Maturing in marriage is understanding that eating good food without your wife is the same as cheating.

Hell ya! Chicken Nuggy Jackpot.I would be happy!.

This House to Garage ratio is perfect.

What are you doing in this situation?

We’re not gonna make it as a species.

Me trying not to interrupt someone when they get a minor fact wrong in my hyper-focused area of expertise:

You Mom's Nipples when she sees my meme collection.

Doctor: How did this happen?. Me: First off Doc, the name "Dyson Ball Vacuum" is very deceiving.

Grab one here:

Still the greatest exchange to ever take place on the internet.

In response to why he starred in the sequel "JAWS: The Revenge", Michael Caine said "I've never seen the film, but by all accounts it was terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."

Only Robin Williams could leave behind a photo that still hugs the world with joy. He knew we'd need the laugh one day. 😢

Snoop is a National Treasure.

Somebody said that Raven Symone looks like the "C" in Chick-Fil-A and y'all, that's just the kind of thing I needed today. 😂

There's football being played every weekend until next February.

I know some of y'all have crazy stories. 😂