Robert Hutton
@RobDotHutton
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Political sketches and film columnist for @TheCriticMag , co-host of war movie love-in @PodTooFar . Books about journalese and spies.
London
Joined January 2010
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Kendrick
• 2226579 Tweets
London
• 388613 Tweets
May the 4th
• 306465 Tweets
Star Wars
• 297409 Tweets
Madonna
• 284336 Tweets
ANOTHER ONE
• 141417 Tweets
こどもの日
• 112075 Tweets
Xavi
• 110275 Tweets
Flamengo
• 102652 Tweets
ケンタッキーダービー
• 57405 Tweets
Not Like Us
• 48826 Tweets
フォーエバーヤング
• 45225 Tweets
#Amici23
• 42388 Tweets
De La Cruz
• 39795 Tweets
#precure
• 39607 Tweets
子供の日
• 34767 Tweets
Vargas
• 34227 Tweets
#KentuckyDerby
• 23005 Tweets
#UFC301
• 22703 Tweets
Forever Young
• 19699 Tweets
Timberwolves
• 17188 Tweets
Bragantino
• 15528 Tweets
Mystik Dan
• 15109 Tweets
ガルガル
• 15051 Tweets
テーオーパスワード
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Gerson
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シエラレオーネ
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#仮面ライダーガッチャード
• 10917 Tweets
Proper zinger from Angela Rayner to Boris Johnson at
#PMQs
: “The next time a man with Covid symptoms drives from London to Durham, it’ll probably be to get a Covid test.”
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Love the idea that Boris Johnson's defence relies on us believing that Theresa May would leave a flat in such a mess that he, Boris Johnson, would be unable to live in it.
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Hancock giving a job to the woman he's pictured kissing is quite wrong. These roles should be put out to Tinder.
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It is amazing how many grown men and women are willing to trash their own reputations to defend Boris Johnson's.
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More expensive travel insurance, no pet passports, possible roaming charges, red tape for business: the government's website to tell people how to prepare for Brexit sounds like something the Remain campaign wrote in 2016.
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"Actually, my 115-room mansion is paid for by a charity" is not a line I'd have advised Raab to go for, personally.
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The cleverest bit of this plot was Keir Starmer persuading Boris Johnson to host a series of lockdown-busting parties.
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So...
@NSoames
has been giving
@RSylvesterTimes
his views on Jacob Rees-Mogg, and they're 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
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Imagine spending a week and a half investigating parties only to discover you'd hosted one yourself. It's like a Christopher Nolan film.
NEW: Simon Case is no longer leading the Whitehall investigation in lockdown rule breaking in Downing Street - sources
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Surprising endorsement of Corbyn from the Chancellor here, but it's nice to see politicians praising the other side when they agree with them on something.
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I think the Boris Johnson Word Cloud from
@JLPartnersPolls
might be there most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
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Nadhim Zahawi's line that the staff in the No10 quiz were there because "they had to respond to a national emergency" is in no way undermined by the fact that one of them is wearing tinsel.
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Northern Tory MPs busy writing to Wes Streeting to demand he explain why Boris Johnson didn't show up in Doncaster.
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"Who would have dreamed that a boy from Eton and Oxford would one day rise to become prime minister?"
Penny Mordaunt there, congratulating Alexander Boris de Pheffel Johnson on “doing so many things the establishment said he couldn’t do.”
#pmqs
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"Your mum and I are in love, and we're getting married. But you don't have to call me Dad."
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I for one am astonished to see that people who have been attacking Keir Starmer for not making a statement are now attacking him for making a statement.
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"And coming up on Sky, we hear from one tourist who lost everything in a cruel nightclub scam."
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Oh bloody hell Rishi Sunak says his greatest weakness is working too hard and being across all the details.
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SLAPDOWN: Lindsay Hoyle makes it clear that Commons won't return to physical sittings until it's safe, whatever Jacob Rees-Mogg says.
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"I was once commissioned to investigate parties in Downing Street, but when it came to the most notorious party, I decided it would neither be appropriate nor proportionate to do so."
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Britain so split over Brexit that we're sending two Alexandra Phillipses to Brussels, one to argue each side.
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We're about a month away from "there was no bus".
VoteLeave never claimed Turkey was imminently going to join the EU. They said it was the EU’s (and Turkey’s) plan. The UK was funding Turkey’s preparations.
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Don't worry everyone, Liz Truss will solve this by *checks notes* getting rid of solar panels in farmers' fields.
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"You've burned my house down."
"Yes, but we should look at the fact that I was cooking tea."
"You've burned my house down!"
"Look, there was a lot of concern about what was for tea."
"YOU'VE BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN!"
"I'm simply not going to say that I was wrong to be cooking tea."
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Strong vibes of "over-the-hill cricketer poses for car loan ad in order to meet overdue alimony demand".
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"I think I was the first one to not believe," Sajid Javid tells
@sophieraworth
, in an epic claim that realising Boris Johnson was a wrong 'un FIVE DAYS AGO counts as insight.
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Penny Mordaunt sits alone on the government front bench, having explained why she will be supporting the verdict on Boris Johnson. None of her ministerial colleagues have turned out to support her.
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The prime minister continues his attack on whoever it is that's running the country.
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Labour MPs who defended John Bercow over bullying on the grounds that he was sound on Brexit should be feeling a little shifty today.
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Just jotting this down:
Theresa May: 1,106 days
Gordon Brown: 1,049 days
Boris Johnson: 902 days so far.
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Dominic Raab says Keir Starmer is "apparently" a former Director of Public Prosecutions, applying a significantly higher level of scepticism to the Labour leader's CV than he does to the prime minister's party claims.
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So, to be clear:
1. Prime ministers lying to parliament is fine.
2. Voting in Parliament is "silly games".
3. He's watching the cricket on a working day.
I am 100% against today’s appalling recommendations. I fully intended to vote against, but I will be standing with my colleagues and not giving others the satisfaction of taking part in their silly games with a division 🎪
At least the cricket is worth watching today 🏏
#boycott
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Find your royal baby name by combining your favourite US comic strip character, your favourite Star Wars actor, your favourite cake, and the location of your grandmother's favourite castle.
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Hard not to admire all these Cabinet members who, like Grant Shapps, are managing to overcome their personal fury at law-breaking and their deep disappointment with Boris Johnson in order to keep their jobs for the good of the country.
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"The plan to make you kill your cat with your bare hands and then eat it raw? Scrapped."
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Looking forward to a lot of "When The Facts Change, I Change My Mind" pieces on Trump in the coming days, from people who have spent five years studiously ignoring the facts.
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Conservative MPs now face a moral choice.
What happened to Keir Starmer tonight outside parliament is appalling. It is really important for our democracy & for his security that the false Savile slurs made against him are withdrawn in full.
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"And my very natural assumption, as I heard my staff chanting 'I like to move it move it' in the basement, was that they were discussing the best location for the House of Lords..."
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Really bad luck that someone not interested in wealth acquisition went to work for Goldman Sachs and then a hedge fund.
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Can't believe that all those briefings from Number 10 sources that Boris Johnson wouldn't be fined over parties turned out to be wrong.
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One possible Brexit solution is for the Telegraph just to announce the backstop has been removed, and everybody else to agree to stay quiet.
Major boost for Boris Johnson as Emmanuel Macron says Withdrawal Agreement can be amended
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I could not feel more warmly towards the computer scientist in
@whippletom
's sorry of stolen bicycles.
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Theresa May leaves the chamber with a spring in her step.
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Nothing more dignified than a big crowd of maskless Tory MPs loudly cheering the fact that someone they sit near has to isolate because of Covid.
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It's the local elections story that no one is talking about: Why has the wealthy southern English city of London turned its back on the Tories? I visited this proud and historic port to talk to locals about how the government has left them behind.
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"I've become prime minister without properly understanding the tax implications..."
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To be fair, if you'd told me in 2019 that Boris Johnson's house would turn out to be one of the biggest crime scenes of 2020, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid.
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Only a week since we were told he'd assured the Cabinet this didn't happen.
EXCL: Police have a photo of Boris Johnson holding a can of a beer at his lockdown birthday party in June 2020 - taken by his taxpayer funded official photographer.
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Brutal of Sky News to go from its reshuffle coverage to an ad that begins: "Right now, terrible things are happening to donkeys."
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Ministers! Always Remember The Public Inquiry Code:
BEFORE "This is not the time."
DURING "I can't talk about the ongoing inquiry."
AFTER "We need to put this behind us."
Robert Jenrick tells
@TimesRadio
: “there will be a time when we will look back and say with hindsight there are things the government could have done differently. But that time is not now”.
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I for one cannot wait to hear Boris Johnson's take on British journalistic ethics in the 1990s.
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Brilliant. No10 have sent Robert Jenrick out to vouch personally for Boris Johnson's integrity.
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Twice now in the Commons, Keir Starmer has advised Boris Johnson of being useless over Afghanistan. He just said his judgement has been "appalling". What's interesting is that this has been met with barely a murmur of disagreement from the packed Tory benches.
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Over in the Commons, Tory MPs are shouting "Resign!" at Sajid Javid for announcing Covid restrictions. He's spent months trying to appease them, but in the end, he's been forced to pick a side.
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Priti Patel says MPs criticising Rwanda are "xenophobic". Quite right. Paul Kagame won 98.79% of the vote at the last election. What greater endorsement can there be of his democratic leadership?
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Pumped that we've reached the "FIND ME A LAWYER WHO SAYS IT'S LEGAL" stage of the Johnson government.
Exclusive:
Boris Johnson will appoint his own private lawyer if he receives a questionnaire from the police over alleged breaches of lockdown rules
The lawyer will focus on his ‘unique’ legal situation - that No 10 is both his home and workplace
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"Everyone will have the food they need," Michael Gove tells BBC. I assume that was rejected as the Brexit information campaign slogan.
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Guys, if your big announcement is "Police Will Now Investigate Crimes", it implies the existence of some serious historic problems.
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Feel like Jennifer Arcuri has taken more questions during this election campaign than Boris Johnson has.
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Imagine releasing this picture, from today, and then giving a press conference telling people they should wear facemasks indoors.
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Sajid Javid begins his Covid statement. The coughs from maskless Tory MPs behind him are a lovely touch.
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Excitement at Tory Conference as left-wing firebrand
@Madz_Grant
of filthy socialist rag The Telegraph joins the Guardian's
@JohnJCrace
on the list of Sketchwriters BANNED from Rishi Sunak's speech.
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Charles Moore, former editor of the Spectator, Daily Telegraph and Sunday Telegraph, authorised biographer of Margaret Thatcher, is on
@BBCr4today
attacking "the mainstream media establishment". What a time to be alive.
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Johnson's pre-planned
#PMQs
final reply to Rayner includes “we’re getting on with delivering the priorities of the British people”, which would be better if it hadn't arrived in reply to a question about grouse shooting.
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I don't think we've written enough about John McDonnell's Sunday TV interview look. Sofa, jumper, floral curtains, table lamp. It radiates: "You can trust me with the economy. I just need to get the lawn mowed first."
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Minor bombshell moment as "Sir" Jacob Rees-Mogg asks Harriet Harman why she didn't quit over perceived bias revealed in Tweets. She reveals she consulted the govt and offered to resign if they didn't have confidence. The govt, she says, told her to carry on.
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The best thing about Boris Johnson's Downing Street is the way that everyone involved in it keeps issuing statements expressing their horror that it is run EXACTLY the way the rest of us imagined.
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People mock Mogg, but it's worth remembering that Britain's membership of the EU is the reason the French were able to stop us taking part in the invasion of Iraq.
Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg says he thinks Putin would "probably have invaded Ukraine successfully if the UK had been bound in by the requirement of sincere cooperation"
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Life Hack: Save hours every week by remembering that literally nothing about the man sixth in line to the British throne, or his wife, will ever affect your life.
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It was a day of striking cowardice from Rishi Sunak's Cabinet.
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Helen Whately asks why the last Labour government didn't come up with a plan for fixing social care. She might not remember it, but Gordon Brown's government did. The then leader of the opposition, David Cameron, killed it by labelling it a "death tax".
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If only there had been some clue that she was like this.
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Actually, Red Wall voters have always worried that tax rates on six-figure salaries are too high.
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Nadhim Zahawi running into trouble on
@BBCr4today
, where he seems to suggest that voters who want Richard Desmond-level access to govt ministers should, as he did, go to Tory fundraising dinners.
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Chris Whitty tells
@BethRigby
that people are mistaken to conflate the COVID alert levels and lockdown measures. This is the No10 slide from the week the alert levels were announced.
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Tory members don't like Dominic Grieve because he's thwarting Brexit by voting against May's deal
Tory members don't like Nick Boles because he's thwarting Brexit by voting for May's deal
Tory members love Steve Baker because he's delivering Brexit by voting against May's deal
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Question Keir Starmer needs to answer today. There are 15 men on an island, and 14 of them weigh the same. They have a seesaw they can use three times. How can they identify the odd man out, and whether he weighs more or less than the others?
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Brutal drive-by in the Commons from Labour Treasury spokesman
@jamesmurray_ldn
: "If we are to believe the prime minister - and there's absolutely no reason why we should..."
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"By day he's Westminster leader of the SNP; by night he's a border guard, hunting Englishmen trying to sneak into Scotland: 'Blackford'. Sunday nights on ITV."
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Honestly, I haven't seen a twist this good since The Sixth Sense.
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Excited to learn that Disraeli got the idea for One Nation Conservatism from Boris Johnson's 2008 Mayoral run.
Which Boris Johnson is running for Tory leadership?
Tory MP Johnny Mercer: “He started all this One Nation stuff, he started this when he was first elected, he won a Labour city in London…that's the Boris Johnson going for the premiership”
#politicslive
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Massive congratulations to everyone involved with this. Really inspiring effort.
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"They're not strangers!" Important public health update: you can't catch Covid from people you know, Health Secretary says.
"Can you not catch Covid from your friends?"
We asked Health Secretary
@sajidjavid
why there was no mask in sight in pictures of yesterday's Cabinet meeting.
#KayBurley
UF
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The hill I will die on is that "admitted" is not a synonym for "said".
Sir Keir Starmer called the protester who threw glitter over him during a speech an "idiot" but admitted the security breach "could have been a lot worse" 👇
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BREAKING: Boris Johnson's office urges everyone in politics* to use "civil and respectful" language.
*exclusions apply.
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Britain very much at the "Everyone has to bring three ideas to the next features meeting" stage of government-by-newspaper-columnist.
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Continually the most amazing part of the Number 10 redecoration saga is that we're asked to believe that Theresa May left the flat in such an appalling state that *Boris Johnson* couldn't live in it.
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Literally we just want it to work like it did a year ago. That's it.
For years, fans and critics alike have pushed Twitter to dream bigger, to innovate faster, and to fulfill our great potential. X will do that and more. We’ve already started to see X take shape over the past 8 months through our rapid feature launches, but we’re just getting…
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Really bored now with listening to people who have been in power for 12 years whining that everything is someone else's fault.
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"But you don't need to worry, because we're going to put an 'Off' switch on the back of each killer robot."
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The trick will be to catch Boris Johnson in the split second between "inappropriate to comment during live police investigation" and "all in the past, time to move on".
The ministerial line on partygate this morning:
“While there’s a live police investigation it wouldn’t be appropriate to comment.”
Which is of course quite convenient as the investigation won’t conclude today, more fines will likely follow. This line buys PM even more time.
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I have already made it clear that I will cooperate fully with the supermarket security guard, and - please let me finish, Mishal - and if he finds the bottle of gin that I've hidden down my trousers, I will hand it back.
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Twenty years from now, it will be quite hard to explain how the Conservative Party, in its final months in office, became gripped by the idea that it was impossible to control immigration without the help of a murderous dictatorship 4,000 miles away.
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Jacob Rees-Mogg tells the National Conservatism conference that the government's Voter ID rules were an attempt at gerrymandering.
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Tories still workshopping their next election slogan, I see.
Voters have the right to elect a misogynist or racist, says MP Sir Desmond Swayne
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If anyone's putting together a TV package about how today's events might, in a way, be good for Boris Johnson, and they need someone to come on at the end as a counterpoint and just laugh hysterically for five minutes, I'm available from 10pm, and my rates are reasonable.
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He became a member of parliament in *2015*. This a job that is usually considered full-time, and based in Britain.
BREAKING: Rishi Sunak has admitted holding a US green card until October 2021. He became chancellor in February 2020
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