heɪz(ə)l
@cisgenderhaver
Followers
11K
Following
188K
Media
11K
Statuses
138K
sovereign of the hazeldom definitely 47 years old
Joined October 2017
not to be woke but does your sister not have a sink.
My sister mentioned to her man she had to go to the store for water. Within 30 mins this was outside her door 😭❤️
2K
4K
276K
my dad, definitely not autistic, just told me he has a spreadsheet of absolutely every single transaction he makes. 8000-10000 per year. I asked if he would log it if he found money on the ground and he said yes.
679
5K
245K
have just been sent some important photos which i'll share here with you all now
608
25K
130K
could this work? I think yes but only if we work together as a team
335
9K
92K
passing tips for trans guys are like "load the dishwasher like a jackass".
93
4K
55K
not to be charlie kelly really quick here but ive been eating this regularly (about 12oz a day) and i almost always fall asleep right after i finish eating it.
I found a brand of paté cat food that has so much filler in it that it actually counts as vegan due to its low meat content so I'm trying it out
339
2K
45K
in america you're allowed to just say "Joanne Rowling is a nazi" and no one can make you apologize.
On 13 March I tweeted that JK Rowling “is a Holocaust denier”. That allegation was false and offensive. I have deleted it and apologise to JK Rowling.
86
3K
37K
btw this is 500lbs of water lmao not even counting the packaging and bottles or vitamin water. do you know how pissed I would be if I was like "I'm gonna get a water" and someone was like "here's 500lbs of shit to carry alone into your home".
162
208
34K
friends girlfriend is trying to quit soda and has invented what she calls "sad Pepsi" where she cuts the Pepsi with an increasingly large proportion of water.
130
1K
27K
first they came for the trans and the gays but you don't know that because the guy who wrote that poem hated us too.
25
2K
26K
the good non-binary body, not the other, worse non-binary body I could have been cursed with :).
127
1K
23K
he clarified there's a "materiality cutoff" for small amounts.
21
76
20K
I must matched with a triad that seems extraordinarily evil lmao
164
519
19K
cumbandit came by again ln :/ he never even leaves real cum
41
1K
18K
I'm an adult who doesn't have friends and think there should be a place that isn't dominated by alcohol and 80-100dB sounds to meet other queer people to become friends with
save me alcohol free queer space that isn't loud as fuck and also isn't a drag show save me.
411
2K
17K
inclusive denim is here!!! also, every trans man is 5'2 and needs a 28 inch length
183
596
17K
asked the fr*nch guy down the hall how it's going and he called me a tresbien?.
53
915
16K
cis girl I went to high school with randomly got this text message from a Texas number
63
370
16K
coming out with my apparently radical opinion that it's okay to have sex with whoever you want as long as they also want to have sex with you, and it doesn't elevate or demean the relationship you two share, or change its status compared to other relationships.
57
1K
14K
you'll never guess what the child this photo is in reply to looks like based on this image lmao.
107
304
14K
wept actual tears of joy last night upon having the realization that I've recently started to smile when I see my own reflection.
30
388
14K
guy I went to grade school with asks really interested questions about being trans so I've started just outright sending him shit like this and bro is in deep denial lmao
32
244
13K
I can't believe there's really a new class of detransitioner who basically just kind of thought about being trans and decided it wasn't for them and now calls themselves "ex trans" and shit lmao saddest attempt at adding legitimacy to invalid thoughts I've ever seen.
57
824
12K
"cis is a made up word to-" .im gonna stop you right there until you can provide me an example of a word which was not made up.
79
971
12K
me: i dated someone polyamorously and didn't think it was a competition until 6 months in when they made it clear it was a competition the entire time.randos: if you think it's a competition then you're doing it wrong! why is your capacity for love so small and pathetic & limited.
43
213
12K
my transfemme friend joined the local women's softball league, and at her first at-bat hit a home run so hard it actually shot a hole through the biologically female pitcher who was killed instantly by the impact.
47
636
11K
if you open your phone sometimes you can find a bag of chips the person who assembled it accidentally left inside
141
1K
10K
we're non binary♀️ and we're looking for some non binary♂️ friends!!.
42
220
10K
save me alcohol free queer space that isn't loud as fuck and also isn't a drag show save me.
123
718
9K
yesterday my mom, who has never missed an election, told me she shreds her paper to make it lighter for the sanitation workers to carry, could not provide a justification as to how this would work materially, and absolutely refused to say she might be mistaken lol.
56
126
9K
A lot of people on Twitter seem to think I'm being rude with these couples, but I think I'm frequently very polite and straightforward about what I want
36
136
9K
@deltathetwo we decided it works that way because there needed to exist a consistent way for it to work.
0
32
9K
yes I'm non binary.yes I'm afab .yes I'm dating a cis man.yes he is blisteringly straight and has never used my correct pronouns when I'm not around.we exist.
97
267
8K
afab? amab? how about igrab you by the waist and kiss you?.
57
1K
8K
I'm not saying reddit OP is lying but I am saying that their roommate is totally fucking with them lol like that glass is completely spotless
40
178
7K
another swing and a miss I'm afraid. I know that the cishet couple who will let me hit is out there though
6
32
7K
sorry I flirted with you in a deeply unserious way, for some weird reason I never internalized other people being attracted to me.
13
1K
7K
I think it's normal to be in romantic love with your friends and I think that the world be a substantially better place if other people believed this too.
People keep saying this lmao. 100% they do not have friends. No one thinks it’s normal to be in romantic love with your friends.
37
488
7K
@ratlimit My mother who has surprisingly not been killed in a road rage accident will take the keys out of her ignition and dangle them out the driver side window if someone honks at her at a right on red.
2
161
7K
did y'all know Bernadette Wagenblast, the voice of the new york subway system (among many other things), is a trans woman? hell yeah
67
347
6K
@MannyToast the question asking subreddits boil down to a few primal categories including .what's the sexiest sex you ever sexxed .what's the grossest sex you ever sexxed.what sex are you glad you didn't sex .what sex do you sorely regret not sexxing.men: if woman?.women: if man?.
23
62
6K
my family genuinely wonders why I do not hang out with them lol
60
223
6K
19 year old who doesn't like pride parades thinks its grooming to tell someone "you should try estrogen" when they say some shit like "I would totally transition if I knew i would look cute at the other end of it" got me laffin.
I usually dont rant but am I the only one that finds this disgusting behavior? like ur basically grooming them into dysphoria "ur a bottom and 5'7 thats basically 25% woman" and everyone in the replies is praising her as if shes doing a good deed?? This is lowkey creep behaviour.
34
282
6K
I know we're not supposed to talk about it but are we still working on building the Tranopticion? the prison we put cis people to force them to be trans when Transgender wins social control over the country? pic related
55
571
6K
how exactly am i supposed to go on a date with someone who has a "primary partner".
100
109
6K
anyone else feel like cis people largely do not see you as your gender and you are being humored because they think you'll throw a tantrum if they don't.
98
672
5K
my mom told me she has a friend who has a trans fem daughter who lives in Colorado and I said "oh, who? I might know her" and she said "Luna"
15
189
6K
you don't need to have medically transitioned to be trans but you almost definitely have to have medically transitioned in order to detransition.
15
308
5K
personally as a trans masc I cannot relate but it's so sad to see this sentiment so often.
3
23
5K
@RoxyTall I don't give you or your throat much thought is one of my favorite sentences I've read in a while.
16
43
5K
earlier this year i matched with a woman on HER who expressed a mutual interest in rollerskating so I tried to organize that and she ghosted me. not to be deterred, I re-established contact after about a month and she apologized for ghosting and said she.
11
45
5K
🔒 ♻️
some of us hate ourselves and want to just be absolutely drenched in cum. we exist.
25
350
5K
they could tell she wasn't in it for love of the game. goggles and a shower cap? the point is to get messy 😮💨.
18
147
5K
