‘Miserable’ Pablo Torre 🕳️
@PabloTorre
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We've spent months reporting the true story of two Yankees pitchers — two best friends! — who traded their wives, kids, pets, and houses, in the wildest transaction in sports history.
And the film, written by the great
@davidhmandel
, that never was.
🎥➡️
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Threatening nuclear war on Twitter feels like a terms of service violation
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Next time someone complains about “rich athletes” protesting racial inequality, ask yourself how often we listen to the voices of the poor
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Riots are bad and that’s why we would all respect a completely peaceful and polite way to famously protest police brutality that involved silently kneeling before America at like an NFL game
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My favorite character in the Urban Meyer Cinematic Universe is, of course, the shirtless boat guy who was allegedly hitting a bong in the mirror of Urban Meyer’s Big Ten Network live shot in 2020
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If Ray Allen wants his record back and can test negative this week this thing isn’t over
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Marianne Williamson is doing an incredible job for someone who is obviously digesting an edible on television
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It is time to show the world that nobody stays home and sits on the couch better than the goddamn United States of America
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Myles Garrett totally failed to respect the difference between consensual and nonconsensual brain damage
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For the last time: asking me to select all the squares with traffic lights in them is a HIPAA violation
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I love that Aaron Rodgers, the biggest critic of Big Pharma in professional sports, came out of the darkness and realized that he wants to work for the billionaire heir to the Johnson & Johnson pharmaceutical fortune
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The Mariah Carey NYE performance is the groundhog that decides whether the next year is gonna be good or not
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When Scottie Pippen speaks my subwoofer turns my whole apartment into the glass of water in Jurassic Park
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Nothing says AMERICA FIRST more than rooting against *checks notes* the literal U.S national team because they *checks notes* peacefully exercised freedom of speech
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Jayson Tatum became the first Twitter user in history to beg a pro athlete for a follow and then literally dunk on them
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In the end, Andrew Wiggins got vaxxed and then became an All-Star starter. SALUTE, KING
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Yesterday began with me hugging Bo and sprinting out of the office because my pregnant wife was going into early labor. It ended with our TV show getting cancelled while we were at the hospital. All of which is to…
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Congrats to Kyler on becoming the first Asian-American athlete to ever be publicly shamed for not studying enough
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Cam’s gonna show up at his postgame presser wearing the biggest goddamn hat you’ve ever seen
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The NFL is America’s pastime because no other sport turns absolute incompetence into more incredible entertainment
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Congrats to Mariano Rivera on joining Bruce Springsteen as the only humans with 100% approval ratings from the Baseball Writers' Association of America
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Shoutout to Enes Kanter, who’s been using his name and voice to fight an authoritarian government while some of his colleagues use burner accounts to fight you on Twitter
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BREAKING: Mitt Romney is having dinner with Russell Westbrook and will now endorse him for MVP
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Mike Trout is so good at superrich anonymity that he surrounds himself with Decoy Mike Trouts like he’s the Queen of Naboo
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How O.J. is gonna survive in a world that is set up to reward surrealist attention-seeking nostalgia monsters with questionable legal pasts?
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Fact that LaVar actually raised two top-5 picks is insane.
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Literally every time you refresh Twitter there's a new video that suggests that our country is an utter hellscape
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Charles Barkley’s career is a profound human lesson. He never won any rings, but I am always struck by how much happier he is than pretty much all of the guys who did
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Blake, congrats on scoring 50! First question: WAS CHRIS PAUL A BAD TEAMMATE?
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Kyrie is being interrogated live on First Take as a worldwide manhunt for KD's secret social media accounts is underway. GOD BLESS THE NBA
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“Little” PJ Tucker is 6’5” and weighs 250 pounds with a *7-foot* wingspan. He can guard centers because you play defense with your body, not the very top of your skull
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Aaron Rodgers put on an anti-cancel culture hoodie to spread verifiably false information about how India and Japan use Ivermectin to treat COVID. Can we please stop pretending that he’s smart
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Never bet against Joel Embiid at an arena where Rihanna might randomly show up
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I have never been a quitter. To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as President, I must put the interest of America first. And there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos.
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I have a new job and, yes, finally, a podcast:
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I started watching the movie Kyrie tweeted out to prepare for today's episode of
@debatable
. And if you were wondering exactly how insanely anti-Semitic it is, just know that they show this quote from "Adolph Hitler," as such:
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Erasing that Max Strus three several minutes/possessions after it happened in a Game 7 is an NBA multiverse incursion event
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Yes, the tabloid rumors are true: I am dating Pete Davidson
Pablo Torre, Jason Sudeikis, and Pete Davidson….Barclays Center socialites
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Josh Allen plays like he makes decisions via Twitter poll
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CORRECTION: Chris Paul hid in a dining cart as Trevor Ariza, wearing a security uniform and fake mustache, wheeled him into the Clippers locker room
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Imagine trying to explain to an alien how silently genuflecting in front of the flag is disrespectful but this is not
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Kyrie isn’t anti-vaxxer. He’s just an anti-anti-anti-vaxxer. Glad we cleared this up
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An all-time comeback by ESPN Analytics. My god.
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This is an absolutely insane take. Everyone knows that Michael Jordan is the Greatest Demon-Conjuring Illuminati Wizard of All Time
Right-wing conspiracy theorist Sheila Zilinsky warns that LeBron James in an "Illuminati wizard' who is "conjuring up demons before every game" by tossing chalk into the air.
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Innumerable Men Throughout History: Discussing mental health will undermine my masculinity
DeMar DeRozan:
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Working in a cubicle near Stephen A. Smith is approximately 500x better than I thought it would be.
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Sam Cassell Nicki Minaj’s Cousin
🤝
Telling people about your giant balls after taking a shot
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I'm told that Knicks players and employees are furious that the team hasn't made a public statement about George Floyd. And I just obtained the e-mail that owner Jim Dolan sent to MSG employees today defending the organization's decision to stay silent:
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Lol @ anyone who actually stopped watching sports
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Woke up offended at the Caitlin Clark/Steph Curry comparisons because Steph isn't anywhere near as good at talking comically disrespectful amounts of shit
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Trae Young is the Wario of Steph Curry
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I don’t think LeBron is more hypocritical than the average person who really cares about some social issues but not at all about others. But his scolding of Daryl Morey is staggeringly incoherent
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I am not exaggerating when I say that the best — or worst — thing
#ESPNDaily
has ever done involves
@JeffPassan
’s musical
#WorldSeries
tribute to Randy Arozarena. WHICH MAY NEVER LEAVE MY BRAIN.
@RaysBaseball
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Harden campaigning against Morey in China — where Daryl is NBA Enemy No. 1 for tweeting FREE HONG KONG — is why James is easily the greatest trade-demander of all time. A verbal, geopolitical fatsuit
"James Harden lost Daryl Morey and that is all you need to know. Daryl Morey is the number one James Harden apologist of all-time." –
@PabloTorre
provides insight after Harden ripped Morey.
Subscribe to
@pablofindsout
now!
📺
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Having played video games online, I can assure you that many, many, many children know what the F word is
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It seems like the Green Bay Packers are in.............. *pause* ......... Jeopardy 😎
Reigning MVP Aaron Rodgers is so disgruntled with the Green Bay Packers that he has told some within the organization that he does not want to return to the team, league and team sources told ESPN on Thursday.
More on NFL Live now....
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I love Paul George returning to OKC for 3+1 years because it serves as an enduring reminder that we don’t actually know these dudes at all
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Shoutout to the person getting paid to be Rodney Harrison’s Fonzworth Bentley
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How many games if a player sides with one of America’s enemies against the FBI
AP reporting that the Dolphins will enforce a new policy this season called the "Proper Anthem Conduct." Players who protest on the field during the national anthem could be suspended up to 4 games, be hit with a fine or both.
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I can't believe the Eagles are *checks notes* trying to get a better draft pick instead of helping the New York Giants
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P.S. Here’s what I found out about the Harden trade
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I think we can all agree, at long last, that our nation’s biggest problem is “cancel culture”
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Hey remember the time the NBA warmly welcomed Bryan Colangelo in replacement of Sam Hinkie because Sam Hinkie was deemed too embarrassing for the league
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Pls excuse me while I recruit a dozen celebrities to whisper-sing ”In the End” by Linkin Park into their cell phone cameras
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I love Tony on so many levels. His quotes in here genuinely mean a lot to me. That said, he also predicted that Darko would be better than LeBron
Tony Kornheiser predicts that Pablo Torre and Bomani Jones will one day take over PTI
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I mean...
Dude on High Noon said Gardner Minshew looks like David Arquette dressed up as Baker Mayfield for Halloween 😂
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“Asian-Americans don’t get to be ‘from’ America.”
To understand how
@Marlins
GM Kim Ng became the first female GM in major US sports history — and MLB’s first Asian-American GM — you should know about this one night. Exactly 17 years before.
#ESPNDaily
:
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Stephen Jackson spreading this insanely bigoted, anti-Semitic conspiracy shit is such a gift to the awful people who despise the legitimate causes he fights for.
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JOEL: I’m gonna stop talking trash
ALSO JOEL:
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Ajayi is what an Australian person calls a Blount
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The most disturbing thing about the Devin Funchess and Juventus stories is that so many people still have no idea what the most obvious anti-Asian racial slurs even are.
#ESPNDaily
:
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Cannot wait for Aaron Rodgers to complain about how he got cancelled
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We did it.
Jalen Green and Jordan Clarkson become the first two players of Filipino descent to share the court in an NBA game! 🇵🇭
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Hell of a morning for people who can't stand criticism of America while unironically wearing Make America Great Again hats
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