Ramone
@RamoneTamine
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Following
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Statuses
387
Transcendental, dream realiser and psychic. Opinions fully formed but not always correct at time of going to piss. I mean press. Discretion advised.
Joined September 2020
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@realclintonb
Fuck me wi’ a Beefeaters bugle. How dare you! At least my hairs natural no’ like yours. Yours is built from the tufts off a dead sheep’s arse hoop and ironed out wi’ a brick and a 3 bar electric heater.
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Hiya!
@realclintonb
Hope you're going to share your podcast here after the shite I've been through at yon festival!!
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@realclintonb
Away you and Shite Baptiste! That was not me!! I wouldnae use the phrase piss poor! I’d go for something like pain in the Plums, dickhead diviner, or the shit show shaman.
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@realclintonb
@joelycett
Eh. Don’t get ahead of yourself Baptiste. I’ve just spent the mornin’ tryin’ to sort this mess out in Europe with Boris Yeltsin. Theres more important things going on right now than comedy and selfies.
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Hello Dreamweavers and Transcendentalites! Fancy a personalised message? I can help using a multitude of spirits. No need for Mixers. Especially this one
@realclintonb
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@tommypipes
@realclintonb
Disgraceful.
Our local Scotmid had to be exorcised after customers were getting their arses felt in the tinned meat aisle.
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@realclintonb
Cheeky shite. At least I’d save my clients some money. Not like you. You’d drain every copper out of yours in a hall that is only a tenner to hire. Ya greedy Bastart.
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@realclintonb
Fukken cheek. Whits all this shite about 2000 Grecians?!! Listen pal. Your Barber has mistaken your arse for yer heid. It’s had about 2000 plugs shoved in IT!!
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@realclintonb
Aye but I’m on a Ship. Wi’ ma face humbly lookin’ up tae the Sun as we steadily move to our next location on my Arctic Cruise Tour. No like you. Crunchin’ through icy puddles in yer wellies like an angry Farmer. On yer way tae stickin’ yer arm full length up a cows arse.
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@realclintonb
I was wasted. He dropped some disco biscuits in my Sparking water and had dyed my hair blonde.
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@realclintonb
Aye that will be you dancing the hokey kokey wi’ all the other pensioners at your run of top tier gigs at the dangleberry care homes once restrictions ease. An’ I’d still rather have nil nil than 4 nil. Ya nil by mouth cunt.
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@realclintonb
@TurboDunk
@1129Media1
Aye tune in Clinton. Suppose it might stop you parading around the hoose in yer Maws leotard for half an hour
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@realclintonb
Naw Clinton. I was busy scraping cement into the shape of a shite to send to you at a later date.
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@realclintonb
@peewee_boycie
Rich comin’ from the guy that thinks tapioca is near Benidorm?! At least ah know how to SPELL DFS!
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@realclintonb
Blessed, Honoured and Happy to help King Regal. I shall enjoy watching you turn that custard footed tosspost into Angel Delight.
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@JJWood09
@realclintonb
Fuck is that? A tremor test? Just give up the booze altogether Baptiste. If ye canny keep yer hands still.
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@88mclark
@realclintonb
@McIntyre_Ents
Thank you! A lot of people have said the similarity between me and Leonardo Di Caprio is startling.
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@realclintonb
has very kindly asked me join his ‘psychic readings’ to provide some genuine out of this world, interstellar dream weaving and advice. Why don’t you come along!
@agentnicola
@carolvorders
@KateRobbins
@KateOShullivan
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@realclintonb
You’ve got a bloody cheek Clinton. This poor Bastart needs wisdom! No’ high fallutin’ hokey pish!! I’m half price throughout January Mr Gout.
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@stuartevans1974
@realclintonb
Hair wars! His battle with Mousse is well known. He was rubbin’ it on his baws way before KY Jelly was ever on his shopping list
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@realclintonb
Aye well at least they can safely pass water. Not like you. You’d shit yourself walking over a bridge.
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@1AMTH3DUCK
@realclintonb
They would need someone with genuine psychic ability to make it work. I'd have to check my availability of course. Very busy these days.
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@realclintonb
Well Clinton. I’m only doing it to help you pay the fine you got for officiating that big wedding last week..
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@stuartevans1974
@mrbadger71
@realclintonb
Oh very bloody funny. The only white trousers being worn around here are from that Belisha Beacon of charm
@realclintonb
. And he’ll have been working at the abattoir before turning up at your shows. There’s respect for ye. Doesn’t even was his clothes before a show.
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@Higgo07
@realclintonb
@alexlowe51
@lewismacleod
I’ll no dae it unless there’s proper health and safety measures.
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@DanielDShanghai
@realclintonb
And you changed your fake surname back to Dickend. Cheeky Bastart.
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@kainmcbain
@Higgo07
@realclintonb
@alexlowe51
@lewismacleod
Haven’t a fukken clue. One things for sure it’ll not be Jeff Beck. More Jif Beck if Clinton chose it.
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@LilyMayUK
@realclintonb
Thank you LilyMay. Well there were some laughs and more than a few dramas at the festival we attended. Keep an eye out for the podcast.
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@bansiesta
@realclintonb
It was a wonderful experience to channel Wogan and Stephen Hawking with you. That it was ruined by Barbara Baptiste coming through to give me a row is of no consequence.
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@realclintonb
If they’re going for the cup they should bring their own and ensure it’s washed. Celtic players have been doing that. It’s more hygienic.
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@TDFent
@realclintonb
@alexlowe51
What a lovely comment. Thank you. It was a brilliant night and the Fog only added to the atmosphere. I thought the dry ice machine had gone loopy.
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Well not long before
@RamoneTamine
and I begin our UK tour. "CLINTON BAPTISTE Vs. RAMONE" You will love it. Please go here for tix for one of the first shows CHESTERFIELD Sun 25th Sept.
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@choochoopoopoo
@realclintonb
Well keep yourself in the bogs of your own piss alley then. Ya unenlightened sous chef of shite.
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@Viv_Savage_CFC
@realclintonb
Away you and shite. I wouldn’t be seen dead selling that confection of teeth dissolvers.
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@josielawrence1
I only met him a few times socially but watched in awe his comic genius at the Store several times over the years. He was phenomenal and to share a drink with him was a privilege. Sending my deepest condolences.
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@windmolenjonge
@realclintonb
Well that takes me back. It was the weekend cream run in 1984 that near done me in. 4p commission a tub.Mind you I made 30 quid selling Parker pens at Christmas.
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@buckers70
@realclintonb
It isnae!! It’s a strong peroxide mixed with a combination of a stronger peroxide, bleach and marzipan.
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@Craigsafc1983
@realclintonb
I don’t really like to talk about that . I’m still having surgery to have bits of probe removed.
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@BigSoundsPhoto
@realclintonb
I’ll have you know these are authentic Slavic, Mediterranean, Celtic, Romany, somewhere off the M74 roots.
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@popledge
It sometimes happens when the vibes are strong and the spirits and all the midgies are flyin’ about. I sort of take it on my chin. It swells up like a pensioners ankle. Strange. Comes with the territory I guess.
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@LeicesterRat
@realclintonb
Of course I do! I literally worship the ground thats comin’ tae him.
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@stuartevans1974
@realclintonb
Dirty wee shite. It’s no’ a needle you need it’s a bar of soap for that gob of yours.
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@SC_LT_Bede
@realclintonb
Freddie is very well. He’s singing a lot up there at the moment and is doing a fair amount of touring. A recent event near planet X145a didn’t go so well so he’s having his protruding teeth enlarged as he needs more range in his voice. The Greys like high frequencies apparently.
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@sebastianconway
@alexlowe51
@lewismacleod
@realclintonb
Superb!! We should hire you as assistant PR!! Thanks! Delighted you enjoyed the show!!
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@FTMBezza
@realclintonb
It was an effect of the drugs. An hour later I looked like Zsa Zsa Gabor.
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@stouffer666
@realclintonb
@nigeloid
It’s hereditary. A conveyor belt game passed down the Generation like Bruce Forsyth. I don’t know how many slow cookers they're won through the years. Honestly.The only time I feel happy for him is Christmas when he leans over the dining table for extra stuffing.
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@rowansteven1
@realclintonb
That’s outrageous. That poor man has had work done that’s went horribly wrong.
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@windmolenjonge
@realclintonb
Well what a lovely review Windoleen! I’m thrilled you enjoyed the last show. I thought it was a bag of shite but there you go. If he was more decent he’d issue loyalty cards for people like yersel . But he’s as tight as a Duck’s arse. And that’s watertight.
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@MarkHarrison15
@realclintonb
She’s probably up there right now gettin lessons on how to sit in the back of a rickshaw.
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@Tim_Media
@realclintonb
@Rawkage
Thanks for your question. Looking at the Artex ceiling I sometimes get a whump in my bowel. And all I keep hearing is Rawkage Sewage Rawkage Sewage.If there’s music playing tell him to remove the lid in case it starts slamming along to the beat. Domestos kills all ghosts DEAD.
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@Only1PaulBanks
@realclintonb
Thank you Paul. Much appreciated. The wifi was gettin’ a lot of ectoplasmic interrupts but we crossed the streams North and South and knocked it oot the park.
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@B___K_____
@realclintonb
@joelycett
Ben there were a few moments I had to let him wander off topic as he was getting mixed up with timelines, seasons, recollections of ever being married and administrative tasks but once we had ironed out the creases. We were flying.
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@windmolenjonge
@realclintonb
Whit kinda weekend breaks?! Extra equipment?! Would that be a monopoly board?
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@mrbadger71
@realclintonb
Thats unfair. He’s at least 3 pounds heavier than me in that picture.
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@LisaRhubarb
@realclintonb
Oooh! That was some jolt. All those ancient Westlers coming through me.
Slammed onto the floor they were. Terrible mess.
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@FTMBezza
@realclintonb
I’m gutted for you Berek. It’s been a hellish year. I Was up the wall when I found out it got cancelled. I haven’t swore that much since a group of needle users came round to my house demanding to watch trainspotting off their tits.
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@LisaRhubarb
@lewismacleod
@realclintonb
@alexlowe51
@slondonuk
@1129Media1
Aw Fuck him hen. You carry oan wi’ yer head held high. And cherish that coin. It’s gonna make you a Golden thread that will lift you over the threshold and into Saturn’s pocket.
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@andy_muirhead
@realclintonb
Shocking. They can be very cruel. If this apparition asks you to sleep on the wall, Take a deep breath and shout ‘GET TAE. GO ON! GET TAE’. As for the cakes.. Replace with blanched garlic. They hate the smell. Hope this helps. Faceless Angel waters to you.
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