went to the small penis support group to vent about when you’re sitting down to use the bathroom and it doesn’t reach low enough so the pee dribbles down your balls and all they told me is “hey sorry the guys are all intimidated by having a girl here, can you please leave”
when twitter dies and we’re all on whatever the next thing is, there’s gonna be a bunch of trans women who used to have 5 digit followers who talk like they were part of a royal family that was chased out by some revolution
sometimes your bottoms may need to let out a few “i love you”s during sex [1]. don’t take it too seriously, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything [citation needed] they just need to let it out. it is dangerous for them to hold it in [2]
the typical idea with dunk tanks is that some guy antagonizes people so they want to dunk him
but what if instead it were a cute nervous girl who’s so pathetic you want to dunk her again and again
a girl saying “you seem like you’d be fun to drug” is like the second best drug in the world (right behind whichever ones she chooses to give you, of course)
“I love you I love you I love you 🥺” could mean anything from “you are good at sex, I am enjoying this” to “you own my soul and I would die for you” and attempting to discern between them in the moment is a fool’s errand. [3]
me in bed last night: god I wanna be someone’s property
me in bed tonight: god I wanna be someone’s property
me in bed tomorrow: god I wanna be someone’s property
me in bed the night after tomorrow: god I wanna be someone’s property
me in bed the night after the night after t
I like how everyone's like "yes of course I would" but I just took the loss and moved on. I tried hard to save this little icy guy, but I just couldn't find him (he was moving and I couldn't catch up) and I live with the consequences of my mistakes
experts suggest the best way to figure it out is to wait until sometime after the sex to test their devotion. try asking them to give up something precious to them or to do something against their morals such as taking an innocent life to see how far they would go for you [4]
domme who gets a new puppy (like as in an actual dog, she already had you) and begins training you the same as the dog
teaching you to eat and do tricks right alongside the dog. treated equally
@vexwerewolf
@CMDR_Valkyrie
two sided accidental heteroereoticism too! Like a single sided accident is probably common when one person mistakes the other's gender while the other is correct. But for both to mistake each other? Legendary
@notstupidgaycat
"It's so sad. My best friend since childhood is the exact same person she's always been but now she has tits and a rocking ass. I can't stop thinking about it, clearly I am grieving"
I definitely recommend this to anyone afraid of coming out. like go get hormones and stuff now if you're able and want to, you can worry about telling people later
I didn't come out to anyone irl until I had been on hrt for five months, and I'm really happy about that decision
i have to say, my strat of just like, medically transitioning without telling people first and just forcing everyone to deal with it has worked fabulously. Telling people in advance felt too much like seeking approval. Like, this shit is happening whether you like it or not
the cure for male loneliness is estrogen. odds are it cures your loneliness, worst case scenario you end up with female loneliness instead which some would consider an improvement
hey can you just like put in a dating app "looking for a girl to have me over all day for sex, except sex is torturing me beyond my breaking point" or do you gotta like casually bring that up later
hey bro I got a great idea, let's fight. but we'll do it by like kissing, and whichever one of us pulls away loses, so you gotta keep kissing me as much as you can. this'll be so awesome bro, I love fighting you
@b0tster
okay but actually the idea of giving a kid bunlith as just some random cute animal plushie is so funny. like I wonder if they'd ever find out where it came from, just this weird goth bunny plushie
polyamory tip: do not date exactly three people at the same time! if you ever gather all your partners in one room, there is a chance a fairy will appear and force you to play fuck marry kill with them
it is advised that you stick to only two partners until you can skip to four
bored of puppygirls and catgirls. where are the birdgirls at?
you wanna be in a little cage and sing pretty songs for your owner? go to bed when a sheet covers it? bob your head along with your owner’s hand? completely ignorant to your potential to be free & flying in the sky?
this is tragic. inevitable sure, but still a shame
Pikmin 2 is one of the few games where the product placement feels right, as you're collecting up relics of human civilization (this is supposed to be a duracell battery in the US version, and National Hi-Top battery in Japan)
oh god my domme makes me capitalize references to her when DMing, so like I always have to type "You" and "Your" instead of "you" or "your"
and I just realized that typing the capital Y became a habit... gotta be careful of that in the work slack
@indigogloves
the only reason she should be making him that many drinks is so she can sneak more poison in without affecting the individual tastes too much
There’s a scene in the Rugrats where to show the passage of time they focus on the house as trees bloom, the sun rises higher, leaves fall off & then it snows. Standard stuff. Then it cuts to Drew greeting Stu saying “crazy weather we’ve had this week.” That, to me, is cinema.
@again_claire
@ErinInTheMorn
This was my thought! What if we just tried on some new pronouns or names for the dog? Either nonbinary or masculine, whichever
I can’t tell if it’s funny or sad to see a terf like “if trans women are lesbians why don’t they date other trans women 🤔” and then hundreds of qrts of “what are you talking about? nearly all of us do” and they just reply to their own post like “lol I made them angry!”
come on!
an AI metroidvania is the worst idea
oh yeah you know Hollow Knight that really creative and interesting game that challenges you with learning and mastering an intentionally designed world and difficult but fulfilling combat? yeah, what if that was just infinite slop instead?
I am really excited to reveal what
@GoogleDeepMind
's Open Endedness Team has been up to 🚀. We introduce Genie 🧞, a foundation world model trained exclusively from Internet videos that can generate an endless variety of action-controllable 2D worlds given image prompts.
are you struggling with feeling unloved? try pushing away the person who loves you most! now you don’t have to worry about those feelings anymore, no more struggling ^_^
For the
#Sequester
and
#RHAP
communities that did not get to watch the RHAP Sequester Mini last Friday, here is the recording of what I watched that night. Not as good as watching live, but this might be the best we have.
great question matt. historically the meaning of the length of a penis has varied. we’ve come a long way from mesopotamia (judged by modern standards, that crescent isn’t so fertile). we live in a modern post-freud post-viagra world. so with that cultural context in mind… (1/52)
@girlmeat5557
I feel like if your sex starts with your partner explaining their kinks you know nothing about, you’re already doomed to a bad time. and like they don’t even do any of the kinks!
I posted a selfie earlier today and it got three likes and I am being so normal about it. social media has no impact on my wellbeing whatsoever, no ma’am
anyway for no reason at all, I am reminding you all about my tongue
when I backed the System Shock remake kickstarter 7 years ago I kind of figured I’d have a good enough PC to run it when it came out
Good to hear mostly positive things. Keep an eye out for a disembodied head with my deadname on it rolling around somewhere in the reactor level
lost a mutual today cause she hates bi lesbians. god this discourse is annoying, just let people be.
just tweeting this out cause like if you've got a problem with mspec identies you can just like leave please.
@funkpwer
She got rid of her fall person because they weren’t Christian??? Like if she doesn’t like you saying it’s goofy, why would she not just stick to the plan to pin it on you with new motivation?
it's fucking bullshit that you can have your pet take a flight with you as cargo, but you're not allowed to send a girl like that even though she fits in the same cage just fine
girl who spends an hour rolling like an okay joint. it’s fine, can we smoke it now or do you want to try again? it’s okay i’m not bored at all, i love mindlessly scrolling through twitter while you mumble to yourself about tucking and making those sad whining noises
@cirkelnio
don’t know how exactly the screenshot will look, but this is what I’m seeing on mobile with dark, can just barely see the light version, idk if that’s intend d
this is so cool tho