Dear Dr. Hoopenlooper,. Please expunge my weigh-ins and cholesterol levels from my medical history, as the numbers are unpleasant. MT.

My church bake sales have always been successful, that is until Darlene added an additional 35% commission.

🤝 Uniting to Inspire Greatness:. This summer, we’re proud to welcome Eileen Gu to the TCL family as our Global Brand Ambassador!. We’re on a mission to change the world through passion and courage with the Olympic champion freestyle skier. Eileen’s passion for progress pushes

I consider myself a VIP at the CVS.

There’s nothing more comforting than color coordinated Pyrex lids.

I’m at the age where l can’t tell if it’s a mosquito or an eye floater.

Helen announced at Prayer Breakfast she has painful red chafing. I quietly recommended a prescription ointment from the office of Dr. Gary Hoopenlooper.

Helen brought plastic salad scissor tongs when the occasion clearly called for stainless steel. Somebody needs to make things right, and that somebody is always me.

The news has never been more captivating. Hoover#.Tidy#

Exclamation points have a time and place in a civilized society. Use them sparingly to avoid creating undue drama.

RT @mostlysports: Nick Kurtz had a historic night in baseball and that's why he's @BFW's Game Changing Moment of the Week @SportClips https….

Home decor tips by Myrna™ . Jesus prefers fluroscent lighting and so do I.

I empathize with the less fortunate as long as they stay out of my neighborhood.

Our Sunday church coffee hour has been overtaken by roving mobs of wild youths, and we’re not gonna take it anymore. I’m cracking down with more signs, re-directing these hoodlums to the Hydrox and orange drink.

There is no reason on earth to announce your colonoscopy plans.

Today at the church coffee Doris spelled a bad word with the Splenda packets.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

It’s church o’ clock somewhere.

I like to inspire young minds by showing them a Keurig machine.

In a market full of competition, we claimed victory. And in July, we didn’t just survive. We dominated .🧵.

Dear Pastor Carmichael:. You misspelled my name in the church bulletin. From now on I’ll assume everything you say is wrong. MT.

Helen’s blouse tag was visible at church today (XL) so l have no idea what Jesus had to say.

Butter is never optional.