Rob Cromwell
@RobCromwell
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Joke. Writer. Also joke writer. BBC Writers Room Drama Voices 2023 I write comedy, I write drama. Same words, different order.
London
Joined February 2009
So David Walliams has been dropped by his publisher, but before you go celebrating take a moment to think of the dozens of writers you've never heard of that are now out of work.
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There's plenty on this cesspit who are desperate for a foreigner to start dismantling the BBC, a great British institution, because they don't like what the news part of it sometimes says. If you're one of them stop pretending to be a patriot and take flags out of your avatar.
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If anyone decides to complain about the penalty conceded by Tarkowski against Leeds just show them this picture and tell them to STFU. Clear handball, clear penalty. Stop whinging. #LeedsUnited #LUFCEVE
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As it's Tony Yeboah's birthday we think it's time to celebrate 🥳 So here's a thread of Yeboah scoring endless beauties to light up your Friday ⚽️ A thread 🧵
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Ron was best man at a gay wedding you dumb fuck. #HappyPride
Good morning and Happy Sunday! No quotes today. Just wanted to post how I feel about “pride” month.
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As a voter I can help you with that Nigel... you're a cunt.
In the last 24 hours I have been attacked by Starmer, Badenoch, Swinney, Sarwar and just about everybody else — except for the voters. We must be winning.
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Still boils my piss that Villa got away with all their shithousery with zero punishment.
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Russell Brand here talking absolute bollocks.
For there to be an absolute truth, there has to be an absolute Creator.
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What a fucking cuck. Anyone remember morality? I have vague memories.
watching @potus more carefully recently has really changed my perspective on him (i wish i had done more of my own thinking and definitely fell in the npc trap). i'm not going to agree with him on everything, but i think he will be incredible for the country in many ways!
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No. Pick a team when you’re 8 and be angry the rest of your life
Normalize switching sports allegiances.
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https://t.co/1sucOu5nv9 The lesson from this whole shitty affair? Leeds should have cheated like Everton and Forest did and we might have stayed up. The 'punishments' were pathetic and now they've clearly given up policing it at all. What a fucking joke. #PSR #FFP #EPL #lufc
bbc.co.uk
BBC Sport breaks down the Premier League clubs' £1bn of losses in 11 charts.
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"Which of us is going to be worse at management do you think?"
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Trump should try telling stories that aren't absolute snoozefests. Even if it's true it's the shittest cost of living crisis story I've ever heard. How the fuck did this imbecile convince 75 million people he was in any way competent?
Trump: I tell the story about a woman,an old woman, no money, she went to a grocery store, had 3 apples & she put them down on the counter & she looked and saw the price and she said will you excuse me? & she walked 1 of the apples back to the refrigerator https://t.co/ads5A6EpkP
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WOW…Ivor Baddiel telling us about Piers Morgan telling us about Sir Rod absolutely roasting Gregg Wallace over the way he treated his wife Penny on Master Chef. Calls him a ‘tubby, bald-headed, ill-mannered bully’ 🔥📷🔥
WOW…Piers Morgan telling us about Sir Rod absolutely roasting Gregg Wallace over the way he treated his wife Penny on Master Chef. Calls him a ‘tubby, bald-headed, ill-mannered bully’ 🔥🔥🔥
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Forgive me, but isn't this attempted vehicular homicide? If you get 2 years for throwing soup on the glass that covers a painting then the driver of this tractor should probably get life.
🚨 Tractors have broken down the barricades at the farmers protest in Central London.
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Is it my imagination or does a Packers defender have a hand on the back of one of the Bears O-Line? Isn't that leverage? Isn't that equal to the call that went against us the other week? #bears #nfl
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US Election Special Edition cover going to press. Trump wins… the world loses.
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American voters poll results are in: Narcissist or woman - narcissist Bankrupt or woman - bankrupt Racist or woman - racist Rapist or woman - rapist Felon or woman - felon Traitor or woman - traitor Failure or woman - failure Armageddon or woman - armageddon #ElectionDay
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"So guys, you've got to choose between a highly qualified female lawyer, and a serially bankrupt, racist rapist traitor." "And the lawyer's a woman you say? This is tricky." Fuck you America. Just do the obviously right thing you stupid fucks. #Election2024 #HarrisForPOTUS
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