It’s the same photo. Had a special celebrity visit at the feeder, @TheSimpsons very own Mr. Burns! Little known fact, Mr. Burns may go by Montgomery but his real name is Chipmunkgomery Burns. 👀

Hey did anyone tell @mattrife that Christmas is not classified as an American holiday?

You know, if the wait is going to be in excess of 2.5 hours perhaps a call back feature should be an option? I get 15/20 minutes but … this is legitimately batshit crazy.

Now, I know this is speculative/rumour mill, and would LOVE to see this happen but I’m a little offended I wasn’t offered an audition; I mean come ON.

Remember back in 2024 when an SUV gave us an unplanned drive-thru? Well today, we assure you we ARE closed. Unplanned outage with @manitobahydro Thanks, Obama 😘 @POTUS44

The espresso machine at @TimHortons is the new ice cream machine at @McDonaldsCanada 👀 No Al Cappucino for me. Sad panda.

I still believe we can reclaim the 2011-2016 greatness of this app. Viva Twitter!

Took my vyvanse at 4:45 AM. Today is going to be something.

In 48 hours time I will finally have my mitts around another coffee from @wormholecoffee Is uh, is the delorean still there? 👀 (I love this place so much I’ve turned life long Chicago residents onto this place with my constant tire pumping) It’s been sooooo long. 🐛 🕳️ ☕️

Holy shit-hausen, look who I found! Very nice, very evil: even if he doesn’t know how to use a thermostat 🤷🏼‍♀️ @DanhausenAD What an absolute icon . 🖤

Having a conversation with my mother in law and the words “he really has a strong engelbert humperdink look to him, doesn’t he?” And I don’t know who I am anymore

Left this paper towel note for myself on the coffee/espresso maker. It worked. (It looks like mommy but says morning)

#NewProfilePic

If you read about ih an unhinged woman being arrested in an industrial park know it was me, and what set me off the deep end was some asshole passing me on the left as I slowed down to make a left hand turn. Complete with turn signal. Carry on.

“I apologize for the delayed response and any inconvenience this may of caused” Oh, OK. That makes it so much better.

Sent @UPS an email on September 8th about a missing shipment, they emailed me this morning to let me know it was delivered on September 11th. Yeah, I know it got delivered 18 days ago. What I needed was intel between the 8th and 11th. How is this an acceptable response time?

Start the day chasing your vyvanse with espresso. 👌

Here ya go @WWE I fixed it for ya. #WWEClash

The banshee like noooooooo I shrieked half way to work when I realized I hadn’t taken my ADHD meds and I’m in a 6 hour training course for gas detection certification. Looool

Is the sky still blue? Asking for Manitoba.

The redemption arc in happy Gilmore 2 is absolutely flawless. 29 years later @AdamSandler recreated comedy gold with a top tier list of cameo appearances, star studded cast and just enough nostalgia to reconnect us to the original masterpiece. What a legend. Absolute genius.