Taylor from PKA
@MurkaDurkah
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43,050
Following
128
Media
130
Statuses
6,781
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@kathygriffin
@michaeljknowles
Your real claim to fame was single handedly ruining every seinfeld episode you ever appeared in.
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This PKA-hosting, internet-shit-talking, part of my life is going to be one I look back on fondly when it does end (this isn't indicative of anything you conspiritards).
I'm just saying it's an awesome experience and I'm glad I have you guys with me along for the ride.
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That 27% Rotten Tomatoes score should cement you as a cornerstone of Netflix for years to come.
Enjoy the final season of your show!
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I always thought you had to click exactly on the heart to like a tweet.
Just found out you can actually hit anywhere from the heart all the way to the number of likes, including the empty space. I've been needlessly accurate for so long.
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Every time I'm tempted to skip a workout I think:
"What would superboy do?"
Keeps me on track.
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Drinking episode update:
Kyle - super fucked up already
Woody - doing well, holding his own
Dick - enjoying his drinks, clearly has a high tolerance
Me - getting drunk, judgement is clouded
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*girl on tinder had "works w/ special needs kids"
me: cool job seems perfect for you
her: lol y?
me: cause that ass is retarded
*unmatched
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Status 2hr in:
Woody - drunker, when getting up to walk it is now obv, killing it like a champ
Kyle - his gran gala tolerance is showing, goin strong
Tucker - drinking on his own often, proud of him, respectable
Me - definitely getting drunk, gonna call tucker a cunt soon
Status 1hr 15min in:
Woody - Red face, "headset too tight", says he can understand why people like alcohol
Kyle - Tipsy, enjoying some Gran Gala, Had a few before show started
Tucker - Tipsy, taking shots often, really a champion
Me - Tipsy, drunk enough to be tweeting rn
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The T.A.Y.L.O.R System:
T- Take her home.
A- Ask what that noise was.
Y- You talk about the hobo problem.
L- Let her get threatened by hobos.
O- Overpower threatening hobos.
R- Reward Rufus.
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@Boogie2988
I know this is awful, but don't let this impact your weight loss. You have total control over that aspect of your life even given this difficult divorce. Stick with it, man.
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I'm not a big soccer fan and I don't know shit about the World Cup.
Still, it's really cool seeing the game bring people together as seen by all these Mexican/South Korean videos.
Seems, once again, the world is united against Germany.
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BREAKING: KYLE HAS FINISHED A FULL FIFTH IN THE FIRST 2.2 HOURS!!!
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Everyone needs a hobby, recently I've taken up catcalling and it's really put me in a more positive mood
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every chic fil a employee is worth at least 6 mcdonalds employees
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100 years from now Lord of the Rings will be seen as one of the great literary masterpieces of the 20th century.
Harry Potter will be remembered as a very popular children's franchise, if at all.
Don't @ me you know it's true.
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Can't wait to listen to this Elon Musk episode of Joe Rogan Experience.
I'm liking Musk more and more, it's hilarious watching how upset he makes people.
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"Fuck Kyle" is old and stale.
In light of this weeks conspiracy episode, I say we switch to "Sieg Kyle!"
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100% food throwback
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Sitting in Starbucks loudly typing fast, smugly chuckling to self and mentioning "mainframe" or "database" quietly every so often. Then crack my knuckles and loudly say BINGO before hitting enter key super hard as non-hacker patrons try not to stare.
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Anything i say that is incorrect or offensive is due to the lead paint in my great-grandparents house. Thanks for understanding.
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"Uber decides to give Lyft their entire customer base"
Uber will soon know if you’re drunk and could refuse to pick you up
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Feel bad for that Keaton kid.
Not as much for the bullying as for having the kind of mom that would upload a video of him crying to social media. 0/10 parenting skills
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