Greetings 👋 If you want to connect, please do so on LinkedIn. I haven't used Twitter since November, and I'll probably only check in here once or twice a year.

Why should I post anything here? I have a strong feeling no one is going to see it.

Yeah, that pretty much sums me up lol.

How much $$$ do you think this is worth? (not that I'm looking to sell, just curious) 🤔 #ElonMusk #autograph

What happened to the headphone wires? They were the only option, and then suddenly, they disappeared. Poof.

I freaking LOVE Craig Robinson. #waitwaitdonttellme #waitwait #npr

.@CNN should talk to me instead, I’ve been right on with my high level national predictions for almost ten years straight. Where’s my tv deal? I’ll do it for free, like that soccer ball octopus that everyone loves. 🐙 ⚽️

New American Amendment: if you disagree, be cool about it. For example: “Hey man, taxes are a drag, am I right?!” See how easy it is?

Legitimate Twitter tactic employed by many: “Go deep into strangers replies and then respond like you were part of the original conversation.” 😬 My strategy for overcoming this compulsion is to always post something friendly and maybe a little silly if I’m so invested.

🇺🇸US National Politics in a nutshell: 1. Issue is raised. 2. The news cycle reduces the issue to two, diametrically opposed party-affiliated positions. 3. Voters pick a side and condemn the other. 4. Repeat.

This is a superb visualization of European history (1500-2022).

I freaking love @Nick_Offerman. If I had a family crest, he’d be on it and the crest would probably say something like…

I saw Rocky Horror at the Alamo Drafthouse in Dallas Texas this past Halloween. Life is crazy. Show was awesome. 👄

Forwarding this question on to @PivotPod 🤞

Question for @profgalloway : technically speaking, what is the minimum amount of time it would take for @twitter to legally pass the point of no return? What is the specific order of events? Long time, first time, thanks! 🐕

If @elonmusk added a “swear jar” feature, he would make his money back overnight. I’ll accept full credit for saving the business during a catered lunch on Elon’s private yacht (that I assume he has) thank you very much. 🛥

ALERT 🚨 Tornado spotted East Texas

FYI: The new @slipknot album rules, and @jayweinbergdrum is amazing. Jersey FTW!

If @elonmusk was serious about making Twitter a a more fun place he would institute an “Opposite Day” patch. On Opposite Day, the intention and vocabulary of all tweets would be reversed for one glorious day a year. Oh yeah, and everyone’s profile pic gets a little mustache too.

Hello fellow Texans 🤠 Get all your voting-related questions answered here. Looking forward to the 8th 🇺🇸