DS
@Pu55yman_Dan
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61,948
Following
8,730
Media
1,681
Statuses
15,688
Still a top lad. Now kissed 6 girls but plan to do more. Got bare tattoos and a few beards. Reem 18+ please gamble responsibly
Joined June 2021
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Last Seen Profiles
Footballer Benjamin Mendy said he slept with 10,000 women, court hears
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Referee
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Mate told me to book a minibus for Leicester's away game today. Lads all got on at 8am excited drinking beers. Two hours later someone told the driver Blackburn is north & we are driving south.
I stood up & said " Oh you meant Leicester men's? Maybe say that then." Long story…
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Mates at the pub just asked me if I'm looking forward to football being back this weekend. I asked if they were time travellers.
All looked confused before I said " It seems you have gone back to the 20th July when football restarted with New Zealand v Norway in the Women's…
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Made to do a forefit in the pub cus I lost a bet. Never coming out with this lot again lol
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Just been downstairs and opened everyone's presents to save time tomorrow
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Rules for Millwall away tomorrow. Gonna be a decent one got major cup fever tonight
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Joey Barton got over 600 likes for his pathetic engagement fishing sexist tweet about women in football. Let's see if this can get more - Women are welcome in every work place. Football is for everyone.
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@laura_woodsy
Laura honestly I'm getting so fed up of him. Had to take a few minutes off work to calm down. I'm tempted to message him asking to meet me one on one. Man to man. Something tells me he will decline this offer.
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Someone in my group chat just said Only variant I'll be getting this weekend is the drinking beer variant main symptoms are drinking beer then headache the next day lol quality
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@tomvvardle
So was women's football for decades. The law is sometimes wrong pal.
@zaralarsson
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Leicester fan PRANKS Coventry City ticket office after the Foxes score a last minute winner to emerge victorious in the M69 Derby 👇👇 You won't believe their reaction 😭
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The crappest geezer
The moment the last runner crossed the line on The Mall at the London Marathon.
Vishal crossed the ceremonial finish line on The Mall at around 19.30pm.
Runners have until midnight tonight to win a medal and finish in St James Park.
#londonmarathon
#marathon
#london
#runner
…
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Just got back from the airport to greet the Lionesses back. Only bloke there. After 4 hours a staff member noticed I'd been waiting a long time.
Him - " Can I get you anything?"
Me - " 23 bottles of water"
Him - " 23?! Are they all for your family?"
Me - " Not mine." He then…
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Everyone moaning that temu can steal your photos for advertising who cares I think it'd be quality I wanna see my face on Chinese washing up powder and be the English Mr Sparkle loads of people would be proud of me
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On Saturday a girl in police uniform came up and asked if she could arrest me and I said Where's your constabulary number and ID and she didnt have it on her so told the bouncer and they chucked her out. Nobody can scam me
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Mate mate mate I just got sick of banging a different bird every weekend so found religion mate aha more to life want a traditional woman now no ran through slags aha. That new Spanish shisha mahkdri is a lovely smoke pal. Inshallow mate you big dry lunch will miss Zante though
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Called an ambulance and said hurry it's an emergency. When they turned up I was on the floor and the paramedic said " Is anything broken?" And I said yes, mine and the countries spirits. She came over to me, I got up and we both just sobbed and hugged. She knew.
#Lionesses
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I honestly think Luke Littlers story only got so much attention cus he's so young. If he was 35 and played in finals before I don't think people would've been bringing up his age all the time
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please sign this my last one didn't go so well. And we are running out of time the game is next Tuesday.
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Someone came up to me at pure gym and said wow you're strong and I said not as strong as the girls who were told they couldn't play football in PE throughout the years
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And the stigma still lingers on 78 years later. A simple text and chat over a glühwein could have prevented this. Remember to text SHOUT on 85258 and a member of the team will message back immediately. You matter ❤
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@coachingbyeley
We've got a paedo living few streets away and he's a big softie really 🥰 if anything he'll try and lick you to death! It's always the glasses never the sex offender remember that!
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4 years ago my managers computer crashed. He asked who had saved their work and I said " Mary Earps" nobody laughed.
On Friday I made the same joke and five others got the reference. Its still not enough but it shows the effect this heroic world cup campaign has had on everyday…
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Just got into London bought some flowers now heading to the place where Pete from Green Street died in that fight against Millwall. Showing my respects from a Leicester fan
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Just had three young lads knock and shout trick or treat. " No problem" I said. I came back two minutes later & dropped something in their bags.
" What's this?" One asked " Lionesses - Football came home DVD. You can't eat that" another said. I turned & replied " Chocolate…
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They'll be people tomorrow who haven't wore a mask since July 18th putting one on and looking down on others for not doing the same because a government they hate & don't trust told them to. Clown country level 1000000
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Gimme gimme gimme a madri at midnight
Won't somebody help me with my men's mental health
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Back in the UK. Went for a piss on the plane & walked out shaking everyone's hand saying I'd joined the mile high club. Everyone started laughing then air hostess explained what it was. I thought it was someone who'd just been to the toilet on a plane. Embarrassed but home safe
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Yeah funny getting me a cat calender because I'm called pussyman not so funny when it's kittens which is insinuating I'm a paedo. Cheesed off and cross.
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With the war and Evertons point deduction I thought it was time to start a you tube channel. I'll be posting videos also about my football manager journey. DanielsYoutube956 not for snow flakes
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Told one of the lads who's coming Naples that were going Nepal and he's just spent £850 on a flight there before we told him the truth. Good old fashioned pranking strengthens a friendship group I've always said it
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Got asked earlier if we should show sexism and racism the red card. I was like absolutely not, everyone gasped then I said anything with a red card comes back after 3 games, and I'd like a more permanent solution. Don't do it for praise but everyone said thank you
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Boss just text me asking why I'm not in today. Told him I'm poorly. He asked what's wrong.
I said my symptoms are I woke up with red crosses on my face, racing heart, over excitement and major confusion with why he let the office have the morning off for England's mens world…
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Mates asked me if I wanted to go out in Leicester tonight. Said of course there's a good place I know, £10 entry I'll book it.
In the Uber there & everyone excited, I said close your eyes ive got a surprise. Handed them each a ticket for tonight's Lionesses v Belgium match at…
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Mate mate this is your crew member speaking please remain seated until the seatbelt signs are off it's bang out of order mate I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than put the safety of fellow passengers at risk don't be a sausage
Virgin Atlantic is the first mainline airline to allow their crew to show off tattoos. What do we think?
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Cool new feature I've just found! It lets you direct message yourself! Very funny thanks Elon. Keep doing what you're doing mate
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Amazing moment just happened in Tesco got asked if I've wished anyone a happy women's day yet and I said no paused then said because every day is womens day for me. They all started clapping me but I walked off cus I don't do it for praise or female attention
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Glastonbury ticket prices are a joke they're only charging that much cus it's all the big acts guarantee if it was all smaller bands nobody had heard of they'd charge a fraction of the price
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Out for Christmas Dinner and said to the bar maid What did Santa say to Rudolph? It's time to deliver some presents cus it's Christmas. She laughed and then I shagged her
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Who wears the sea weed look better???
RT for Molly Malone
LIKE for Pussyman Dan
IGNORE if you don't want to vote and that's fine ain't gonna force you I ain't like that
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Just been for a meal at Las Iguanas. Wife asked for salt & waiter gave us pepper. I stood up & said " Not the first time a Spaniard has given a woman something they didn't want this week" everyone looked at me before I said
" And just like the president of the FA, you should…
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Ages ago. Leicester scored and I got my shirt stuck on my head during the celebrations so left as couldn't see anything pointless staying
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@LCFC
Not really early. NHS workers have to be up a good 6-7 hours before this kick off time saving lives but you probably don't care about that. Very ill thought out tweet
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@Joey7Barton
Come to Leicester NOW. I'm going to my swimming lesson at 4 but free until then. You wouldn't even get in the England under 7s let alone the womens team when we are done fighting
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Thank you to all the NHS staff for working over the Bank Holiday weekend
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Ryanair letting the people who got a priority boarding pass get on the plane first absolute joke great start to the holiday
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All war and conflict around the world needs to stop now. No more excuses.
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Mate dared me to review the hotel I'm in for Benidorm on Thursday ( haven't stopped there yet) and I did it haha. Gonna be a quality Holiday this lol
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@nikefootball
Looks crap I'll be wearing my old England shirt even if I get bean juice down it I'd rather wear that than this
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@headspaceman
Nobody clapped just said thanks. The table of women near us didn't hear it ( which I'm glad because I don't do it for praise)
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Walked past a gospel choir earlier. They said " Are you a Christian?" I said " yeah I believe in Mary but not Joseph" they looked confused.
Ran off and shouted Earps yes Barton no. Massive celebration went up & they even gave me a tangerine to say thanks
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In a gaff with 10 of us only two bathrooms so we've all had a group shower to save time. Was such a laugh lobbing soap and squirting gel at each other singing Leicester chants love the lads so much
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As if I'm gonna open a message like that when I'm travelling back from Wembley after watching the lionesses. Swearing in Leicester group chats is not on please stop or I'll remove myself
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FA Cup replays being scrapped will literally just harm lower league clubs.
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Funny how the government can get rid of these shops but not pedos and nonces
Wilko workers in Worksop gave an emotional farewell as the town's shop shut its doors for the final time 👋
Read more about what happened to Wilko:
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@Joey7Barton
Reported you again to X regulation and hate speech team. Just cus it's a new year doesn't mean I'm any more forgiving. If anything I've got more cheesed off. Congratulations Joey you've pushed me too far this time
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Not making fun of any team that loses an FA Cup game this weekend look what happened to Caroline Flack
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@SlowSportsNews
He's manager of Leicester not Liverpool how do sky make basic errors like this
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Taxi driver - Where are you from?
Me - England
Taxi driver - So in England it's now 3.58pm instead of 5.58pm because you are two hours behind us
Honestly never laughed so much like I have today it's been amazing.
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At the pub & mate just asked the table if anyone still sends Christmas cards. I stand up & say " Only card I'm sending this year is a red one to Joey Bolton for his sick tweets" bar maid heard & offered me a free pint but I turned it down ain't profiting off basic human decency.
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That's rain
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Exchanging presents with the family. Got to me & was asked where they were. I got up & said " you've all already had the best gift possible this year but it was given on the 19th December" then showed them a photo of Mary Earps with the SPOTY trophy.
Parents then said thank you…
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Didn't expect to get involved in this whilst out Christmas shopping but what an afternoon. Fuck your vaccine passports and your lockdowns
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Messing with a scammer. I can't believe she thought I was being serious. Stupid but funny!
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Vardy . Leicester shirt
Reply with a pic of a celeb in a footy kit 👇
Macaulay Culkin - West Ham ⚒️
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At the pub last night we all started shouting Poooo instead of siiiu. Laughed my head off Love the lads so much what a day
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But my pitty killer nails is an absolute CUTIE 🥰 only time he ever attacks is if someone jumps, makes sudden movements, laughs, talks, yawns, walks, runs and looks at him or has their back to him. People just don't know how to handle this beautiful breed 🥰
Two XL bully dogs kill 22 sheep in savage attack after escaping from their home
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Yes he does and he's about to update his bio! It's Seven it's heaven for Pussyman Daaaaaan
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@laura_woodsy
Another sexist put in his place. Find his IP address and I'll go down and sort it out for you :). Not that you can't handle it yourself but you're busy doing your presenting. I'm free this evening to kick some ass :)
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@SlowSportsNews
Why would he leave Leverkusen they're going to win the league absolute joke Bayern swooping again honestly can't be arsed with football anymore I'm literally done
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Nonsense. We've got two gorgeous pittys called razor nails & prison teeth, they're great with kids. My 6 year old took them out for a walk earlier on his own & they've been gone 9 hours must mean they all love spending time together & don't want to come home 🥰 so adorable🥹
WARNING DISTRESSING VIDEO - out of control bully breed attacking multiple people in Birmingham today.
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