have a capitalism kink. Like you clock in and sing Cater 2 U to your boss.
@Tre_Potts
GOOD JOB TRÉ🍊⚜️
1 year
Covid lockdown was the worst thing to ever happen to this generation. Folks was at home chillin clearing $1,000/week… now a 40 hr work week got folks ready to tap out.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
How nary an adult intervened is still beyond me
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
My grandfather said when he was younger a white person could just shout any name at a Black person & you were expected to respond & help them with whatever they needed. To this day, my family sees nicknames or shortened names given without permission as profound disrespect.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Wow I’m an Emmy nominated writer which is funny because after receiving that information I absolutely won’t be completing any of my writing obligations for the rest of the day!!
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
This is every documentary about a white guy scammer
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Going to the doctor as a fat person
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
The mysterious person who was going to support Black rights but a singular incident changed their minds (satire)
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I want to sit with what it meant for colonialism to rob cultures of entire genders. Genders that were holy and sacred. The scale of that violence globally is hard to imagine. And today the cultures that colonialism produced try to rob us of sacred, holy genders again and again.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
4 years
My audition for "gay friend in a 90's sitcom"
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I finally did that TikTok trend
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
4 years
I want to be an Angela Davis type of elder. Never shitting on young people's movements, struggles, or analysis. Open to correction. Ever evolving. Making space. Giving space. I hope nourishing my creativity means I can forever hold the experience of youth in my mind and honor it.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
Lost my job on Monday. People around the world sent me support. Ava DuVernay is following me. Zendaya liked my parody. And Netflix retweeted me. What. A. Week.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
That video of Lizzo correcting the paparazzi about Demi Lovato’s pronouns did something for me. Her saying “they” firmly. Then saying “their” with her chest. A thug’s allergies acting up!
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
One of my favorite genres of literature is an email that says “Fuck you, you raggedy piece of shit” without explicitly saying that. I’m an acclaimed author in the genre myself.
@briantylercohen
Brian Tyler Cohen
3 years
Candace Owens tried to get a COVID test in Aspen, CO, but was denied service (from a private facility) and received this email, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever read.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
I don’t even like tweeting about racist police violence bc it feels like part of the ritual. But what Black people feel is how everyone should feel when harm befalls another human. Not an intellectual exercise/talking point. You should feel. Grief means your humanity is in tact.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
4 years
After I used the term "trauma porn" in class, a professor pointed out to me how often we use sexual language to point out harm, violence, wrongdoing, and evil. Even folks who have more liberated ideas about sex, sexuality, and sex work do this. I've noticed it ever since.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Trans children spark fear in a society that wants to subjugate. If you can question entrenched gender norms in childhood, your freedom is a threat. Investments in gender policing have everybody bound including cis ppl. If we interrogate it, the politics of domination unravel.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
It’s wild that the decision to tell the truth about the people who tormented you at work is a career risk, but you can stay booked and busy as one of the tormentors
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
Behind the Music: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
No more iconic diss track than “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” Just dragging the hell out him line after line.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
The J** R*gan thing reminds me how I learned respectability is a scam by being around rich white kids. You are supposed to bend to access the institution but you see how that same institution bends to meet them. Restricting your own freedom isn’t even a guarantee to that access.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
The T*ry L*nez defenders aren't necessarily fans of his. Their fandom is humiliating Black women. That's where all the specificity in the language is. Had he not been famous, they'd still be doing this. They aren't even defending anything specific to him - catalog or character.
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
6 months
This is the MLK I swear y’all are talking about
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
2 years
I want to know Keke Palmer’s constantly booked prayer
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@Ryan_Ken_Acts
Ryan Ken
3 years
The t is many unpaid internships are the grooming period for the abuse you will endure as an employee. It's a period of testing your limits. The internship itself can be an assessment of how willing you are accept financial abuse. Pennies sound like a lot after working for free.
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