Ranting Waiter
@Ranting_Waiter
Followers
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Following
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Media
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You're most likely the table that I tell other people about.
Joined November 2012
The one thing I've learned from 6+ years of serving: Always deflect the blame on someone else. #serverproblems
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#HowToAnnoyYourServer: Flag me down, tell me you're ready to order, and then continue to deliberate what you want to eat. #serverproblems
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If you say, "I could never be a server," you're probably right. It's best you stay the fuck off the floor. #serverproblems #RantingWaiter
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#HowToAnnoyYourServer: Say, "You forgot my..." While I'm holding 3 plates in front of you. No, I didn't forget, I just don't have 3 arms.
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Why does it seem that every customer needs a "side of ranch" with EVERYTHING. #serverproblems
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When my manager overstaffs the floor, I begin to realize why the U.S.S.R. dissolved. #History101 #serverproblems #SundayFunday
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New restaurant policy prohibits auto-gratuity, so I started wearing a "Help Me I'm Poor" sign to work.
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Being left $0.02 is worse than not being tipped at all. #ThingsOnlyServersKnow
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I should reevaluate my job choice when my response to "What's your favorite thing?" is "Umm, I don't know. I don't know what you like."
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The best thing going for me so far is the slow-melt cube in my iced coffee. #HumpDay
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If Lisa Vanderpump was my manager, I'd hang myself with my apron strings.
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If you're not going to get ice, what makes you think I'll run your food? Let it die.
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I never got why 98% of servers complain about money but when you ask them to cover your shift, it's always "NO." #RestaurantParadox
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Ma'am, please take your bare-naked-club-foot off of the booth. Thank you.
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*Scheduled for a Thursday expo-shift* Oh, honey, I don't run food.
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The 19-year-old Amy Winehouse at 53 with her Gucci sunglasses and knock-off Chanel bag is demanding to know why we won't serve her.
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