Dr. Marcel Yarmolinsky
@MisfitTorah
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Rabbi/Teacher/Underachiever. Anarcho-Kotzker. Good Torah is Good Torah. I serve God not labels. I do not read scripts or perform on cue. Not a doctor.
Joined April 2017
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Pinned Tweet
Every day I thank God I managed to avoid the Future Jewish Leader Industrial Complex
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Apparently people are discussing Jojo Rabbit and I am sorry no line about Judaism ever written goes as hard as this
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For those wondering why I, an Orthodox Rabbi, am outraged by the Texas trans law, aren't I supposed to stand up for Torah Values or whatever
A thread:
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Also idk guys the trans people I know are pretty pro letting people transition and I'm pretty sure they know more about it than I do
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I also went to a convenience store recently and didn't kill anyone, where's my medal
OCT 7 FOOTAGE: HAMAS ENTER A CONVENIENT STORE TAKE FOOD AND DO NOT KILL ANYONE
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Also something rubs me the wrong way when it's like "well they're gonna kill themselves anyway whaddya gonna do some people just die because they don't conform to society's expectations it's fine we should do nothing"
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But what it comes down to is, I'm not sophisticated enough to rationalize kids killing themselves as part of the greater good because of The Culture War or whatever. (shrug) I'm a simple man. I see a dead kid, I get sad. I'd rather there be less dead kids.
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"but the suicide rate is the same before and after transition"
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Follow actual trans people, frum trans people, listen to what they have to say. I deserve no credit for stepping over a bar that's like, underground.
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Can Orthodox Jews be weirdos without it being proof of something for once in our freaking lives
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Because people seem to be retweeting this I'm gonna shout out Rabbi
@EmilyAviva
, one of my absolute favorite people on earth. Don't listen to me on this stuff listen to her also listen to her in general she's a secret gadol
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It continues to amaze me just how bad a judge of character Bernie Sanders is.
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the insane bullying of a guy who just posted a picture of himself smiling and saying he's proud to be Jewish, under the guise of "anti-zionism" is really telling of how toxic everything is right now
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People tend to assume that just because the lesson they took from the Holocaust was man's inhumanity to man and the danger of fascism, that is also what Jews took out of it, when the "lesson" many Jews got was more "you cannot trust any of these so-called good people"
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Ah yes, the Jews, conquerors, colonizers, and ruling class of the entire Middle East
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Where does he think the word "Ghetto" comes from
This was a serious question…
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This makes me furious for the obvious reasons, but also because this is a matter of Jewish law.
Just a supreme display of arrogance to assume that the method of car disposal has anything to do with your little theory. Would it be any easier to investigate a cubed car?
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I love Yom Kippur because it's one day of the year where my general tendency toward ruthless self criticism and self loathing is uplifted and sanctified and given religious value.
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Twitter is such a wild place where you can in ten minutes see both of these posts
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Stop saying that Jews are hiding the Talmud from you. The whole damn thing is available online, for free, translated into English. We got nothing to hide.
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Look man, be anti-Zionist, whatever, I don't care, but like, have some self respect, jeez
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Honestly, Whoopi Goldberg's only crime is knowing an average amount about the Holocaust.
The average amount is a bad amount, to be sure. But it's an average amount.
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It's so adorable when Ben Shapiro decides he is a Serious Student of Intellectual History and gets like everything wrong.
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Literally nauseates me that Chaya Raichik ostensibly shares a religious identification with me
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This is not a thing, people. Kippahs are allowed to touch the ground. They can even be thrown out in the regular trash. They're not religious objects, they're head coverings.
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why are the ZIONISTS covering up the WARSAW GHETTO UPRISING
It's wild that they never talk about resistance groups nor events like the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising
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Just got my DNA test back I'm 99.7% Ashkenazi Jewish. I paid 70 bucks to find that out.
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I'm sorry, the idea that the *IDF* sent "soldiers with chemical weapons" to effing Columbia University was always ridiculous paranoia and deluded grandeur and if you believed that I think less of you
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Everybody loves to hear the stories of Righteous Gentiles because you're like "I would have been a righteous gentile! I would have saved Jews!"....but statistically speaking, no, you wouldn't have
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Sometimes a bunch of weirdos dig a tunnel for reasons other than child abuse. Why does this need to be said
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Because every single bit of the body must be buried, (to the point that even the sponges used for cleanup are buried), and the cars in question are so full of blood and ashes and remains that its *impossible to get them out* the unprecedented decision was made to bury cars
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Yes, Hebrew, the only language in the world with loan words
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This just in: No Orthodox Jews live in Flatbush!
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because its not enough that 1200 Jews were murdered, beaten, raped, burned, and tortured in one day, no, we have to *beg* you and plead with you to please believe we didn't do it to ourselves
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but mr. one hit wonder over here thinks that the only reasons Jews have for doing things are nefarious and demonic, so here I am having to justify Jewish burial practices
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I can't quite explain this but Natasha Lyonne has Old Rabbi Energy
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"what do Jews think of Jesus"
It's very simple: we don't.
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The problem is not that Jody Micah is a Holocaust denier it's that it took her denying the Holocaust for you to believe us about what she's been saying and doing for *months*
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If you're a rabbinic leader of some sort and you follow libsoftiktok you are telling LGBTQ people in your orbit that you are okay with them dead. Act accordingly.
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Last year I said that people should really consider translating "the four sons" as "the four children" because we shouldn't be implying girls aren't part of Judaism simply because Hebrew lacks a gender neutral plural pronoun and people got super mad at me, but I'll say it again
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Yad Vashem recognizes 28,217 "Righteous Among the Nations". That seems like a lot until you remember the population of Europe was 554 million in 1939. So the odds are, give or take, 99.005% that no, you wouldn't have
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I have no idea why gas prices are some people's only criteria on which they judge a president.
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The more normalized denial of sexual violence on October 7 gets, the deeper my disillusionment with the left gets and the bleaker I feel about the future of the global Jewish community.
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Oh my god, touch grass, people. Stop this nonsense. This is some QAnon-level paranoia. The New York Times is not using its crossword puzzles to signal Nazism for whatever reason I don't understand.
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why is it so small Chris
The online pearl clutching about this is worse than the actual extinguishing. The core Jewish population of Poland is 0.0001% of the general population. It's extremely weird to be putting up menorahs in the parliament of a country like that. Not everything is a Chabad House.
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we have to sit there while all you armchair massacre experts go ahead and peer closely at the pictures of our charred and mutilated remains and pronounce it unconvincing evidence to warrant our grief
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Dear goyim who can't understand how Judaism simultaneously adapts to new circumstances and affirms its commitment to its laws on the books through the creative use of loopholes:
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Just in case anyone's confused: My position on Israel is that no one's going anywhere and the sooner everyone accepts that the better off we'll all be.
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these people know so little about Judaism they honestly think the first anti-zionist synagogue in the US was opened in 2019 instead of whenever R. Yoel of Satmar got here.
As long as Zionism has existed, there were Jews standing in opposition to it. From the Jewish Labor Bund, to Albert Einstein and Hannah Arendt; from Hajo Meyer to Judith Butler. In 2019, Tzedek Chicago became the first anti-Zionist synagogue in the US.
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I know it's hard to believe but just because we have funny hats doesn't mean every member of the Orthodox community spends every moment of their lives plotting to unspeakable evil. Crazy, I know!
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In my experience, the only people who think being the chosen people really is a statement about Jews being better than everyone else are antisemites.
About 50% of Jews are atheists. They don't believe in God, but they do believe they are His chosen ones.
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Read between the lines here and it's actually an extremely funny story
7 Anti-Zionist Jewish artists get work accepted at SF Jewish Museum's and then pull work from exhibition because museum won't meet their demands via
@JTAnews
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It's important to understand that JewBelong is essentially one woman's tweets but instead of putting it on twitter she puts them on billboards because she's that rich
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Sometimes you see a tweet so horrible you go to their profile to see what kind of person says such a thing out loud and I discovered....something arguably worse?
@MrSmarmyPants
Converts were not raised Jewish, they are not blood, they know the lyrics very well but not the melody. Appreciate them for their sacrifice but be aware they are really only half Jewish at best no matter how good a matzoh ball soup they can make.
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Current leftist activism is reading about how evil Imperialism and colonialism is and instead of doing some introspection about your own role in this, going "how could the Jews do this"
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I think I speak for all neurodivergent people when I say that the super power I wish I had was being able to tell when I'm being annoying
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you people wouldn't believe the murder of a Jew until the corpse began to rot in your living room and even then you'd be sticking your fingers in their wounds to test to see if its really blood or is it strawberry jam
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"If it were not for the accident of my birth, I would be antisemitic."
-Henry Kissinger
Henry Kissinger was a towering intellect, diplomat and practitioner who - not without controversy - helped shape American foreign policy with a lasting impact worldwide. A refugee from Nazi Germany, and the first Jewish Secretary of State, he was unapologetic about his heritage…
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Oh my god a Jew has money in a bank we must summon the Einsatzengruppen or else who knows what will happen
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The premise of Ben Shapiro's piece on Modern Orthodoxy is that we can just exclude LGBTQ people out of existence. This premise is both false and not something we ought to want.
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As I suspected, which is that Bushnell's opinion that all Israelis are legitimate targets for violence is just the norm on the left these days.
This text was recently written by Aaron Bushnell. It demonstrates that Bushnell was entirely sane, knew his facts, was logical, coherent, and thoroughly lucid.
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This is the kind of thing I'm talking about when I say that social media is making people perform their emotions and identity. You really really don't need to do this and the need you have to mark yourself as Better Than The Others is pathology, not virtue
When I tell people I’m Jewish, I also pro-actively say I’m anti-zionist.
I do so because Israel kills in the name of Jews, most Jews are Zionist, & I want to be clear where I stand. If Jewish folks don’t want to be incorrectly conflated with Israel, the answer is to end Zionism.
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I'm so so sorry that the people who spent their last moments tied up in those cars as they burned to death didn't scream loud enough for you to hear. We will next time try to be murdered in a way that makes it more obvious to you. We'll try to be considerate of your time
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Ben Shapiro is the worst sort of person in that he has two qualities that exacerbate each other:
A) a conviction that his own views are logical and rational and everyone else's aren't
B) an absolute refusal, perhaps even an inability, to criticially examine his own views
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If only there was some kind of ethnoreligious minority in Germany that knew how to make a good bagel, oh well
Took going to northern Germany to find a bagel and it's uhh, something
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I hope all the new followers are ready for a whole lot of Jewish stuff?
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All I know is, there are LGBTQ people who want to learn Torah and be Shomer mitzvos to the best of their ability, and we should be encouraging people to learn Torah and be Shomer mitzvos to the best of their ability. I'm not sophisticated enough to think beyond that.
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Well this article is super depressing
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Just say Jewish Jack this is taking forever
𝗭𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝗛𝗔𝗜𝗧𝗜 & 𝗔𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗔!
Zionism, a political ideology that many say has hijacked Judaism to pursue settler-colonialism in occupied Palestine, does not end at the borders of the state of Israel. Zionist businessmen Gilbert Bigio and Dan Gertler cast a…
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This is the Europe that people want to send us back to, because, they promise, things will be different this time!
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Scrolling through Twitter for my daily dose of "oh god they're gonna kill us all in a pogrom any minute now, aren't they"
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I like to think of Esther saying softly, under her breath, "boop"
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This is such a clear example of people using Jews as a scapegoat (in all the senses of the word) for all of colonialism and Imperialism. It's all just purging of guilt by placing it on the Eternal Other.
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Just in case people are feeling down: If your Purim this year doesn't have homemade hamantaschen and elaborate mishloach manot and great costumes and Instagram ready meals.... It's fine. It's really fine. Don't worry.
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This was the person Bernie Sanders trusted to speak on his behalf, which remains completely insane
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I think we take for granted how insane it is that the Talmud Bavli exists and that it is our most authoritative legal source
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*says literally nothing that is correct*
"thanks for explaining! /Gen "
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Like, I'm so f***ing sorry our burial customs take precedence over your need to keep trying out new ways to dismiss the murders of Jews. I'm so sorry that our respect for the dead outweighs your fantasies of being an investigative reporter. I'm so sorry our lives are real.
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I am also pointing out the strangeness of being lectured about the moral lessons we ought to have derived from the Holocaust by the descendants of those who, if not its perpetrators, allowed it to happen
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forget for a second the reducing of Jewish identification with the land of Israel as "where someone lived during the roman empire", in terms of advocating for Palestinians this is shooting yourself in the foot
I’m gonna be completely honest here - as a white American whose ancestors were English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, and Swedish, the idea of having a “homeland” is a completely foreign concept to me.
To see so many people center their entire identity around where some of their…
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people are coming out against Sefaria because their new translation uses gender neutral pronouns for God? What kind of heresy is this?! Are you saying that God is limited in some way to one gender?! The "frum" side here is actually way more theologically problematic!
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Anyway, I am not saying this is the right lesson as much as I am asking what assumptions underlie the need to make Jewish trauma into a "lesson" for the world, and asking why people feel they can tell Jews what they're supposed to learn from their own murder
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"how could Hamas have burned all those cars, what could they have used"
idk they could have used this amazing newfangled technology called "fire"
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So are you gonna cancel all debt every seven years or are you full of crap
Israel’s incoming Minister of Finance: “They tried capitalism, they tried socialism, an approach they didn’t try is called ‘If you obey the commandments’ (Deuteronomy 13:11). If we implement the Torah we’ll have economic prosperity and great blessing. That’s my economic approach”
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Yes, the New York Times absolutely for real on purpose made their crossword puzzle look like a swastika. That is a thing that happened just the way you imagine.
You all need to get a grip.
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Ben is worried that if the state comes for Chassidim, it will next come for Evangelical Christians like him
The media's new war on Hasidic Jewry is merely a metastasized version of the old culture war against evangelical Christians: anyone who rejects the predations of Left-wing pseudo-morality must be targeted. That theme undergirds the NYT investigation.
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What Talmud actually is
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Trans people aren't ideologies. Trans people are people. A trans woman didn't sneak in to Magen David to spread an insidious ideology or whatever. They wanted a job that fit their expertise. That's all. They're people just trying to get through life. People.
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I am occasionally in leftist Jewish spaces where I hear people complaining about how they can't criticize Israel without fellow Jews getting mad at them. But you can. You just have to have the credibility to do so.
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Welcome to the resistance, *checks notes* Satmar Rebbe
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