*mogs you* oh I'm sorry *mogs you* sorrgy accident *mogs you* *mogs you* *mogs you* *mogs you* why r u bleeding?

thinking ab the time this girl was cuddling me and ripped off my clothes and said toys dont wear clothes

He took a particular interest in me and my work, offering to introduce me to the various specimens that he kept around his farm. One specimen, in particular, caught my eye: a creature he called “Momo.” It reminds me of a specimen I had kept as a pet during my formative years. 2/3

Having found my bearings in this new land, I begin this journal at the end of my first week. A young farmer offered to let me stay the night in exchange for a few stories. The cold season of his planet had likely left him bored and eager for a change of pace. 1/3

Specimen: Vinehorn Report: Its durable horns can work as a means of displacing the soil, finding the specimen a common use in the planting seasons of farms. Demonstrates an amiable nature along with the intelligence needed to learn and memorize various tricks and commands.

Specimen: Slickswine Report: Due to its small stature and love of mud, this docile specimen is frequently tripped over by distracted passerby. It is surprisingly gelatinous. #weeklyspecimen #genomegenesis

GUYS IM SCARED OF FIREWORKS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I FORGOT PPL LIGHT THEM AT NEW YEARS

doodle

the children donʻt know that the minecraft server software is free

any trans girls who transitioned after 2020 cant tuck, all they know is - let it hang sister - wehhh im an ouppy - gets so hard I - absurd yuri consumption - brisket guilty gear

https://t.co/6ESiyie4dB

Wait so which ones the sweet tooth again?

"i really don't understand how people don't see you as [gender]" i am so sorry to tell you this but you are alone in this perception of me and i have simply just afflicted you with The Sight

thinking about how if u hang out with a cys person long enough they start to develop what i refer to as "gender vision" & they no longer are able to interpret you/trans people in general the way that broader society does. this does make them useless for determining if u pass tho

an ivy league grad is the main suspect for shooting the united healthcare ceo and the person who snitched was a mcdonalds worker. shakespeare couldn’t have written this shit.

i think luigi mangione rating the unabomber’s manifesto a 4/5 on goodreads is so funny. it’s like yeah that was pretty good, but i could do better.

guy 1: There'll be parties for hosting guy 2: Marshmallows for toasting and caroling out in the snow guy 3 (has no idea what Christmas is): There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago

you kill a man for being “greedy” and yet you yourself are a bisexual. how curious

New fear unlocked: my students finding my Minecraft yaoi💀

I remember a woman who survived being mauled by a bear (it RIPPED HER FACE OFF) did an ama about her experience and said the worst part of the whole thing, attack, rescue, recovery, years of healing, many surgeries, was dealing with the health insurance company

all my clothing recommendations are intentionally uncomfortable bc men should always and continuously suffer