NigelNicholson
@NigelANicholson
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Following
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A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives exactly when he is supposed to. I never insult people. I describe them. https://t.co/RjpLU9CTcm
London
Joined August 2011
You know you're getting old when, faced with two temptations, you choose the one that gets you home by 9.00 pm.
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Total ineptitude by @RymanStationery and its carrier @YodelOnline I ordered online a filing cabinet to be delivered to the nearest store for me for me to collect. Due in two days. Now two days later. I'm told the reason for non-delivery is the carrier couldn't find the address.
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Many people see only clouds. Part of my "job" is to help them appreciate the silver lining.
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I am very pleased that my wise counsel has transformed the life of one of my parishioners. He spent 20 years as a house burglar but now he wants to give something back.
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I have no objection to having a few drinks with parishioners. However I think it is wrong for me to encourage alcohol use by buying my round.
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I am never afraid of expressing my opinions. But I am afraid of what might happen afterwards.
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If you visit Mozart's grave you will hear a very discordant sound. Don't worry. It's just the great man decomposing.
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I joined a new gym six months ago but it doesn't appear to have had any positive effect on my fitness and physique. If it goes on like this I'm going to have to go there in person and complain.
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I guess it's time to sort out my plans for the weekend. I'll probably have to go into work at some point.
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I have no problem with other religions. I also believe they are much better at exploiting their IP as this photograph from the Buddha Bar in Marrakesh shows.
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I met a man from Prague yesterday who was extolling the virtues of Czech beer and Czech women. Apparently they go hand in hand. The more beer you drink the better the women look.
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On Monday morning I usually tour the cafes and breakfast haunts of Belgravia to check if any of my congregation have any spending money left after the weekend. I work constantly to top up Church funds.
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Sunday is my busiest day of the week. When its sunny like today I always think it would make sense to organise an outdoor service. All I need is to find a conveniently available roof terrace with a champagne brunch and someone in the congregation willing to pick up the bill.
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An exciting Eurovision Song Contest. Congratulations to the Nordic countries. They know how to sing. The U.K. had a predictable result: an average song staged and sung very poorly.
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Had too much to drink last night. But as Dean Martin said: You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
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Like the Duke of Wellington I always do my best to do the business of the day during the day. If I fail, there is always........
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Some people have mistaken my occasional bursts of humour as a lack of commitment to my ministry. I can assure them and you that this impression is totally wrong. Like us all, I bow down in the face of great sentiments expressed by great people.
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As a man of the cloth, money means very little to me. It just fuels my ability to serve my parishioners wherever in the world they may be.....and I know a number of them will soon be heading to the Carribean.
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